This town needs an enema! Or, well, This apartment does. Same diff.

Thank you, Joker. You speak the truth.

Y'all remember when I told you a few days ago that I'd reached a point in my juice cleanse where, if I sucked in my gut, it really only pulled in my ribcage-adjacent abs, and not my belly? No? Hmm... Maybe I only told Stephen.

Ennyhoo. I'm actually enjoying this fast, for the most part. Sometimes the juice extractor will get away from whichever of us is running it, and we'll have a Carrotastrophe or a Beetaggeddon (#CleanUpCleanUpEverybodyCleanUp), but the juices are tasty and filling (for a few hours, at least). And we seem to be using the terlet more.

However, I was really hoping to shed some belly fat, and with it, maybe a dozen pounds? My efforts in the terlet were strained, as it were, and I wasn't really shedding any weight, and I could still only see my toes over my little pot belly, instead of straight down my legs. This was making me a bit unhappy, as was only working the two days I'd had the week before last. #PutMeToWork #CabinFeverSetsIn

Whatever. That's not what this post is even about, #StupidDepression!

Back to the straining to shed weight. Stephen did a little research, and discovered that wheatgrass juice is supposed to be an excellent natural laxative. Then he also discovered that juicing wheatgrass is a complicated process.  So he researched some more, and discovered the brilliance of enemas.

Yup, I said it. Brilliance of enemas. Now, I know that #BackInTheDay, enemas were used on a fairly regular basis by your average Jo(e/anne), anytime constipation was an issue, or before childbirth, or possibly for other reasons. Neither of us has ever had/used one, so more research into the "how" was done. And then yesterday, we went for a walk, that included shopping for better brushes to clean the juice extractor, wheatgrass juice, and possibly enema kits.

We purchased all of the things. The juice was only available at Jamba, not in any grocery coolers, and the dude at the counter offered orange wedges, as a chaser. #RedFlagsFlying Wheatgrass Juice Is Nasty. There are people who order it on a regular basis, whenever they pick up a fruit smoothie at Jamba. Those People Are Insane Or Else They Have No Tastebuds.

So, we won't be returning to Jamba anytime soon. Not only because of the horrible #WheatgrassFailureOf2017, but also because all of the juices sold at Jamba cost too much. I can do what I want for less with fresh produce from the grocery store!

... got home, farted around (literally? Very possibly - juicing does increase flatulence, and if you're unknowingly "backed up", you can't really trust farting around.) Eventually read the instructions on all three panels of the box, and decided to give it a "go". Stripped down, lying nekkid on the bathroom floor, worked the dealio, and BOOM! Within mebbe a minute or two, I was up on the terlet, evacuating. Brilliance, I tell ya. (BTW, Mr. "Most Interesting Man In The World", I DO always sit down to pee, unless circumstances prevent that. So you don't actually speak for ME <=>)

And in the shower that followed, I looked down my body, tightened my abs, and saw my thighs, knees, and feet. Yay!

Have you ever had an enema? Aren't they brilliant?

Apparently, I'm getting ADHD

... at least, according to the dude teaching last night's VO (voiceover) workshop.

As you may or may not be aware, I'm currently in the middle of mainlining VO training, so I can start seeking auditions and/or representation that will do the seeking for me. I've already done an animation (character) workout, and Voice-To-Picture, and a couple of commercial workouts.

Workouts are set up to record stuff in the booth, with feedback from the other actors and the person running the board (the engineer). Workshops still get you in the booth, but you don't get feedback from anyone other than the "teacher", for the most part. Unless the copy you're reading is restricted, like in the VTP workshop, you usually get to take your recordings home on a flash drive.

So, last night's workshop was all about narration, which covers documentaries, PSAs, museum guide (recordings, of course), and corporate/industrial, but not audiobooks! It was being led by a man who's a staple in that arena, without necessarily being famous. The voices you know you've heard in this arena include Peter Coyote and Morgan Freeman. They are not going to teach a workshop to get you more work in this particular playing field. The guy last night basically told us that there is a ton of work out there, if we're interested in focusing on Narration.

Which leads me to my title. He asked us to introduce ourselves, with a little backstory into our experience to date, and why we wanted to take that particular class. His response to mine was to tell me/us that I'm/we're "probably getting" ADHD, as there are So. Many. Worlds. to choose from in VO, and if I/we've not yet "chosen" which world I/we want to "live" in, it can get overwhelming.

Yes, that. The overwhelm is strong in *this* one.

HOWEVER, I'm loving attending these workshops. Now I just need someone who "knows" me (or at least my voice/range/acting abilities) to give me a nudge in one direction. Which is why I want an agent. But it's also why I need to fine-tune the demos I already have and/or record fresh, new demos. But for which specific worlds?

Dammit.

*****

Also, in case you're wondering how my juice cleanse/fast is going, Stephen informed me today that his leg cramps and my back pain are probably related to the detox, and that we should both be consuming electrolytes in addition to our juices. I can do that. I'm loving the juices, for the most part, and I think I have my ingredients list narrowed down (after doing a couple of massive shops), for next week, at least, when Stephen returns to chewing again and I'm still juicing. I've got access to electrolytes to add to clear water, between "meals", too. So we're good.

If you're wondering what the fuck I'm talking about, you obviously haven't been following along. You needn't go far into the archives to get caught up, unless you feel like it, just for your own sense of accomplishment. So, please. Peruse my archives. They're right there ==>

What fun things are happening in YOUR life these days? #TellMeAllAboutEm

Day Four, or That Time I Tried Cleansing While On Set

I got to go to work today! First day on set in two months (granted, I did visit Daddy for three weeks, so if you somehow didn't know that, I recommend you rifle through my archives. I think last month-ish just about covers it). NDAs in mind, I'll just say that the work that I did was easy and enjoyable, and I hope to return to that particular show.

But it was Day Four of Thirty for my juice fast/cleanse, so I had to go in prepared. I juiced a lot of veggies and some fruit yesterday, poured it into two large drink bottles (I shan't call them "water" bottles, as I don't ever drink "water" from them), and put those bottles in the freezer overnight. I juiced again this morning, and put my "remainder" in the fridge for my return from set.

Our "holding" area was adjacent to Catering. I managed to plant myself far enough away to not smell the smells, and when the official lunch "break" happened, I stayed put so as not to create any waftiness by walking by all of the delicious delectable chewable wondrousnesses (I'm assuming all of those adjectives). I never even saw what was in those chafing dishes! I'm sure there were beef, chicken, and fish selections, as well as two or three hot veggie choices, in addition to the salads and other cold items, like desserts. Standard studio catering. A lovely, daily smorgasbord.

... and you wondered why I love working on set! HA! It's the FOOD!

... but none for me today. Any time I felt hunger pangs, I drank some juice. It got me through the day. Good stuff.

But now that I'm home, I've finished all of the juice I'd prepared yesterday, and my back and neck are starting to hurt (probably from all of the sitting I did yesterday), and I'm hungry again, but I really don't feel like juicing tonight.

Think I'll just eat a pear or a nectarine (or both), and call it a night. Wake up super-early, feeling like I'm starving, and get up and juice enough to get me through the day I'll be spending at the SAG-AFTRA Don LaFontaine Voiceover Labs. That's right. Tomorrow, I have another booth session and workshop.

So, what are YOU doing tomorrow? Primarily, with what delicious delectables will you be stuffing your face? ;)

Food Documentary Reviews

A day or two ago, I watched Fat, Sick, & Nearly Dead and Hungry for Change

Tonight, I watched Food, Inc. and Super Size Me

I still have Fed Up, Forks Over Knives, Sugar Coated, and Cowspiracy to view. I have a feeling I'll drop that last one without watching it, but I may get to the other final 3, because I feel like I'm learning a lot without becoming too PETA-fied.

I could, if push came to shove, give up beef, poultry, and possibly even pork forever. Well, maybe not pork. I know for a fact that no matter what push ever reached my shove, I would not give up fish or dairy. I ain't ever gettin' that PETA-fied. Sorry if that offends your reasons for veganism. I am an omnivore, as are you. My mouth is built for eating all the things.

However, I do understand that my food supply may be killing me, or at least depressing the hell outta me...

*****

Okay, so those day counts are off. I started watching food docs more than a week ago, and I just never published any reviews. So here they are:

Fat, Sick, & Nearly Dead: This is a road-trip, life-lessons, personal growth documentary about the reasons to fast, or cleanse by juicing, and the experiences of the filmmaker in his particular journey, as well as a couple other journeys of folks he encounters in his travels. It is EXCELLENT. Highly Recommended, particularly if you've thought about the whole "juicing" trend, and wondered why anyone does it, or HOW anyone does it, or what anyone gets from it. This documentary is the primary reason I am on a juice fast right now, and also why Stephen will be starting one when he has 3 days off to get started (the first 3 days are touted as being the worst part).

Hungry For Change: talks primarily about the food industry from a consumer's point of view. It's not life-shattering, but it's pretty good as a follow-up to F,S, &ND. Plus-or-minus Zero (watch it or don't).

Food, Inc. and Super Size Me are both pretty high on the "gross" factor. Food, Inc., as you may suspect, talks about the horrors of the food industry, particularly on the "where our meat comes from" and the disgusting ways the industry treats both the animals and the workers. Super-Size Me is another road-trip, life-lessons, personal growth doc but from the opposite direction from F,S, &ND. This dude is actually trying to support a legal argument about a specific case where a teen's family is suing McDonald's for her health issues. He does in 30 days what the kid spent her lifetime achieving. It's not pretty. Watch either of these if you feel a need to ignite your "activist" persona.

Fed Up and Sugar Coated both attack the sugar realms of the food industry. I already had all of the information both of these films threw at me, so if anything, they "solidified" my desire to cleanse. I've already completely cut high fructose corn syrup out of my diet, and I really don't consume "that much" other refined sugars. But the cleanse will help my system reboot from any stored sugars, I'm hoping. If you don't know why you're getting "fat", watch these. If you care to ignite your "sugar-activist" persona, these should do the trick. If you're not that interested, these probably won't spark your interest.

Stephen and I (re-)watched Fat, Sick, & Nearly Dead to reach an agreement on juicing. Then we watched Forks Over Knives, which was honestly the best companion to F, S, &ND. While I'm already into my cleanse, he's reducing his own intake of animal fats, so he'll be ready for the cleanse when he starts. He's also tasted some of the juices, so he can get an idea of what he's in for. Forks Over Knives promotes a vegan lifestyle without getting too #PETAActivismish. The two primary doctors it documents grew up on farms with dairy cows, and came to their conclusions separately. I've never really wanted to "go vegan" because of all the teeth I have, and because of my love of bacon and cheese and carnitas and ice cream... so we'll see how well the cleanse works for me, and we'll see if I can continue to consume micronutrients (whole, plant-based foods) once I'm done, and if I manage to get weaned from macronutrients (everything the food industry pushes) for good! Highly Recommended

We have, in fact, taken Cowspiracy out of the queue, unwatched. I just really don't want to watch another gross, horrific, painful, #PETAActivismish food doc. I'll probably re-watch F, S, &ND and F/K another coupla times before my fast completes.

And here's a short video from this morning!

... and now I'm hungry, only two hours later. Time for another juice! (Had it - it was great; waited to publish for that video ^ to load).

So. You know where this puts ME. Where does it put you? Will you be watching any/all of these films?

Diet and exercise? Part One of a sporadic Many?

I've been away for a bit. Managed to catch up on the blogs I read, and had started a new post the other day, but haven't (at this moment) gone back to finish it and post it. I will, I promise, soonish. In the meantime, when I came to my site this evening, I noticed that two people had hit this post, so I went back to re-read it (and the comments, of course). It's apropos.

But what I wanted to post here is a vlog I haven't yet shot. Dammit. I keep forgetting which camera Blogger allows me to post from. ^This one was shot using my webcam (although not from within Blogger, because that would make too much sense!) v For this one, I'm using my DSLR camera. Let's see which one Blogger lets us see, shall we?

FILE TOO BIG!!!!

So there it is... webcam, not DSLR, even compressed. Then again, you may not be able to view even the first one. #ShitFuckPissDammitToHell. Oh, well.

Bow-now-now-now-now-now-na-nuh. (Yes)terday was my birthday!

Thank you, The Beatles, for my earworm yesterday. Thank you, Patrick, for singing it into my voicemail. Thank you, Twitter and Facebook, for reminding everyone who knows me online, to send electronic wishes. Thank you, family and friends in real life, who remembered & said something or decided to celebrate a moment for yourselves, as that is really all I ever really wish, on my annual trek 'round the sun, that those who know me will do something fun or celebratory, for just a moment, remembering that I've made it another lap.

So, yeah. Made it another lap. Go, me!

I've been unemployed too long. Stephen thinks I'm Depressed. But I don't feel the same that I usually do when I'm Depressed, which someone else's therapist actually described better as "COMpressed", meaning, All of the Feelings that we might experience in a given day or week are mashed up together so tightly that we don't feel them at all. I've been feeling all the feels and just living, unemployed. So another friend linked an article about High Functioning Depression, which actually sounded a lot like I feel lately. Since I couldn't easily locate that article (it was in a long Twitter conversation/thread, and if you know Twitter at all, you know that important stuff gets easily lost in those threads), I just Googled it:

There are a lot of articles about it. My doc has referred me to the KP "Depression Team" to see if there's any help for me. His referral happened on Friday the 26th of May, after he used the "quick-and-easy" diagnostic tool for depression, a questionnaire that included things like "to what degree do you ever think about being dead or harming yourself?". I didn't hear from the DT Manager (by phone) until Thursday the 1st of June. HE asked me right away to expound on that question in particular (I often, when "feeling" depressed, think about being dead; I never have any impulses toward self-harm or suicide), and after some in-depth conversation, he told me I'd hear from my assigned social worker either that day or the next.

It's now Sunday the 4th, and it's a really damn good thing I don't have intentions or impulses of self-harm or suicide, because if I did, Kaiser Permanente could be (possibly) held liable for anything I may have done before my social worker finally calls me to talk me off a ledge and see me in person!

Fortunately for KP, I really think my diagnosis is going to be one of dysthymia (the clinical name for High Functioning Depression). What I know about my own Depression is that I've had it for awhile, never been diagnosed, and have always just kept calm and carried on. That's exhausting. I want some help. I'll be happy to get any diagnosis, at this point. I'm tired of being deeply angry or even just a little irate over stupid shit, like the "church" around the corner (appropriating my symbolism) or not booking work (feeling unwanted) or coughing/clearing my throat for no reason (wtf is wrong with my breathing?) or or or or....

Ennyhoo. I have penpals to write to, and pages to color, and laundry to wash, and blogs to read, and VO to record as practice, and furbabies to feed, and lotteries to win (it's My Turn, dammit!), and wine-n-chocolate to consume, and and and and...

... and I get to have a colonoscopy on the 12th! Whee! But for now, continuing my birthday in fine form, this will be me for the next day or two

until the cake runs out, that is...