Assumptions based on personal history, UPDATED

If you've been following me for awhile, you know that one of the ways I *try* to stay fit is by walking 10,000 steps each day. I'll go days at a time where I don't get close - like, if I stay in the apartment and never venture past the mailbox, I'm lucky to hit 1,000 steps. And then I'll have weeks where I average 12k-13k per day. It's no big deal, either way; I'm not bragging about my successes nor complaining about my "failures". I'm just saying - I'm a human being who has found a way to feel good about fitness through walking, and I have good days and not-so-good days.

One of my favorite reasons to get out of the house lately, is when I "win" a "give" from my local Buy Nothing group. If you're on Fakebork At All, you may know about the Buy Nothing Project. "Give Where You Live" is the motto that drives it, and it's a FREE marketplace where you can meet your neighbors. Have a sectional couch in decent shape that you don't need anymore? Post it as a "give" in your local group. Need new hot or foam rollers because your hair is long enough to work on "period" film/television and just don't have time to shop for a new set? ASK for them! Chances are, you have a neighbor who wants to unload their old-but-still-functional steam rollers! Or express your appreciation for all of the neighbors who contributed single china tea place settings for your bridal shower garden party in a "gratitude" post! It's amazing. 

Because the "marketplace" is hyper-local, receiving a gift is a very good excuse to take a walk. I don't always get 10k steps out of it, but I've learned my local routes well enough, and I do wear my Disney princess non-Fitbit thingy, so I can calculate where I need to go to get those 10k. So I get out, pick up small "gives, sometimes meet the neighbors (not always - COVID has made a lot of exchanges socially distant), get my steps.

Most days, whether I'm able to walk at my 3.5 mph pace, or I'm much slower due to foot, ankle, or knee pain, I'm walking by choice. OFTEN (far too often), some random dude in a car will pass me, honking or slowing down, to "check me out". I do what I can to ignore them. If they're blatant in their rude gawking, I'll turn to face them and angrily yell "WHAT?"... at which point they'll usually offer me a ride.

I've been stewing over this random-dudes-offering-me-rides issue for awhile. I do not know how to make it clear, once and For All Time, that I am taking a fucking walk! If I wanted to be in a car, I'd be driving!

So. Yesterday, after I was wrapped from set, I had a pick-up to make. Walking home, a car approached and slowed waaaaay the fuck down. I was already in angry yell "WHAT?" mode before I realized the driver was a little old lady. After I passed, another pedestrian couple stopped at her passenger window, and she told them that I looked exactly like her mother did, when she (her mom) was my age.

Not what I was expecting to hear. My personal experiences with walking through my neighborhood have only allowed me to assume that the driver is some rando... a horndog dude. And so I finished my walk, chastened for having yelled at a little old lady who was missing her dead mom, and I cried, missing my Mommy. 

When you assume, you make an ass outta you and me.

What's walking in your neighborhood like? Do you participate in the BNP, or anything similar? Do you still miss your dead Mommy, 15 years later? Talk to me, peeps. I've been gone awhile. I miss you! (Comment below)

UPDATE: I got home from set today, did some "stuff", and then headed out for a nearby pickup from my BNP group. Easy peasy 10k steps today. Then, as I'm reaching my block, I allow a turning car to travel before I cross the street. I know that as a pedestrian, I have the right of way, and I will often exercise that right, but just as often, I'll yield, so I don't piss off a driver enough to have him knock me on my ass with his car. So I yielded, and walked down my block towards the apartment building. Dude must've been watching me, and turned around. He traveled down my block, slowly, and asked if I wanted a ride. PLEASE say it with me: "No, I don't want a fucking ride! If I wanted to be in a car, I'd be driving!"

Fuck these fucking assumptions. I hate being right so much.

Where to Begin, to "cover" two years?

5:51 p.m. I suppose the smart thing to do would be to re-read the 16 posts I made in 2019. Yeah, that's what I'll do... hang on... BRB, as the kids say...

7:38 p.m. I can't just re-read my words. I have to re-read them aloud, because I'm more actor than writer, y'all. Sorry it took me 1.5 hours to read 17 posts. #ImADumbass #IIncludedTheOneFromThisWeek

2019 ended with plenty more work and plenty more volunteerism and probably a Christmas party or a dozen, notably at the SAG-AFTRA offices, among other places. We worked and earned some money and made some contacts and lived our fucking lives. All of us did. None of us knew.

2020 began and I continued booking background acting work. I was on set, photo-doubling for Cloris Leachman in scenes she was not able to shoot (yes, I was wigged and dressed and absolutely not shot in such a way you'd know it wasn't her)... and then the world learned of "The Chinese Virus"... and the production did everything right from the word "go"... masks and hand sanitizers and temperature checks and no more communal buffet-style catering or craft services... and I had one last day to go, which got cancelled without notice, but I guess "Finger of God" is sufficient excuse not to pay anyone for that day of work, so at the beginning of April, I filed for unemployment. By June, I'd lost my health insurance coverage (as I'd lost my eligibility by the end of March).

At some point early in 2020, Stephen was hired by Dodgers Stadium. The hiring process took some time, what with interviews and assessment tests and start paperwork and getting uniforms and such. And then the stadium cancelled the season for the foreseeable future. So every week, we'd get a direct deposit of $0.00 from Dodgers Stadium, so we'd know that Stephen still had a "job" he couldn't go to. So he filed for unemployment.

I don't remember when our apartment manager Marge died, but her husband Jack, who'd been the handyman for the building, became the manager by default, and then he got very very ill... in March or April of 2020. And then he died. We have no evidence, but we believe COVID got him. We were all pretty sad to lose Marge, but we were hit hard when we lost Jack. Everything was shut down! Everyone was home, all the damn time! Keeping our distance and wearing masks and stuff! Jack probably contracted it doing a small repair in someone's apartment, or working in his garage on somebody's car. He was probably ready to be reunited with Marge, but I hate to think how he probably suffered in his last days. And none of us knew.

Once I knew I wasn't going anywhere, I dyed my hair purple (temporary dye). Got new headshots in August.

Then it grew/washed out a fun streaky silver. Got new headshots in November.

Then I dyed it purple again. Then it grew/washed out a less-fun streaky silver but mostly dirty blonde. Got new headshots in February of 2021.

*short tangent* Then in April, both of us qualified to get vaccinated. So vaccinated we got. When they ask us to get boosters, we'll get 'em. #CrushThisFuckingPandemic *end tangent*

Then I went back to "my" blonde, but did not return to my pixie cut. Got new headshots in June.

... and "life" went on. We were staying abreast of developments, and that meme showed up, and I dove headfirst into online training, since in-person training was "over". And unemployment was supplemented, and extended, and supplemented again, and extended again, and so on. And there were stimulus payments. And God Knows, if there had been work for either of us to do that could have been done without risk of contracting a killer disease, we'd have gone back to work. We didn't stay unemployed because it paid more than employment. We stayed unemployed because it was all we could do.

I honestly don't even know how I managed it, but I got us out of debt, y'all. #Blessed and #IAmAMoneyMagnetThankYouThankYouThankYou ... got us out of debt, paid off the car and EVERY single credit card, and bought a lot of online trainings. Got set up in my home VO booth and connected with an author ("rights holder") on ACX and started producing his audiobooks. I set my finished hour rate, he agreed to it, and he just keeps throwing "one more" book at me. #VOActorGettingPaid #18BooksAndCounting

Still and all, our income tax return for 2020 looks like we're just out of college and newly married. The lowest income - TOGETHER - that either of us can remember making, in our personal histories of filing earned income taxes. And no real hope of an end to the pandemic in sight yet.

BUT the Dodgers returned to the stadium! And Stephen now gets more than $0.00 deposited most weeks, because he is gainfully employed (part-time, but still)!

I somehow got "found" by a manager in January of 2020, and after a longish "false start" to that relationship, something compelled me to reach out and figure out how to improve that relationship (get new headshots when you dye or otherwise change your hair). I've become a go-to actor/intern/technology goddess, and I have had more auditions since 2019 than I ever had in my career prior. No bookings yet, but I have at least two casting directors who invite me repeatedly to audition for their projects. Which means it's just a matter of time. #WhatsForMeIsForOnlyMe

... and in the last month or so, I've finally told my calling service (for background acting) that as long as auditions are self-taped and not live (whether in-person or virtual), there is no reason I can't be working on #SafeSets. Which means, because of COVID testing protocols, for the past 4 weeks, I have averaged ONE day per week where I didn't have somewhere to go for a production (which means I'm averaging 4 paid days of "work" per week). And because my hair is not a pixie cut, I'm back to working on "period" pieces, where I have fittings and personalized hairdressings and makeup not my "norm".

ALSO in the last month or two, Stephen and I decided that it was time for us to own a home. We started house-hunting in earnest, working with a realtor to see what we could likely afford, and reaching out to lenders to see what "the system" thinks we can afford. 

Unfortunately, because of that just-out-of-college level of income for 2020, we've had to put real estate on hold until we can compile all of our verifiable 2021 income. In the meantime, we stay busy with work, we certify for unemployment (because part-time income and/or dayplaying, as I'm doing, is still not fully employed, and therefore underemployed, even if either of us earns too much in a week to be eligible to collect benefits). The last known "extension" ends by September 11th, and neither of us is even in that extension, so unless the pandemic brings government back to addressing unemployment extensions or supplements again, when either of our "banks" runs out of money, so do we.

At least we're out of debt, yo. #ImNotWorried #ImNotEagerEither

And I think you're now caught up! Which means that I just have to not get so busy that I neglect you again! What shall we talk about next? Comment below!

Hello? Is this thing on?

HELLO FRIENDS! I know it's been forever since I visited my own blog or even those of the brilliant bloggers I used to read with any regularity. Easier to ask forgiveness than permission, though, amirite?

Here's the thing. I got lazy. Then the globe got shut down by a pandemic, and I was stuck in front of my computer with no inspiration (sound familiar?). Then I saw a meme that hit home - I just went looking for the image, which took me down a long rabbit hole, thanks, Google - "This ends in Death or Divorce". (I didn't find the meme, and I absolutely do not encourage you to search for it either)... and so, to avoid that ending of the pandemic for me, at least, I dove headfirst into online training. I was going to do everything possible to move my acting career forward!

I spent a good bit of money and time. Almost every class I invested in started with a freebie - a one-or two-day webinar that "wet my whistle", so to speak. Not every free webinar was worthless, although most were 100% a sales pitch. Some of the classes I paid for were worthless!

But joy of joys, I hit the jackpot when I found the free webinar series from David H. Lawrence XVII on Voiceover from Home. I got so much good info from the freebie, I enrolled in the yearlong curriculum and joined his merry tribe of VOHeroes. And once I had absorbed enough information to get started, I found an Amazon/Kindle author who wanted to turn his collection of e-books into audiobooks on Audible. I've been working with him since that humble beginning, and we are currently in BOOK #19! I can honestly say that without the VOHeroes free webinar, I wouldn't have found the paid curriculum, and I'd have suffered my way through COVID-19 cabin fever, and I'd probably be significantly less stable right now, both financially and mentally.

Not to suggest that DHLXVII (as I like to call David) saved my life, or anything. But I can say with absolute certainty that the course of my life was changed for the better when his webinar found me.

Do you, or does someone you know, have an interest in Voice Acting? Maybe you'd like to read audiobooks, like I do. Maybe you'd like to be a cartoon character. Maybe you'd like to be the "fast-talking legalese expert" at the end of car and drug commercials. Maybe you'd like to be the guy or gal who says "for English, Press 1". Maybe you have one of these, or other VO interests, but you Just Don't Know how to get started. I can help you with that. It's time for the annual free webinar series! 

I love David and the VOHeroes curriculum and platform so much that he's made me an "affiliate partner" to promote the free webinar series. Click Here to gain access to the five free, FULLY-LOADED webinars called "Mastering Home-Based Voice Over". The first lesson dropped yesterday at 10 a.m., and includes a Q&A covering questions asked by early registrants. It's SOOOO good! Access the video, take notes during it, add your questions in the comments section following the video, and then David will answer them in the next video.

The videos drop every other day over the course of nine days, so watch them when you can (you don't have to try to watch them "live" at 10 a.m. PST). Seriously, if you want to get started in VO, or you just want to get better at VO, you don't want to miss this five-video series. Did I mention it's FREE?

I know it's probably shitty of me to be gone so long and then come back all "sales pitchy". I'm sorry about that. Please forgive me. I really have been super busy, and in the coming days, I hope to be able to fill you in on all of that stuff. In the meantime, though, I didn't want you to miss out on this free webinar series if you have interest.

So, a question for you, as I used to always try to ask something at the ends of my posts: How have you been surviving the pandemic?

The Depression of an Aging Family Member

A lot of my IRL and Twitter friends know that I call Daddy every day. He lives in Central Florida, in a townhouse he and Mommy bought just a few weeks before she died, in 2006. It's on a golf course, in a gated community, in the middle of no-fucking-where. In the past few (five-ish?) years, they built a Publix just outside his closest gate, and since he's got a golf cart, he'll do his twice- or thrice-weekly grocery shopping pretty conveniently. There's also a CVS Pharmacy in that lot, and everyone who works at Publix or CVS there knows him. He has friends. There's also a liquor store in that complex, so of course, he's popular there as well.

So he's getting older, as we all do, if we're lucky. He no longer golfs or even hits balls at the driving range. He doesn't walk any distance greater than the end of his driveway, most days. He doesn't eat well unless I remind him to. He drinks. He's an alcoholic, and at 3/4 century years old, that's not changing. He's had plenty of strokes and mini-strokes, so he has one of those "call an ambulance if I fall" necklaces. I have to remind him to wear that, too.

I call him every day at 1 o'clock (or 4 p.m., his time). I ask him if he's done any stretching exercises. I ask if he's been upstairs. I ask if he's checked his mail, or taken his trash & recycle bins out (or brought them back in), or walked to the gate, or walked around the grocery store. I ask if he's done any word or number puzzles. I ask what he's eaten. I ask whether he's wearing the necklace.

Most days, in addition to getting good answers to those questions, we'll also have an interesting conversation about other human contact he's had, or upcoming visits he's looking forward to. Yesterday and the day before, he was so drunk by the time I called that I barely got answers to my questions. And then before his bedtime at 8, he'd called and left me messages, wondering why I hadn't called, and whether I was dead in a ditch or something.

*Lemme tell ya. Getting a voicemail asking if you're dead because you neglected to call is disconcerting once. TWICE, it's upsetting.*

Yesterday's voicemail came through while I was out getting my steps... buying a bottle of dark rum to replenish my homemade vanilla extract... so I called him back when I got home. I yelled at him for almost five minutes, reminding him to check his call history when he wonders if I've called; reminding him that I'm eating well and exercising and therefore strong and healthy and less likely to be unexpectedly dead than he; reminding him that when he's drunk when I call, we're unable to have good conversations.

I love my Daddy. I know he's an alcoholic, and nothing I say will change that, so I don't try to change that. Yesterday, after topping off my vanilla extract jar, I stuck the remaining rum in the freezer, because by the end of my day, I needed a drink!

Daddy is moving to Colorado in a month. He's had the last visit with his baby brother that he'll ever have; his best friends have moved to Panama; his youngest son (my baby brother) will be filling his house with small children for a few days before he moves; my sister will arrive in all that bedlam to help him pack up, and that'll be it. I'm blessed to be so busy in my career right now, but I don't have time to squeeze in one last visit. And now I'm crying.

#AgingSucks, y'all. I know, I know, it's better than the alternative.

... my phone is charging, and even though it's only 9 a.m., I think I'll call Daddy early today. I need to talk to him while he's still lucid.

Keto and The Movies

I've been *trying* to "do" Keto, which means I'm nearly eliminating carbs from my diet whilst also eating A Lot more fat, and a reasonable amount of protein.

In order to *try* to "do" Keto, I've been reading every nutrition label, for fat/protein/carb grams, not necessarily ingredients lists... oh, who am I kidding? I have been reading ingredients lists forever. That ain't stoppin'. I've also been watching a ton of YouTube videos. My favorite Keto channels are Keto Connect and Dr. Ken Berry. There are a few others, but those would be one-offs, for me, at least.

The more videos I watch, the easier I find the Keto lifestyle to adopt. Some of the Keto Connect videos are "shopping at ______" (places like Costco and Trader Joe's, and others where you might shop), as well as reviews of pre-made Keto products (which don't matter to me at all) and recipes for fat bombs. MMMMMM, #FatBombs.

So I've been shopping. I recently discovered the Costco Business Center, as you know, and I was able to make a trek there yesterday for EVERYTHING I needed, without facing a #WalkingSamplingLunch at either the Costco Warehouse or Trader Joe's. Aaaaand I arrived home with my groceries just as Stephen was arriving home from work, which meant #BONUS, I wouldn't have to carry his ten pounds of carrots or the ten pounds of ground beef upstairs, alone. (I bought more than that, but those were the two "heavy" items).

Once everything was in the apartment, I set to combining the ten pounds of ground beef with the four pounds of ground pork, so I'd have plenty of high fat ground meat... balls. Lemme tell you, combining two high-fat meats that are also very cold from the refrigerator is #NotFun. There were multiple times when I had to use my fingers as spatulas to scrape the fat off my hands. YUCK! I don't mind eating that fat. At all. But having it coat my hands and fingers like gloves was just #Gross.

In the end, because it was so gross, and not easy work, and I'd been standing relatively still for so long in the kitchen (which gave me a back twinge), I only made 32 slightly-under-4-ounce meatballs. The other half of the ground meat got moved into freezer bags and are now living in the chest freezer.

My work, complete (well, almost)

Still 2#s of pork!

Thassalotta meatballs! 

Still 5#s of boooof!

Yes, I used all of these bowls for mixing and shaping

🎶Clean up, clean up,
everybody clean up!🎶

Then I took a little break, rewatched some of the #FatBombs videos, and set to making too many of those. I had already made chocolate-peanut-butter bombs, and I wanted some savory bombs, but also maybe cheesecake?

So I made four "everything bagel on a pepperoni slice" stars, seventeen "pizza" balls, and then enough peanut-butter-cheesecake bombs to mold in my silicone tray plus a few extra balls coated in almond flour (the "crust"). I dig them all. And I've now watched enough videos and tried enough variations that I ought to be able to create my own, original bombs. #GoodTimes!

Savory

Sweeeeet! (But not tooo)

*****

Today, Stephen and I went to see Shazam! (It's great - really fun - our favorite in the recent DCEU, or possibly sharing that spot with Wonder Woman)... and I dunno how you feel about seeing films in a theater without eating popcorn, but I was torn. Popcorn, no matter how much #RealButter you have them douse it in, is really not Keto.

But last week, we went to see Dumbo, which is really very good and hit us in all of the feels, including being too scary for young kids, probably. We recommend 8 as the minimum age. But also, we went ahead and got the full large combo, as we've always done, which comes with one free refill of corn and each of the beverages. We never get the beverage refills, but we always get the corn refill. And we'd discovered (when we saw Captain Marvel) that you can get your refill immediately, before you even get your seat. So Stephen had his large popcorn without butter, and I had mine with lots. Aaaaand a large root beer.

Possibly because of changing my diet to "only eating when hungry/eating until full/intermittent fasting" (without even taking fat:protein:carb macros into account), last weekend's large corn and soda affected me physically. Badly. I felt bloated for hours. I may have been constipated. I'm pretty sure I was sluggish. It wasn't pretty, and I didn't like it. Loved the movie; hated my physical person.

So today, before we even left the apartment, I made sure to eat a coupla #FatBombs, finish my tea, and brush my teeth. Then, when we got to the concession stand, enough time had passed for me to feel satiated. I asked if they had unsweetened soda. The dude wasn't sure that I was asking for soda water, but when he confirmed that they did, in fact, have that, he offered me the complimentary cup. Perfect. SMALL, but enough. So Stephen got a medium combo for himself, and we went in and enjoyed the hell outta the movie. Shazam! (in case you forgot)

I never once felt like stealing a kernel! And when the movie was over, I'd sipped more of my soda water than I ever really drink of my root beer, so I needed to empty my bladder before walking home. By the time we arrived here, I was ready to eat again, so YAY! Coupla slices of bacon, a crumbled meatball, some garlic spread, some ricotta, a little yellow squash and baby bell pepper, a lot of fresh spinach and basil, a handfull of black olives, some turmeric and paprika. Amazing.

I ate half of what I prepared. This is for the next time I'm hungry, I 'spose

I feel good, and I'm learning. Who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks?

Have YOU tried a new-for-you lifestyle change that you struggled with for awhile but eventually got the hang of? /struggled with long enough to give up? /are struggling with NOW? Hit me up in the comments below! Let's chat about it!

Walking to Costco

Yes, I got my bespoke orthotic insoles. Yes, I got not one but TWO new pairs of New Balance walking shoes, with the removable insoles and the untwistable heelcups (unless you're a serious weightlifter or something and not an "average" joe, like I am). Yes, my Achilles Tendonitis has officially healed, and I'm back to walking at least 5,000 steps a day, at a fairly quick pace (3 - 3.5 mph, if I'm alone).

Way back when, when we used to live in Burbank, I would occasionally (to somewhat frequently?) decide to walk to my nearby Costco Warehouse. It wasn't a huge great distance, but it was far enough that if I were going to shop (and not just attend my #WalkingSamplingLunch), I would plan to buy one thing at most, since I'd have to carry it home in my arms. So, ya know, a box of granola bars or maybe a coupla loaves of bread). Once we moved back to North Hollywood, that Costco Warehouse became a driving destination.

One day a week or more ago, I had no events or obligations on my day, and I discovered that the Costco Business Center is within walking distance (~5k steps in each direction). I knew that my favorite cases of V-8 that I used to get at the Burbank Costco Warehouse was supposedly still available at the Business Center, but I'd never looked into it, #BecauseLazy. But on this particular day, I figured I'd check it out, and get some steps in, besides. I did not know before setting out exactly how far away it was, and if I couldn't visibly see it by the time I hit 4500 steps, I had every intention of just turning around and going home. #BecauseLazy

So I walked up the one major street to the other major street, having to walk down a hill and then up again because of a railroad "tunnel"... deciding to choose a different route home due to that downhill/uphill dealio (#BecauseLazy)... and when I hit 4500 steps, I opened the Waze app in my phone, which told me I was .2 miles away, even though I couldn't yet see the warehouse. I continued on that coupla blocks, and found wonder and joy inside.

* I know that there are plenty of people for whom Costco shopping is an anxiety trigger. I am not one of those people, as you probably understand if you've read me much. I love shopping at Costco. At the Warehouse, I always do one lap of #WalkingSamplingLunch before I even bother getting a shopping cart! So I really didn't know what to expect at the Business Center. It did not disappoint. *

I came home that day to inform Stephen that we really needed to start shopping at both the Business Center and the Warehouse. The Warehouse has a Pharmacy, and Optical center, a Tire Center and gas station, and things that people need or want for themselves, like dog beds and cat trees, pillows and mattresses, clothing and books, jewelry and furniture, seafood and booze, and a #WalkingSamplingLunch. The Business Center is like a GIANT OfficeAndRestaurant Supply store. Yes, stuff is in bulk, or at least LARGER. Like, I own an immersion blender. It's a stick that fits into a cup. The immersion blender they sell at the Business Center is the size of a jackhammer. It fits into a cauldron. This is one example of the equipment they carry.

I was unable to truly impress Stephen with the wonder and joy of the Business Center until today, however. After we'd completed some standard-for-us morning stuff, like breakfast and yoga and internetting, he asked me, ever so casually, whether I had anywhere in particular I wanted to walk today. My response was no, just that I did want to get a walk in. As he had nowhere in particular to head, either, he agreed to give the long 10k round-trip a shot.

I showed him the immersion blender right away. At that point, he had an idea of what he'd be seeing. We walked through most of the store, not actually shopping, but making mental shopping lists. As we were leaving, he stopped to get the buck-fiddy hot dog and soda combo, and the nonfat yogurt fruit parfait. I did not eat, because I'm currently doing #Keto4Real, which is to say, I'm paying closer attention to what I eat and when, and frankly, having fasted yesterday because I wasn't hungry all day, it was very easy to rely on my breakfast this morning for the fuel to get me home, rather than just eating because it was "meal time" and there was food available. I'm honestly loving the intermittent fasting part of Keto. I only eat when I'm hungry, and I eat until I'm nearly full. It's great. Stephen, however, possibly due to the lack of a #WalkingSamplingLunch, and possibly due to not having had anything but coffee for breakfast, and possibly due to the energy expended getting there, ate the hot dog so quickly that I jokingly said, "I thought you ordered a hot dog" - to which he replied "nope, just sugarwater and sugarcream".

That was enough fuel to get him home; we actually walked quicker home than we had out. And I think we both felt satisfied or proud, maybe? that the walk to the Costco Business Center is worthwhile, especially if we just plan ahead of time to buy one small thing that we can't get elsewhere. If I ever have need for a jackhammer-sized immersion blender, I promise you that I won't walk to pick it up!

Do YOU have a favorite store that you love walking to? Do you have to limit your shopping when you're on foot, or do you take bags or a cart with you so you can stock up?

Blargh. It's already the 18th day of the new year!

As if "time" were a real thing, or "years" or "dates". I'm kicking myself because I haven't blogged since the 30th of December, or since the 364th day of the "old" year. Like it matters, in the grand scheme of life, how often you "hear" from me (or not).

I have been busy. I dunno why I'm kicking myself for not posting ideas I'm kicking around. #GratefulToBeBusy #BlessedWithWork #NoSADSoFar #WooHoooo #Hashtags

It's been Awards Season(TM), and you're probably aware that I've been receiving

1. invitations to screenings
2. physical screeners in the snail mail
3. access to streaming screeners online

so of course, I've been watching and absorbing and enjoying all the movies and television/internet shows. I've also been back at my crocheting. I have been busy, creating tons* of beanies, mittens, and Moebius scarflets, as well as a pair of fingerless gloves for my mail carrier, PitBull.

*not LITERAL tons, just, ya know, a "shit ton" or possibly more than that, like maybe a "fuck tonne"

 I mailed out 22 items for family.

Bill "cheated" - opening the gift early, so he could wrap for the boys. I'm okay with that. ;)

I filmed a webseries of crocheting and movie reviews with a friend. I attended classes, at the SAG-AFTRA Conservatory and online and elsewhere. And I managed to have some days on set, and days where I walked again, and got groceries shopped for, and hung out with friends.

But I have, once again, neglected my blogging. I'm sorry. Forgive me?

Oh, yeah. Also, I need help choosing a name for my personal website. It will be a site to host my "business" of acting and other film/television production "stuff" (headshots, resumes, voice clips, demo reels, that web-series, and anything else pertaining to ME in the world of show biz). I looked into "emelle dot com" but that one got snagged when domains were first available for snagging. A broker called me the other day to tell me that the "owner" was willing to sell me that domain for, oh, say, SIX THOUSAND DOLLARS? Sheesh. No. #FuckYouVeryMuch, "owner" of "my" domain.

So I'm tossing around "therealemelle", "realemelle", and "the-real-emelle" dot com. I know that most of my "audience" will not have to type it out or fear getting it wrong, but there are a BUNCH of "e"s in any of those combos, so I want it to be fairly intuitive, which is why I'm considering hyphens. I've been told by a few beta-testers that hyphens are the only phone-friendly appropriate punctuation, and I get that anyone I send to my site via phone will appreciate not having to hunt for the underscore. What are your thoughts? IF you were to "check me out" without a hyperlink, which address makes the most sense to you?

Once I've bought the domain, I'm going to need help building the site, too. I'm not planning on investing in additional webhosting with a template, unless y'all tell me that I have to, because there's no other way for a semi-Luddite to do it. And frankly, if that IS the way, what company will give me the best value for hosting/building? Yes, I get that it's an investment in my career. No, I do not want to spend thousands of dollars, particularly when right now, I have mediocre headshots and an OLD resume (remember, I've been working in the background for fifteen years). I'm emotionally ready (and trained, so mentally ready, as well) to jump into the foreground, but I just don't have the materials necessary to build a kick-ass site.

Ennyhoo, that's where I am these days. Too many things on my plate to be able to keep up with blogging or blog-reading. At least the cats are healthy. Oh, and, I had to disassemble my keyboard to clean it (sticky keys and soooo much cat hair!) - when I put it back together, I swapped two keys, which only matters if I actually LOOK for the letter I need. Can you spot my mistake?

Christmas is Over. Is it Easter yet?

As you may remember, for many years after Mommy died, I didn't have much Christmas Spirit. I mean, I would break out my Santa hat and ornament earrings, and start wearing all that shit, including my jingle ball necklace, starting on December 1st. But every year, that was the extent of my Christmas Spirit.

When I married Stephen, we would buy a little potted rosemary "tree" each year, which he would decorate with lights and ornaments, and he'd hang lights and garlands around the living room, and the place would look festive. I mostly didn't help with the decorating. He mostly didn't need help, and he always "got it" that I just wasn't emotionally in a place where I needed to decorate. I appreciated it being done, but I think not having it would have been fine, too. I dunno. It was always his "thing".

When we moved to the wrong-for-us coast, we acquired a fake Christmas tree, so no more rosemary "trees". It's probably for the best, at least for the rosemary. We never could keep those little things alive a full year. I'm #Grateful that Lowe's always took the poor, pathetic dead things back when we bought a new one. But once we got the fake one from his dad's house, we stopped buying and killing rosemary.

Two years ago*, I put up the tree and decorated it. He didn't ask me to, but he was pleasantly surprised that I had done it. There were still garlands and lights and other things he could do, so the apartment was festive enough. And I personally had some Spirit. *I really thought that this happened last year, not two years ago. Apparently, last year, I was fighting SAD again. #DepressionLies

Last year, we were back to Stephen doing it all. He didn't need my help, so he did it all on his own. This year, I probably offered to help, but by not jumping up into it, he again did it all on his own. But possibly because this year he's an actual orphan,  he ran out of steam after hanging all the lights and garlands and getting the tree up and lit. I wore my Santa hat, ornament earrings, jingle ball and socks once or twice this month. We spent the whole month of December with a box or two of ornaments under the tree, waiting to be put up. Never happened.

Until today, when Stephen took down all of the decorations and packed them away. The ornaments have been put up, if where they are stored until next year is elevated in any way. Christmas is over. He's even sweeping, vacuuming, and mopping the kitchen floor (not that our fake tree sheds needles or anything, but the floor needed the mopping). He's a hero, kids.

So, since I have spent practically every day of this cool-weather season crocheting gifts for family and friends, including after I mailed out the family gifts, I've gone back to Jo-Ann for more yarns. They've got the bright pastels out, so I guess I'm working on Easter eggs... maybe Easter baskets? Hmm... I do have a pattern for some "catch-all" crocheted basket thingies. I guess I know what to start on next! ... besides blogging, reviewing movies for you, ramping my acting career into a higher gear, and loving on the cats, of course.

How have YOUR holidays been? Looking toward 2019 with eagerness, or dread? Let's talk about that!

Pride 2018

I have a confession, kids.

I don't really know how to be an activist. Nor a feminist. Nor any "ist", if I'm truly honest.

I marched in the first Women's March. I participated in a GLOBAL event that brought many issues to light, not the least of which was the fact that a morally bankrupt anti-everything dolt had somehow "won" the role of President of the United States of America, and we were in for a world of trouble because of it.

It felt good to surround myself with people from all walks of life, marching for equality. I didn't stick around for any of the speeches. Maybe that makes me a "bad" activist. Or a non-activist. I was a participant for a few hours, and then I went home and taught myself how to crochet a

WIP

Pussy Hat. Activism done. I guess.

I retweet a lot, because I don't really know how to activism beyond my phone. I'm supportive of my friends in #TheBloggessTribe who suffer from all manner of mental illness but primarily Depression and Anxiety. I retweet articles about mental illness. I'm upset about #CadetBoneSpurs, so I retweet about the bullshit he's making happen. I retweet about #GOPCorruption, because #DOLT45 is absolutely being empowered in his bullshit by the extremely weak-willed right-wing Congress and Senate.

I'm also a cishet white woman, which puts me only one "degree" away from membership in the privileged group (cishet white men). I do know what #WhitePrivilege is. So I'm not exactly being "oppressed". But I see the oppression that my friends or acquaintances feel, and I want to support them. I want to be an ally.

I want to do more, but I don't know how. Or maybe I'm too lazy. <== That is probably the actual truth. I'm just too damn lazy to do more.

panoramic view of our gathering point, where we waited 1.5 hours

But marching with comrades-in-arms feels good. So yesterday, I walked with a group of 20-30 members of the actors' union, SAG-AFTRA, in the Los Angeles Pride Parade.

once actually IN the parade, our view (yes, that's a giant disco ball)

parade watchers, a sample

yes, there were plenty of men in drag. of course!

somewhere ahead of us was a confetti cannon

It was a PARADE, not a MARCH. It was a celebration for the LGBTQ+ community. I'm not a member of that community, but walking the parade route with my union mates, I allied myself with the community, and I probably looked like I'm somewhere in the LGBTQ+ spectrum. Fairly certain that at least one person there thought I was a lesbian or bisexual. I'm okay with that. Think what you want. #Ally

cloud of confetti, dead center

confetti in the air is HARD to catch!

glitter me this

I have another confession. I don't know the difference between "gay" and "queer", nor do I have a clue about "pan" or "ace" or any of the other pluses. Not that it matters. Not that I need to know. Unless you are one of the pluses and want me to know. In which case, I'm willing to learn, if you're willing to educate me.

Yesterday was exhausting. It was fun and fulfilling and draining and hot and sweaty and glittery. I'm #ProudToBeAnAlly.

my "crown"... literally, glitter on the crown of my head! (this is today, btw)

I'm also still spreading glitter throughout our apartment. It will probably never leave.

Do/did YOU participate in any #Pride2018 events?

Is it possible to "cure" Depression?

As you may know, I have somehow managed to survive this past "winter" without any major or even minor-but-noticeable bouts of Depression. Mommy's Sadiversary passed mostly unnoticed. I mean, at some point, I did remember, but it's not like I was particularly morose. Stephen's Dad's Sadiversary passed, and I honestly don't remember if either one of us commented on it at all. I skipped Thanksgiving; Christmas was whatever; Mommy's birthday passed much like her Sadiversary. New Year's Eve/Day were "meh". We ALWAYS ignore Valentine's Day, because #StupidHallmarkHolidaysAreStupidHallmarkHolidays HashtagWhateverThatBritishDudeOnWhatcultureSaysForWankersAndThenRepeatsForWankers

The Ides of March... Saint Patrick's Day... Easter... Arbor Day?... Mother's Day... #MayTheFourthBeWithYou (Star Wars Day)... #AndAlsoWithYou (Standard Presbyterian Response Day)... Cinco de Mayo... essentially SPRING! and no S.A.D. (Seasonal Affective Disorder, a.k.a. Winter Depression)

Granted, I did my best to stay busy. I was on set as much as possible, but when am I not on set "as much as possible"? I did a lot of volunteering at the union offices. I went to a lot more meetings and seminars and whatnot (including the health fair) being hosted by the union and/or the Foundation. I've gotten involved, yo.

I bought VO equipment and have been using it (a little; probably not "enough"). I'm reading books about VO that I've checked out from the Lab's library. I seem to be the only one who even knows they exist for lending. I've talked about my "career" with whomever has any insight, and I've discovered that I'm probably at a crossroads of sorts. Like, I KNOW that I need to "pick" some direction and then FOCUS. But it's hard! There are so many cool things I could be good at, in this industry! There are a couple of seminars that I Must Take to help me with that, but I haven't seen any openings listed in awhile. And, with the way my career has ebbed and flowed, chances are really good that when they do come around again, I'll be too busy! Which is, of course, not a bad thing.

But. Last night, while volunteering for the VO Lab's Orientation session, I discovered a feeling I haven't felt in a really long time.

HAPPINESS.

I felt genuinely happy, y'all. My birthday is coming up, and I'd had my standard (getting old) "hitch in my giddy-up" pretty much All Day. When one decides to start utilizing the VO Lab, one must attend ONE Orientation. Because of my volunteering, last night was my FOURTH. So what? Big deal. I was smiling, grinning, laughing, dancing, playing as I greeted all of those newbies, and I felt 100% like my old (young) self. HAPPY.

And it rolled over into today, too! I worked a commercial at the beginning of the month, and my paycheck still hadn't reached my mailbox by this morning. So I had to call, y'all. The payroll company is in CHICAGO. The CSR I reached is in Kentucky. I hate making these "where my money at, ASSHOLE?" kinds of calls. Everyone hates making them. We shouldn't have to make them!

But I did it. And I was courteous, but direct. Charles was able to track my check, which had been cut ON TIME but mailed to our old address in Burbank, because for Some Stupid Reason, Payroll Companies Don't Look At Your Brand New Timecard Or W-4 Or I-9, they just figure nobody ever moves. It's been SIX years since I worked for this payroll company. Or, to be Even More Accurate, six years ago, I worked for a payroll company that has since been bought out by the current one. Meaning, this particular payroll company should not have had ANY of my previous data "on file".

Now, did I cuss Charles out? No, I Did Not. Did I remember that none of this was his fault, and say so? Yes, I Did. Did I make it so clear that I was grateful for his help that he actually LAUGHED on our phone call? Yes, as a matter of fact, I DID THAT, TOO.

*** who the fuck is this person? ***

I vaguely remember happiness, y'all. I remember joy. I remember playing and laughing and singing and dancing just because. This is where I am today. I like it. I doubt my Depression is gone for good, but boy, do I like me TODAY. I like Happiness.

I wish for you all the happiness or joy or freedom from pain you can muster. Please join me in this feeling of good. And let me know below what's up with you! I miss our give-and-take! Our repartee! Our interaction! Comment, y'all! And thank you in advance. :D

So much going on with me these days, I Can't Even

First of all, when did "I Can't Even" get added to our normal, everyday verbiage? Was it when the Dumpster Fire was elected? Maybe. I think that's when I started using it.

Whatever. Lemme explain my title.

I've been a background actor for many years now. You know this. I've paid a monthly fee for a service that manages my calendar and helps me book work via their connections with casting. In December, the service I was using dropped the ball Big Time and caused me to be suspended for a month from the one casting company that has 80% of the jobs, so I fired them and re-upped with a service I'd used many years ago.

Since our return from North Carolina in July of 2014, the service that dropped the ball found work for me a total of 4 days in 2014, 28 days in 2015 (counting multiple "recalls" on shows like the muppets), 30 days in 2016 (again, many of these were "recalls", which means the service just managed my schedule once I was booked on the first day), and 36 days in 2017. That's fewer than one booking a week, for three-and-a-half years. And I was paying them to get me booked. Only once in that 3.5 years did I get a commercial, which pays a higher rate than television/film.

In 2014, I got to be the Script Supervisor for "Fragile Storm". That was an amazing film, and quite possibly the highlight of that year for me. In 2015, I reception'ed at Arthur Murray and guided tours at Warner Bros. - Warner Bros. was the highlight of 2015 (but also the muppets, because #DuhItsTheMuppets). 2016 was more Warner Bros. until that temp assignment ended #SadFace, and then a little more Scripty work, like on the "Magic FunHouse" set. At the time, I guess Magic FunHouse qualified as my highlight, but when I didn't book the second season, my ego took a hit. I just Did Not work enough in 2017, so I volunteered as an AD on a two-week shoot, and got my part-time retail gig at the pet supply store. I booked a recall gig as a hipster tech employee on a fun show, which would have been the highlight of 2017 if it hadn't been the show that my service fucked my life over with.

*** switched gears by re-hiring the older service. So far, in 2018, my new service has placed me on set 20 days. Three of those days, I've been a stand-in (which is a higher base than background). Two of those days have been on commercials. I'm on hold for some work on Tuesday. I'm averaging better than one day per week, and often those days are longer than 8 hours, and there are "bumps" involved, like wardrobe allowances, working in smoke, mileage reimbursements or meal penalties. Through my own connections, I booked a week as a Craft Services person and two days as an AD. I'm no longer working off-set, except for the monthly bookkeeping gig I do. I haven't hit my normal SAD or any other Depression. Stephen has noticed that my outlook is better since returning to the better service. #Grateful #WorkIsGoodForMyMentalHealth

I feel good. I'm volunteering a lot at the SAG-AFTRA offices, for screenings and such. I'm attending screenings off-site (last night, Netflix hosted a screening/q&a/reception for Stranger Things 2. It was awesome). I'm attending membership meetings and health fairs. I'm making use of the services my union and the Foundation have to offer. I'm trying to hit 5000 steps a day, most days, and on some days, I hit 10k without even trying. The furbabies are being super-affectionate of late, and my breathing is mostly in check. And I feel good!

Now I just need to get PAID. ... and return to a more-regular blogging schedule, of course. #IDoThisForYou #ButAlsoForMe

What have you been up to? What would you like to see here? Do I need to return to reviewing stuff? I've SEEN soooooo many shows & films since my last review.

What Have You (I) Done For Me Lately? Oooh, ooohooh, oooh, Yeah!

No, I don't expect you to have done anything for me lately. I DO expect ME to have done stuff for me lately.

In my latest blog-reading ==>,
I've found that some of the writers are talking about their penchant for people-pleasing, to the detriment of self-care. You should know the following about me already, but just in case you don't,

• I have reached the point in my life where I have zero fucks to give regarding someone else's requests, unless the fulfillment of them will ultimately please me, too.

This is not to say that I am uncaring, or heartless, or selfish. If your request of me is something related to work that I'm already doing for you, I'm not going to neglect to do my job simply because a specific task would be unpleasant.

I'm talking about putting myself in situations with people I don't know very well, offering to be helpful, and then being asked to do things that are completely beyond my scope. If I haven't already expressed at least a vague interest in this "new" thing, why would you think that I'll succeed in my first attempt? When I do anything "new", I like to get enough practice in before doing it for someone else, because I JUDGE MYSELF, and even if it's not a competition, I still want to "win".

• Don't even get me started on "competitions"

So, if you are close enough in my circle that you care about my feelings and you know I care about yours, you can be damn sure I'm going to give your request careful consideration, and if I choose to attempt whatever it is, I'm going to do my absolute best to not let you down. But I might just say "no". Because if, after careful consideration, I don't see myself succeeding, I know that my own judgment of myself will be bad enough that I just don't want to face it. It may be selfish of me to refuse you. But if you care about me at all, then you'll recognize that I'm not refusing out of stubbornness or meanness. It's self-care. I'm taking care of myself.

And if the thing you're requesting of me is something you already love doing, then why not a) do it yourself, or b) join me/teach me the task? If your request is to get me to love it as much as you do, why not share your enthusiasm? So that if I do end up loving the thing as much as you do, then we leave the whole situation with a new commonality?

If you are not close enough in my circle to care about my feelings and/or you don't think I care about yours, then just don't even try. My need to feel good about myself does not extend to trying to impress you. I have zero fucks to give to "impressing" anyone.

All this, just because some of the bloggers I read ==>

have recently expressed being people-pleasers, and how it's messing with their anxiety or whatever, when the people aren't pleased, or when the situation/task isn't personally pleasing for them. The more we "broken"* people remember to stand up for our own feelings, the better we'll be about self-care... and the more we can try new things, if asked with the right motivation... and the more we will expand our horizons.

*"broken" can mean Depressed, Anxious, Bi-Polar, "On the Spectrum", Noisy, Quiet, Extroverted, Introverted, Short, Tall, Fat, Skinny, NORMAL. Because there is no "normal". If you somehow don't identify as "broken", then I applaud you. If you do identify as "broken", then please be sure to exercise some self-care. Whatever that means for you.

I'm in the middle of doing some work. There's self-improvement/growth here; there's self-care here; there's no room for loathing or judgment. I'll try to keep you posted on my accomplishments, as I reach certain milestones. In the meantime, I'll just keep singing. Hit it, Janet!

Did you know you could be PRODUCTIVE even on "just farting around" days?

I've only just fired the old service and signed up for the new one, so I had no expectations I'd be working today. I will have my weekend pet supply store days, and then, next Wednesday, I'll finish up my training there, so my weekday schedule is mostly open for industry gigs. And I'll probably order the mic and headphones soon, so that'll give me another industry kick-in-the-pants boost.

But what to do on days like today, when nothing's actually scheduled?

Go adventuring with your boss-lady, of course!

Normally, she'll come to me and park in our garage, and then the two of us will venture out to Costco or IKEA, and eventually, a slice of pie and a cuppa. Today, we didn't want to spend much money, because I'd paid for a new camera for her, and she wanted to focus her fundage on repaying me, so she could start using it.

So when she got here, we decided to take the camera out for a little walk. We found lots of interesting things to photograph, and she was really enjoying her compositions. We knew we'd need to swing by her bank, and my phone told me it was only a coupla miles away, so we decided to just walk and take more pictures.

By the time we reached the bank, the beverages we'd consumed at the start of our adventure were ready to flush, so we packed the camera up and started looking for facilities. Took care of that business, and then she took care of her banking business, and for the walk home, we detoured into the nearby electronics store, for shits and giggles.

By the time we were back to the apartment, we'd decided we were too hot and sweaty to detour via Republic of Pie. We got in, cooled off, took my car to my bank and a local grocer (she needed walnuts IN THE SHELL for her birds), and once parked, walked over to Pie. The sun was no longer burny and directly overhead, so at that point, I was actually getting cold. So we enjoyed our warm beverages, walked back to where I'd parked, and came back home.

Remember when I said I'm going to try to walk 5k steps a day again? Did you NOT read yesterday's post? Sheesh! Keep up!

Three Good Things:

1. the camera is amazing, and just "shits and giggles" pics are really phenomenal. I'm so happy and grateful to have had the available credit to be able to cover the cost, as a loan. She loves it, and I love my contribution to her creative spark.
2. we walked in excess of 17k steps today! >7.5 miles covered on foot! I am so happy and grateful to have had a good "breathing" day, giving me the strength to cover so much ground on foot. I tripled a goal!
3. we spent very little money today, and we're both tired enough to sleep early. I am so happy and grateful for all the little things I was able to manifest in my life today. I was productive, just farting around!

Are you able to find productive ways of farting around? Or do you have so little downtime that you just relish in non-productive farting around days (I'm not judging you - I have too much downtime, as you know)? Tell me!

Last week, today

I've been seeing a lot of movies and television shows lately. I'm a paid-up member of my actors' union, SAG-AFTRA, as well as being a member and volunteer for the SAG-AFTRA Foundation. Every year I pay my dues in a timely manner, I begin receiving screener DVD's in the mail around January. These are films that the SAG Awards Nominating Committee believes deserve acting awards. The SAG Awards happen about a month or so (?) before the Oscars.

Prior to the arrival of screeners, I get invitations to see stuff on a big screen. If I'm not gainfully employed, I either volunteer to work those screenings, or RSVP to attend. Sometimes, I get to take a guest. Sometimes, Stephen gets to see big movies for free with me.

Last year, I screened Lion (my pick for Best Picture, had I been able to vote), Hacksaw Ridge, This Is Us (a television show you should definitely be watching), The Crown (another amazing TV show), and a plethora of other stuff that I can't remember well enough to name right now. I did review Every Single Thing I screened last year, so dip into my archives to find those (I think "review" is a decent search term, and then just look for stuff in the winter of last year). Stephen attended La La Land with me (he loved it, I did NOT), and Arrival (both of us were blown away).

This year, I've already seen a lot to tell you about. I've been amiss from reviewing anything for you, and I may have to do a little research to review exactly everything that I've seen, but for now, I'll just say this: I haven't yet seen my pick for Best Picture. I will tell you a little about four of the flicks I've seen recently, and you can go from there.

On Friday, I saw Phantom Thread. I was volunteering to work this event, since it was screening in the worst screening room in town. That way, I got to see it, choose my own seat, and not wait in a line to check in (yes, there is a method to my madness). It stars Daniel Day Lewis, and the bulk of the questions from the audience for the LEAD actor in the film, Vicky Krieps (she got top billing, not DDL), pertained to "what did you learn from the Master, THE GOD OF ACTING, DDL?"
    * lemme tell ya; if you're ever in a q&a audience with the top-billed actor in a show, it's just RUDE to ask this type of question. It's essentially gaslighting, kids. You're saying she didn't deserve the role until after she got to work with the person who isn't here for your questions. She did a fine job, on her own, by the way.*
I did not care for this film. I'm afraid it's going to get lots of critical attention, though, because of DDL, who is, in my opinion, the only actor who could take on the role of Reynolds Woodcock so convincingly. However, Reynolds Woodcock, as written, performed, and directed in this piece, is a complete and utter shitbag. I couldn't figure out what the audience was laughing about. This film is not funny. It takes a hard subject matter and makes it even harder. Woodcock is completely unsympathetic. He's a talented egomaniac. A narcissist. Abusive and evasive, and in a rather strange relationship with his sister, who is only vaguely likeable. Alma, the role inhabited by Krieps, is a naive girl who grows into a bit of strength, but we don't really root for her. We pity her. We want her to escape.
I wanted to escape. I wanted the film to be over, so I could get away from my discomfort. When it finally was, I felt pity for Ms. Krieps, but I did not stay to see if the DDL questions got addressed. My ranking: only see this film if you are completely infatuated with DDL and want to see him play an irredeemable narcissist. OH, also, the score was entirely too strong throughout. Why?

On Thursday, I was volunteering for the screening of Pirates of Somalia. If you saw Captain Phillips, then you're already familiar with Pirates, sort of. The entirety of CP takes place as a "moment" in PoS. Also, one of the lead pirates in CP is portrayed by an actor who plays the lead translator in PoS. Confused yet? Sorry. Follow the links ^.
Ennyhoo, this film is based on the book that tells the true story of the actual events in the life of Jay Bahadur, played with great bravado by Evan Peters, who you may remember from American Horror Story, or possibly as the X-Men recruit Quicksilver. It's a slice of life, and very funny, and also a little edge-of-your-seat. I don't know that it'll win any awards (it's possible), but it's Worth Your Time to See.

My only problem with that screening on Thursday is that I was booked to work on my "recall" show, but I didn't know it. I'd gotten a "checking your availability" text message from Central on Wednesday, applied in the affirmative, and received the "we got your 'yes' but you're Not Yet Booked" response. Then I never got an email, text, or phone call from my service. Then, while I was working the door at 1:30, I noticed I'd missed a call from Central at 1:17, asking where I was, and was I going to make it? My call time was 12:30. WHAT? I could have been WORKING today? On Set? For Money and Fame and Glory? #ShitFuckShitDamnFuckityFuckFuckFuck!!! I called Central back to let them know where I was, and that I was more than willing to head to set if they needed me. I called my service to ask what the fuck had happened, and to let them know where I was, and that I was more than willing to head to set if they needed me. I sent an email to the specific casting director to let him know that I hadn't gotten the details, but also where I was, and that I was more than willing to head to set if they needed me. Then I went back to volunteering, until I heard anything further. Got a reply from the casting director, saying he was trying to work it out with my service, but that they didn't need me. Got a phone call, vibrating, during the film, from an unknown-to-me number, which I ignored. Got another immediate phone call from that same number, so I left the screening room to take the call. It was my service, on a mobile phone, away from the office, trying to place all the blame on me ("it's on your calendar! I sent the notices! It doesn't post to the calendar until we hit 'send'! It's on your calendar!" etc.). Meanwhile, I'm trying to explain that Just Because You Sent It Doesn't Mean I Received It, and When You Didn't Get A Confirmation From Me, #WhyTheFuckDidn'tYouCallToConfirmLikeYouALWAYSFuckingDo? /end rant

Ennyhoo, what I got to see of Pirates of Somalia (the bulk of the film, minus about ten minutes), was totally worth it. And the Q&A was with the lead Somali translator, Barkhad Abdi, and the director. Even though the film was not shot in Somalia, for #reasons, it was cast with a very large number of Somalian refugees, who were all credited for their roles, even background roles, with "refugee since (year)" included to the right of their names. #CallMeImpressed

Thursday night, I went to a screening of Last Flag Flying. Bryan Cranston did the Q&A that followed, and he was very "there". He knew that the audience was mostly composed of actors, so he talked a lot of actor-to-actor. I enjoyed him more than the movie he was promoting. Not that there's anything inherently wrong with the film. It was just a "chick flick" disguised as a macho-man film. What I mean by that is that there were almost zero women even in the film, but it spent the bulk of the 2 hours talking about feelings. Cranston and Fishburne are Vietnam Vet Marines, retired into their old-guy lives; Carell is their Navy Corpsman, whose Marine son has died in Baghdad. Carell collects his old vet buddies in the hopes that they'll help him collect his son's remains. So the film is a road-trip flick. Buddy-buddy, but for old guys. There's no action here. There's no gunplay. There might be one good pyro scene, maybe? but I don't really remember, because I was bored. They all have different baggage to lug around and cart out and talk about. Cranston's still a wild man, to a degree, a #RebelINSearchOfACause. Carell's the mourning dad. Fishburne is REFORMED; he's a preacher who just wants to get back to his flock, but of course, he gets to continue doing his job on Carell's behalf. It's just all Very Boring. Again, I'm afraid it's going to get some critical attention, but I wouldn't waste my time, if I were you.

On MONDAY (of last week, yes, I know!), I saw I, Tonya. Kids, if you want to #LaughYourAssOff, you need to see this film. I have no idea whether it will gain any critical attention. I seriously doubt it will be up for Best Picture. But, OMG, the performances! The characters (real people from a real moment in our recent history)! The direction and the script! OMG!

Stephen and I had seen a trailer for this at something we'd gone to a theater and paid to see (I honestly have seen too many movies lately to remember what I've paid for). We laughed during the trailer. If you click the link above, you can watch a trailer, and maybe laugh during it, too. All I know is that the events of the day were news. Weird news, sure. But it's just not a fun period of time, or at least there's no fun in the specific event of bashing the knee(s?) of a competitive figure skater, Nancy Kerrigan. So, how is this movie so awesome? Well, I learned at the Q&A with the top four cast, writer, and director, there is actual "documentary" footage of the four major players in the events, and the script was based pretty closely on that footage. NONE of the major players tells the same story! So, of course, the film follows EVERY point of view, to allow the audience to make their own decisions about any particular character's "truth". And did I mention? This shit is FUNNY. Seriously, if you are even remotely familiar with the events, or even remotely a fan of Margot Robbie, Sebastian Stan, or #OMGTheBest Allison Janney, then THIS FILM IS A MUST-SEE.

I think that's enough for now, right? I've got plenty more that I really need to review for ya. I also desperately need to find myself some work, trim nails on the furbabies, jump back into crocheting, buy Christmas gifts for the nieces and nephews, jump back into letter-writing and/or sending out some Christmas cards in general, and, ya know, shop/cook/launder etc. to keep running my half of the household, at least.

How was your week?