As you may remember, for many years after Mommy died, I didn't have much Christmas Spirit. I mean, I would break out my Santa hat and ornament earrings, and start wearing all that shit, including my jingle ball necklace, starting on December 1st. But every year, that was the extent of my Christmas Spirit.
When I married Stephen, we would buy a little potted rosemary "tree" each year, which he would decorate with lights and ornaments, and he'd hang lights and garlands around the living room, and the place would look festive. I mostly didn't help with the decorating. He mostly didn't need help, and he always "got it" that I just wasn't emotionally in a place where I needed to decorate. I appreciated it being done, but I think not having it would have been fine, too. I dunno. It was always his "thing".
When we moved to the wrong-for-us coast, we acquired a fake Christmas tree, so no more rosemary "trees". It's probably for the best, at least for the rosemary. We never could keep those little things alive a full year. I'm #Grateful that Lowe's always took the poor, pathetic dead things back when we bought a new one. But once we got the fake one from his dad's house, we stopped buying and killing rosemary.
Two years ago*, I put up the tree and decorated it. He didn't ask me to, but he was pleasantly surprised that I had done it. There were still garlands and lights and other things he could do, so the apartment was festive enough. And I personally had some Spirit. *I really thought that this happened last year, not two years ago. Apparently, last year, I was fighting SAD again. #DepressionLies
Last year, we were back to Stephen doing it all. He didn't need my help, so he did it all on his own. This year, I probably offered to help, but by not jumping up into it, he again did it all on his own. But possibly because this year he's an actual orphan, he ran out of steam after hanging all the lights and garlands and getting the tree up and lit. I wore my Santa hat, ornament earrings, jingle ball and socks once or twice this month. We spent the whole month of December with a box or two of ornaments under the tree, waiting to be put up. Never happened.
Until today, when Stephen took down all of the decorations and packed them away. The ornaments have been put up, if where they are stored until next year is elevated in any way. Christmas is over. He's even sweeping, vacuuming, and mopping the kitchen floor (not that our fake tree sheds needles or anything, but the floor needed the mopping). He's a hero, kids.
So, since I have spent practically every day of this cool-weather season crocheting gifts for family and friends, including after I mailed out the family gifts, I've gone back to Jo-Ann for more yarns. They've got the bright pastels out, so I guess I'm working on Easter eggs... maybe Easter baskets? Hmm... I do have a pattern for some "catch-all" crocheted basket thingies. I guess I know what to start on next! ... besides blogging, reviewing movies for you, ramping my acting career into a higher gear, and loving on the cats, of course.
How have YOUR holidays been? Looking toward 2019 with eagerness, or dread? Let's talk about that!
Lovely read. The jingle bell necklace and the little rosemary tree. They sent me straight back to my own last good holidays. My mother adored Christmas as well. When she died, my spirit ebbed until it finally winked out. I don't even bother going through the motions anymore. I keep thinking, "Maybe next year." It just gets here too quickly I guess. At least there's always cats.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your reply. I know how easy it is to just let stuff like decorating NOT happen. If somehow, neither of us has it in us to do anything next year, I think I shall make my way over to Lowe's and buy another rosemary tree. Whether we decorate it or not is immaterial. We'll be able to look at it, and smell it, and cook with the "needles", and that'll be festive enough.
DeleteAnd at least there are always cats. :)
I know how you feel about motivation to decorate. Usually I'm putting up a tree and outside lights the first weekend in December. This year we were several weeks in before we even managed to get a tree up and that even took two days to get up and fully decorated. Didn't even bother with the outside lights. I just don't have the energy with my medical issues going on. I almost spent Christmas in the hospital. I was in for three days and got out the afternoon of Christmas Eve. We ended up spending a nice little subdued day with just the two of us and the dogs. Definitely much lower key than last year. I hope you guys had a pleasant day yourself.
ReplyDeleteI don't believe our ACTUAL Christmas Day was even a "nice little subdued day" - it was, frankly, just another day off. I spoke with my sister, my brother-in-law, and my father on the phone. Any other day, I talk to Daddy. But that's it. Just another day. Just like tomorrow will be! Except that I'm making Hop-N-John in the crockpot overnight. Just another day.
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