Adulting, Part the First

I want to talk about the stuff you deal with as you grow older. On my birthday this year, I received notification in the mail that I was once again eligible for SAG-AFTRA health insurance. It has/d been a decade since I last had SAG health insurance, and in that ten years, I haven’t been unwell or unhealthy, but I have missed having the fantastic coverage that my union provides. When I was first deemed ineligible, it was because we still had two actors’ unions, so I was dividing my work time between them, and not earning enough money or days on set with either one to be eligible. In the last ten years, we’ve merged not only the two unions, but also, recently, the health plans. YAY.

So I got my eligibility notification on my birthday in June. #HappyBirthdayToMe! I completed my paperwork as soon as I could and paid my first quarter’s premium so I could start using the insurance in July. I’m not unwell or unhealthy, I remind you. But when you finally have good health insurance again after so long, you make an appointment for a wellness exam. For a woman over 40, that means a PAP smear, labwork, and mammogram. For Stephen, it means... what? I don’t even know. Vitals? A prostate exam? Anything else? I doubt it.

Also, for everyone over 50, it means a colonoscopy.

Back in 2017, I had insurance through Kaiser. It wasn’t bad coverage, by any stretch of the imagination. But for whatever reason, I lost my eligibility for that as well, and when they “prescribed” a colonoscopy back then, I got as far as picking up my Rx for Gavilyte and scheduling the procedure ... but then I cancelled the procedure, and just stored that big ol’ bottle of powder for... awhile.

Fast-forward to July of this year. I had my PAP and all my bloodwork. I got referrals for dermatology (per my new Primary Care Physician, I “have a lot of moles”. Yes, I do. So what?), mammography, and that dreaded colonoscopy. I’m supposed to follow up with each doc to schedule the necessary whatnot.

The colon doc’s office didn’t wait. They called ME. They tricked me into a consultation, saying there was a “chance” I might not even need one, if I wasn’t in any of the risk groups. Guess what? I’m over 50. That’s a risk group. So they scheduled me for the dreaded procedure for Monday of this past week, and sent me home from the consultation with a plethora of “pre-op” instructions. Stop taking all NSAIDS five days before; eat low-fiber foods (meaning NO nuts or seeds) 3 days before; go on a clear liquid diet plus colon prep 1 day before. Stay hydrated. Dress warmly for the procedure. Buy the new Rx for colon prep. Etc.

I followed “the rules” pretty closely. My original appointment was set for 1 p.m., but that got pulled in earlier to 12:15 before I was completely aware of the change, so my “day before” wasn’t quite a 24-hour period. It was close, though. I went to buy the new Rx, just in case it was “easier” than the Gavilyte I already had, and also just in case the pharmacy would buy the Gavilyte back (it had another year or two before it “expired””, since I hadn’t mixed it yet). No dice. CVS Pharmacy hadn’t filled the original Rx, so any return would have to happen at Kaiser. Also, my insurance wasn’t covering enough of the cost of the new prep, and it would have cost me a hundred bux. For a yucky prep for a procedure I didn’t even want to have! No thanks!

I did verify that the insurance was definitely covering the procedure 100%, though. If my co-pay had been, say, enough to meet my deductible, I’d have cancelled that thing AGAIN. I’m telling ya. I’m healthy! Much to my chagrin, the procedure is covered 100%. #Dammit

So now it’s the weekend before (stick with me, it's currently the weekend following, but in this tale, it's the weekend leading up to it), and I’ve altered my diet, I’ve arranged for a ride, I’ve confirmed the appointment, and I’ve mixed the Gavilyte. On Sunday, just under 24 hours before my procedure, I start drinking the Gavilyte.

Here’s what everyone tells you about colon prep: it’s a lot, and you WILL spend that day before in the bathroom. It’s a laxative, you see. A prescription-strength laxative. The idea is to CLEANSE your colon before they stick the tiny tube up there. They do tell you that it tastes yucky, but that’s all they’ll tell you.

Here’s what no one ever tells you about Gavilyte: it doesn’t take effect until you’re a few glasses in. Once it takes effect, it works almost like clockwork, depending on how quickly you can down it. It tastes like... badly mixed Country Time lemonade... thick and syrupy and vaguely lemony and vaguely artificially sweet... even though it LOOKS like water in that gallon jug! As you drink it, the gallon jug has miraculous refilling properties. I like-to-never finished that damn thing!

Well, actually, I didn’t. I got more than ¾ through, past the point where I was “pooping” brown liquid, then thick yellow bile, then clear yellow liquid. There was NOTHING solid left to poop. I mean, towards the end, the pressure to poop LIQUID meant I became a human soda stream. I kinda decided that after the procedure, I never wanted to poop again. Ennyhoo. Enough toilet talk.

On Monday, my friend Cheyanne gave me a ride in, and sat in the lobby area, working on her screenplay or whatever whilst I was whisked into the medical areas to undress down to a gown, verify that I was who the paperwork said I was, and receive my IV for the sedative. Not too long after that, the doc showed up to ask me the same shit, and then they wheeled me into the OR. I was introduced to yet another nurse, whose job it was to monitor my vitals. Before they administered the “Twilight” sedative (I’d be awake for most of the procedure and could inform them if I was feeling any PAIN), the first nurse noticed that my heartbeat was irregular. Say, what? The doc asked her if it was a “regular” irregularity or an “irregular” one. I joked that it was because I’m a musician – saying it was my percussionist soul taking over. No one got the joke, so I remarked that maybe it was due to this being my first procedure of this type (i.e. nervousness)? The doc either concurred with that sentiment, or overrode the nurse’s concerns, because he had her administer the sedative. Shortly after its administration, I was feeling the effects, and my heartbeat regulated, so... good call, doc!

I watched them weave the camera through a very foldy rosefield, and when they discovered the one polyp, they removed it before I even saw what it looked like! I did see the four clips they used to seal the wound they created by tearing out the polyp. Shortly after they installed the four clips, they were pulling the tiny tube out and unhooking my IV and wheeling me into the recovery area, where they offered me a juicebox.

Yes, I’m pretty strict about my keto, but I hadn’t eaten anything (solid) in close to 48 hours, so I was willing to consume a few carbs. Also, I was probably dehydrated, so I sucked that bad boy down. 

Then they sent Cheyanne in to sit with me for a few, and then they sent her to get the car while they transferred me from the bed to a wheelchair, and rolled me to another waiting area to receive her phone call (we had parked in a free shopping center lot, about a block away - NOT paying for parking on top of it all!). While I waited, I had another juicebox and a few packets of graham crackers – yum!

Cheyanne had gotten my postop instructions, so when she called to say the car was there, they wheeled me down and put me into her care. Next stop, Poquito Más! They had instructed “nothing too greasy or spicy”, so I got the grilled ahi on a small bed of white rice (yes, more carbs!) and felt much better.

That's some adulting, y'all. Have you had the dreaded colonoscopy? Were your experiences similar to mine? Better? Worse? Did you get pictures of the inside of your colon? Do your pics, if viewed quickly and out of focus, look like a field of roses?

Part the Second coming soon!

ManOhMan, has it been AWHILE!

I last checked in with y'all at the End Of May. Which means we didn't chat at all about my birthday in June (and I am usually #VeryPersistent in reminding people that my birthday is coming up, and asking everyone #HowDoYouPlanToCelebrateMe?)... we missed the review of my Hollywood Fringe Festival experience (just no audiences to speak of, and a lackadaisical cast)... we missed my re-acquaintance with my old friend Stephanie... we missed the two earthquakes we had on-or-about Independence Day... we missed me replacing my laptop-that-became-a-desktop-when-I-killed-the-screen... we missed my full weekend of bemoaning the loss of a decade or more of emails, some of which were probably #ImportantShit... we missed Daddy moving from Florida to Colorado (with my sister)... we missed Max's severe car accident that she is still recovering from... we missed my building of a new-for-me website (I think, maybe?)!

Currently, we have a weekend houseguest sleeping on our futon and attending acting classes with me. She still has employment #WayFarAway from "the industry" (showbiz), so mostly, she's only here on weekends. She's looking for more industry opportunities, so this couch-surfing could become #SlightlyMoreSemiPermanent, at which point she'll contribute to groceries or utilities or rent or something. We've learned from our previous houseguest leech not to become doormats!

So, because of the futon being a bed more often than it used to be, Stephen and I are looking at replacing it. He'd been researching mattresses for it, because there's honestly nothing wrong with the frame. But he's having no luck with that, so we're considering dropping about 500 on a new sleeper sofa from Ikea. We like the size; we like the "sit"; we like the "lay/lie down" (YES, I'll nitpik your grammar, but even if I look this one up, I'm not going to remember which one means "recline" so STFU!); we especially like the color! ... HOWEVER...

Stephen's laptop just crashed one too many times, and he's replaced it. But we were unable to rescue his novel, among other things, from his hard drive, which means it's currently being diagnosed by professionals. We have no doubt that they'll be able to rescue all of the files he needs, but in the meantime, we get to wait to see what that's going to cost us. It's not that we can't "afford" the 500 for the couch... but we do have to be responsible, don't we? Budget for shit that's nonessential? Right?

Speaking of diagnoses, I HAVE SAG-AFTRA HEALTH INSURANCE AGAIN! I got the notification in the mail on my birthday, which was the absofuckinglute best happy birthday celebratory dance at a mailbox I have ever had. (Hashtag AbsoFuckingLute)... so I had my general wellness exam for zero dollars and zero cents in July, and because I am #AWomanOfACertainAge, I also have to have some follow-up testing. Pray for me this weekend, when I will be fasting with tea and other clear liquids, to be put under on Monday with "Twilight" anesthesia whilst the doc pushes a tiny tube up my rectum so he can shine a tiny light on my innards, watching on a tiny camera to see if there are any polyps, and then grabbing them with a tiny grabby thingy for testing. The chance of there being at least one polyp is 50% (or did he say 1 in 50, a.k.a. 2%?). The chance of any polyps being pre-cancerous is 25% (or, again, was that 1 in 25? or 4% of the 2%? OOF. I'm good at numbers, but now I don'r remember what he said a week ago). Ennyhoo. I'll come out of the "Twilight" sleep a bit loopy, so I have to have a ride home. They will NOT release me to drive or take a Lyft or a bus or anything on my own recognizance! Luckily, my friend Max works just down the street, so she can probably let me hang out in her office or break room for the hour or so it takes me to truly recover. If that Dx is "clear", then I won't have to undergo that procedure again for ten years. And in the meantime, it doesn't cost me a dime, because I HAVE SAG-AFTRA HEALTH INSURANCE AGAIN!

Still have to get my skin checked out by a dermatologist and the girls squished by a mammographer. Yay. :-/

Also. Since beginning my Ketogenic Lifestyle (TM), I have lost twenty pounds (I was only shooting for ten), 3" off my waist, nearly 3" off my hips, and ~1" off each thigh. I've been very hit-or-miss with the daily yoga, but I know that when I was doing it more regularly, my arms and core were gaining strength. I've also been very hit-or-miss with my swimming at the Y, but when I go, I do up to :30 of laps, with just a skosh of treading water (the ol' gang isn't there anymore, so I don't have a social hour, it's just swimming). I did replace my waistband-wearable non-Fitbit thingy with a wrist wearable Disney Princesses (kid's) one, also NON-Fitbit, because I am anti-brand, for the most part. I like it. It counts my steps (10k per day IS a regular thing for me) and tracks my sleep, and lets me know if I've been still for too long (although it counts puttering around in the kitchen as stillness), and then if I have a total of one hour or more of activity in the day, it takes me on an adventure with Ariel and Flounder. It's cute.

So I'm currently catching you up while I make chocolate gelato, Keto-style. It's soooooo gooooood!

What have you been up to, since last we ... spoke (?) ?

I've been busy - how 'bout YOU?

I got sleepy in the middle of the day today, so I took a nap (read: snuggled the furbabies in a reclined position in the bed), and whilst there, I made BIG PLANS for a blog post today.

But I have too much to say. Too much to catch you up on. Too many feels!

So I'll just leave these little morsels here:

• I'm happy and grateful that I get to make my living on set. My goal is to also make pension and health insurance every year, starting with this quarter. So, yeah! Three days of work per week! Let's do it!
• I'm happy and grateful to be walking my body back to lookin' and feelin' great! Beach body before winter ends! Yeah! 5000 steps or more per day, please and thank you! Let's do it!
• I'm happy and grateful to be in an acting class that covers not only acting or auditioning technique, but also technical stuff like websites. I HAVE A NEW WEBSITE! Check me out! emelle4real.com Yeah! Self-promotion like a boss! Let's do it!
• I'm happy and grateful that I'm actually reading for pleasure and growth. I recently checked out from my public library "Big Magic" by Elizabeth Gilbert and "The Slight Edge" by Jeff Olson, and I liked both of these books well enough to purchase copies for myself. Yeah! Read at least 10 pages of a good book each day! Let's do it!
• I'm happy and grateful to be recording audiobooks (kid lit), so far just for the listening enjoyment of the niblings. Could it lead to a contract with a major publisher? Why not? So, yeah! Keep reading to the kiddos! Let's do it!
• I'm happy and grateful to be on the roster of volunteers at the SAG-AFTRA Conservatory. This (school) year is the first time I've taken advantage of the tens of thousands of dollars' worth of acting/business education offered to union members at the low, LOW price of $45/year, and I've gotten so much out of it so far, I'm ready to "give back". Yeah! Help a sistah (or brotha) OUT! Let's do it!

There's still too much to tell you, and maybe I'll get to it tomorrow or the next day. I might be back on set tomorrow, so we'll see. But THIS post needs to be published before I head out to this evening's class, so... YEAH! WRITING MORE BLOG POSTS TO STAY IN TOUCH! LET'S DO IT!

How can it POSSIBLY get even better than this?

Wassup?

So, let's see...

• I left the pet supply store, which was only ever supposed to be a part-time gig. My boss is my friend, and while my presence was helpful initially, it became difficult to "hide" our friendship, and I never wanted to harm her career, so I left before any official "accusations" of favoritism arose (there were hints of leanings of complaints, even though she never treated me any differently on the floor than anyone else on the staff). Better to leave on good terms than to damage her career or our friendship.
• I booked a good bit of set work following that, so as far as my unemployment claim is concerned, I "quit" the part-time gig because of scheduling conflicts with MY career. However, the transition hasn't been completely uneventful. I've already had one phone interview with the unemployment offices, and I've got another one scheduled, to continue my eligibility to collect. Not that we're worried about it - in the past two-week claim period, I'm only eligible to collect a whopping nine bucks! Yep, I'm #Blessed
• Stephen got promoted to "Bench Assistant Store Manager", which was supposed to be "2nd Banana" to the "official" ASM at his particular store. It hasn't worked out that way, though. The "official" ASM has been dealing with some weird health issues ever since he got promoted, and those health issues have rolled into Stephen's promotion. Which means Stephen's "learning curve" in the new position has been more of a "learning cliff" (nothing like being thrown into the deep end of the pool to learn to swim, or possibly exactly like that). He's doing great. Yep, he's also #Blessed
• I was planning to participate in the #March4OurLives yesterday (Saturday the 24th of March), but wouldn't ya know it? I got #BOOKED for work on set! W00t W00t!
• Went to bed pretty early yesterday; got up pretty early today, after a great night's sleep. Today, I went to a reading and signing event at a bookstore in Pasadena, because Anne Wheaton wrote a children's book! I had to buy the book, of course. I had to get her to sign it, of course. It's a sweet/bittersweet little tale, and I had to offer to record the audiobook, of course. She had to hire her famous husband to record it though. Of course. Oh, well. I look forward to hearing it.
• Gonna hit the sack pretty early again tonight, because I have to greet #DawnsTrampStamp again tomorrow... because I am, of course, #BOOKED. It's a recall situation for a feature; I'm carpooling with a co-worker; we know what to expect already. #LoveMyLife #SetLifeRocks

How's thangs in YOUR life? Are YOU #Blessed? Wassup?

I made some new friends today!

Because I was On Set, yay!

I had an issue with my service two weeks ago. They neglected to inform me of a booking, and so I missed a day on set because I just didn't know. Y'all KNOW my feelings about my "job". Any Day On Set Is A Good Day. I love working in film and television! So I was a bit miffed about missing that day of work, and also a teensy bit anxious that my standing at Central Casting may have slipped. After that missed day, I needed to get booked again. Kinda like that day I drove 8 hours (round trip) in North Carolina to work in one scene of a show (Sleepy Hollow), a scene that was edited in such a way that none of us were seen, up in that choir loft. Didn't matter; I was grateful for the work. Even at minimum wage, paid essentially for my drive so I could work the 3 or 4 hours for FREE.

So, two days ago, there was another phone-in casting call that I was appropriate for, so I set my two phones to redialing. After ~200-250 calls, I made it through! The casting director was happy to book me, but since it was two days later, I was technically only "on hold", until I got the info from another casting director yesterday.

I got the info! I was to be parked downtown at 7:30 this morning! Woo Hoo! I love those early calls! I love location calls! No traffic, and breakfast, to boot! Score! #Blessed

It was cooooooooooooooooold this morning! We were all dressed for spring! One young lady, for whom it was her First Day Ever, was dressed in the cutest sandals you could want, but her poor tootsies were turning blue whilst we ate! Thankfully, the lovely wardrobe gal opted for new chick's short booties. She was also wearing a cute sundress, but this is LA, and there are numerous opportunities to wear conflicting weather clothing simultaneously.

We ate our breakfasts. We got checked in. We got approved by wardrobe. We sat in holding. They described our short (yay!) day for us, and when some folks went to work the first bit, the rest of us stayed behind to talk biz. In addition to #FirstDayEvahGirl, there was also a #ThirdDayEvahGuy. I and another vet were doing our best to give FDEG and TDEG our best advice on survival as a background artiste. We had plenty of time.

When they called us to set, we still had plenty of time to continue our tutelage. It was a very informative day. I recalled my early days, back when I insulted the color green with all my greenliness. I recalled tips I'd picked up along the way. TDEG kept complimenting me, telling me I should write a book; this was a Master Class, and he was #Grateful for the instruction. #SorryNotSorry, but I don't want to write a book. I write a BLOG. You're here, reading it now. Yes, TDEG, even YOU are reading it! #winkyface

Ennyhoo, it felt good to be back in the instructor seat, considering how much I long to just be working. I gave the other vet a ride home, and we discussed a lot about a lot. I have three new friends that I met on set today! I sure hope we meet on set again, real soon. I'm interested to find out what new things they'll have picked up by the time we meet again, since it will surely be next year before that even happens!

Since so many of the friends I have anymore are online only, it felt good to make new friends in real life. When's the last time you made a real connection, either irl or online? How easy has it been to maintain that connection?

A new test ... of my patience, among other things

{It didn't fucking work.  DAMMIT!}

Yesterday, I went to the Don LaFontaine VoiceOver Lab at the SAG-AFTRA building. This is one of the many benefits I gain from the SAG-AFTRA Foundation, a separate non-profit entity from my union. I don't have to pay anything for the benefits I receive from the Foundation, and once I'm in a place to be philanthropic, I shall most definitely make charitable donations to them. In the meantime, I volunteer my time for the screenings, which I am currently able to afford (my time).

So yesterday at the DLF VO Lab, I was participating in a Commercial Workout. I've done these a few times over the past year or so, and they're usually a fun way to practice technique. QUALIFIERS to participate are spelled out very clearly in the event details: bring in 2 pieces of commercial copy, have worked in the solo booth > 0 times, have taken the pre-requisite "intro" bundle, cancel by midnight the night before. Usually, there's only one poor sap who didn't read the rules correctly, if at all, so that one poor sap gets a good public berating. My first Commercial Workout, I was that poor sap. I didn't read the requirements, so I had no copy. To offset my public berating, though, there was another participant who had plenty of copy to share. Thank you, kind voice actor whose name I've long since forgotten.

But yesterday, there were only 6 of us signed up, versus the usual 8-12 voice actors we get in there. We'll get in the booth, read thru the copy once, get feedback from the group, read it again, get feedback, and read it a third time. One person at a time, through the whole group. Take a break and then start up again on the second piece of copy. With 8-12 people in the group, it takes roughly 2 hours to get in a good workout. But yesterday, there were only 6 people on the list. So we shoulda flown through our copy, and maybe even had a chance at a third piece, right?

Remember I mentioned QUALIFIERS, though? Of the six of us, I was the Only Qualified Participant. Two dudes didn't even show up, nor had they canceled or called or emailed or begged forgiveness for running super late or whatever. STRIKE! Two chicks hadn't done any time in the solo booth at all, nor had they taken the prerequisite intro class. STRIKE! But at least they brought copy. The last dude didn't even read the confirmation email or any of the details, so he'd done zero time in a booth, hadn't taken the intro, and brought no copy. STRIKE THREE! YER OUTTA THERE! ... or, well, if it'd been up to me, I guess. Sadly, no, all three strikes were allowed to walk the bases.

We spent the bulk of the two hours discussing home studio setup and getting an agent and using the software and practicing at home or in the solo booth, rather than "working out". We did the "workout", but being the only qualified member of the participant pool meant I was also the only one who knew #WhatTheAbsoluteFuck I was doing, both at the mic and in giving feedback. Had I not also booked an hour in the main booth with an engineer that day, I would have left feeling like I'd completely wasted my time. I was not a happy camper, kids. Nor was the dude who runs the show. We commiserated. If you don't follow written directions, how is one to expect you to take direction when you book a gig? Unh Unh Unh... nopity nope nope nope.

BUT, I also booked time in the main booth! I spent the first half-hour or so reading the first chapter of Stephen's WIP* book. Then the engineer gave me some feedback, and I read the second chapter, trying to follow the direction she'd given. As we were listening to the recordings, she was speed-editing room tone in over my breaths, as well as removing my flubs, so the two chapters "sound" like they flow, for the most part. I was in awe of her skilz, and asked how long it took her to get so fast. She was, like, eh... it's just muscle-memory. So, cool. She asked if I'm also a writer, and I indicated #NoHellNoButIDoBlog. She wanted to "hear" my blog, so I read the last entry for her. She enjoyed it, I think? and said "You NEED to have that. Recorded. I don't know what you'll ever use it for, but let's DO that. Let's record it. Now."

So she threw the site up on the big screen in the main booth, set up the mic that faces the screen, and we recorded it! It's my blog, in my voice! Saved to a flash drive so I can hear it again and again, and If Blogspot Will Allow It, for you to hear it, too! So that is the test of my patience... before I typed a single word in this space today, I told blogspot to upload a ... video. Because there's no option to upload only audio. So I'm trying to upload it, and it's saying that it's doing it, but I have no idea whether anything at all will load. If it does, it'll be the first thing on this page. If you want to listen and read along, then you'll have to open the whole site (as opposed to just this post), click "play", and then scroll down to the post before this one.

It's a test. A survey, of sorts. Would you rather A) READ me, in YOUR voice, B) LISTEN to MY voice, or C) READ me whilst LISTENING? If you're here, reading me already, then I know the answer is not D) None of the Above. Thank you for that. ... so now, do I wait the unknowable interminable epoch for the "video" to load? or just hit "publish", and try a second time, to see if somehow an "update" will be quicker than the first upload? Seriously. It's taking forever. Wah. I've decided to do the latter, having already waited a millenia for the former. Here's the post; hopefully, there will be an update, soonish, with the link!
* work in progress

Hollyweird

I am frequently amazed that I made it here. I look back over high school and college, and LA was always where the truly weird people went, and mostly, if one who went was not already an up-and-coming star, they'd come back "home" with tail between legs. So many songs from my childhood indicated that no one ever truly "made it" in LA ("Car Wash" comes immediately to mind). And yet, I've chosen, twice in this adult lifetime, to live and work in this crazy place.

Things that make Holly"weird":

• The traffic sucks. You think it's bad that you have to drive half-an-hour to get to your job? Is your job fewer than five miles away from home for that :30? No? Then quit yer bitchin'. Any Los Angeleno who spends less than :30 commuting to a job or a gig feels like Today Is A Good Day.

• There's always smog. It's probably why my allergies are so fucked up, particularly of late. Still, when I take a walk and I can see the mountains clearly, we're all breathing a little better, and Today Is A Good Day.

• It's expensive to live anywhere "close" to the film industry. You either pay for a convenient location, or you pay in your commute time/maintenance of your vehicle. But when Stephen and I moved to North Carolina for our "things", we spent more time and more money making ends meet, and we weren't doing work that would ultimately feed our souls. He was writing, sure. I loved my job at TJ's, absolutely. But we were ultimately adrift, and the day I spent eight hours in my car so that I could be on set for an eight-hour paycheck in a right-to-work state was probably the day that tipped LA back in our favor. Traffic may suck here, but if it takes me four hours each way to commute to a gig, you know that I'm going to be compensated for that, because I'm covered by a great union. I may have a right to work in "right-to-work" states, but the work doesn't compare to what I get in my union state. And "right to work" doesn't necessarily that there is any work to be done. As you already know, if I "get" to work here, then I consider it a Today Is A Good Day kinda day.

I love Hollyweird. We currently live in NORTH Hollyweird, which is not actually even Hollyweird-adjacent (it's separated by a little mountain that's commonly known as "the Hollywood Hill"), rather a ~ 9 mile commute from one H community to the other, and there are a few other communities in between, like Studio City, Universal City (yes, they call it a "city"), and Toluca Lake. Burbank's not far, either, although it's technically not "between" Hollyweird and North Hollyweird.

#TodayImGratefulFor the opportunities I've had to come out to Hollyweird. I'm grateful that it's possible to live so easily in what the outside world might consider "difficult" circumstances (listed above). I've been eligible for Public Assistance from time to time; I've had friends who've helped me in unfathomable ways, be it lending me a car while mine was totaled (ten years ago), rescuing my furbabies, instructing Stephen to find me for a college reunion 7 years ago, giving me/us furniture, loading/unloading during moves (and yeah, I've moved too much in the last 14 years), shopping with me to update my wardrobe because I suck at it, and more. I've had moral and financial support from friends/family/the government, and I'm so grateful for my network.

And speaking of networks, y'all remember that Scripty gig I was so excited about in August? That created a great network for me, and I know I'll work with everyone again and again. I mostly know that I'll work with everyone because the season that we shot is going to begin airing on December 15th, streaming on Fullscreen (I dunno if they'll release all seven episodes at once or space them out weekly - it is supposed to be a "television show"). And then we all go back to work in late winter to shoot Season Two! W00t!

Here's the trailer, but before you watch it, be aware that it is Very Adult Content, Black Humor. If you are easily offended or have small children nearby, I recommend not watching. For everyone else, ENJOY!

(I was there for at least half of what you see here, and I cannot wait to get back to creating even more chaos with these crazy people).

What else? My health and dental insurance (from Warner Bros.) run out on the 30th of this month, so I've gotten all my Depo shots and breathing/knee shit looked into, and I got a tooth extracted and the rest of 'em cleaned. I've gone online to Covered California to see what insurance plan(s) I'm now eligible for, as well as what tax assistance I may receive. My car is filthy because I refuse to wash it while we're in drought conditions. My unemployment benefit year ends this week, so I'll be opening a new claim soon. We've been taking care of Smokey's hotspot, and it's getting better. Stephen's commute to his promotion has been a little hinky of late (drama on the subway, including a homeless tweaker dude randomly PUNCHING Stephen in the face as he stepped off the train - no injuries except to his confidence that day). We seem to be experiencing autumn, of late, with windy days in slightly-cooler-than-I'm-comfy-with temperatures (low 70's?). We've had a little rain, which is definitely a #TodayImGratefulFor item. I've rebooted my walking, to some degree (three days this week of 10K+ steps, yay!). I've rebooted my sleep. I still do the #WalkingSamplingLunches at Costco, but I have to drive to Costco to do it, so I definitely make sure I have other business there, even if it's just filling my gas tank (last fillup for eighteen bux, baby! Only $2.299/gallon!).

So. Hollyweird weird enough for ya? Don't ya wanna come on out to see if YOU can "make it" here? We have a futon you can crash on, for your first week, at least. And the cats are less afraid of "strangers"; one or both of them may snuggle up with you on the futon!

And the Reviews Keep On Comin'!

More SAG Awards Foundation Screenings, because I'm #Blessed to be a working union actor.

A Monster Calls A boy seeks the help of a tree monster to cope with his single mom's terminal illness.: This is a fantasy/drama (at last! More Fiction!) that will be released on January 6th. HEAVY on the drama, heavy on the fantasy element, told using just about every visual storytelling method that exists. It's a fictionalized autobiography, written by a woman who died of cancer. The movie is her son's pre-grieving process, and the storytelling is thick and sometimes difficult to navigate.

Performances are honest. Art direction is probably what will be nominated for awards, because the transitions from live-action to animated watercolor paintings to cgi to ??? are pretty phenomenal. But that is what makes the story so thick. Sigourney Weaver is fantastic as the estranged Grandma, when she has no dialogue (she can't really maintain her British dialect); thankfully, her nonverbals are spot-on.

I left the theater emotionally drained, and I wasn't sure how to say here what I felt needed to be said. I described my experience to Stephen, and he gave me this phrase as my "rating": Hard Watch, but if you're up for it, it's probably worth your time/energy.

Paterson Set in the present in Paterson, New Jersey, this is a tale about a bus driver and poet.: To be released on Mommy's birthday (December 28th).

Kids, if you have any faith/belief in what I say about these movies, I need you to NOT BOTHER with this movie. I bit the bullet for ya with a free screening, but honestly, I threw away three hours of my life to do so. You remember when I was forcing myself to blog Every Single Damn Day because I thought I had something to prove? Do you also remember when I QUIT blogging Every Single Damn Day because what I "had to say" was so fucking boring to me that I couldn't put you, my readers, through all that agony and torture anymore?

That ^ is what I watched on a big screen today, a life so BORING that I would honestly kill myself if it were mine. Kylo Ren is living that boring life, and he's really the only one on the screen that we hope-beyond-hope something will happen to. The woman who plays his wife is either such a bad actress or is so poorly written and directed that we just can't help but hate her. {We are not meant to hate her, FYI}. Save your money. Unless it costs you no more than $0.00 to see this film, Skip It By Any Means Necessary.

Poor Adam Driver, having to attend these screenings and sit through Q&A's... and he's never watched any of his films! Yup, that's right, kids, he's "one of those" actors who refuses to watch himself onscreen! He managed the Q&A, but it's probably for the best that he didn't have to sit through this flick. And yes, it will gain a small niche audience of pretentious, pseudo-intellectuals. I ain't that.

Elle A successful businesswoman gets caught up in a game of cat and mouse as she tracks down the unknown man who raped her.: This one is Out There, on The Big Screen (probably near you), Just Released. I was confirmed to see it on Saturday, at the same time as my screening for Paterson. I opted out of this one, because I think I'm not in the right frame of mind to watch a thriller yet, so I'll try again when they send me another invite to another screening. (So Many Screening invites these days!) After sitting through the Paterson screening, maybe I was, in fact, in the right frame of mind for a gory slasher/thriller. Oh, well. :/

Manchester by the Sea An uncle is forced to take care of his teenage nephew after the boy's father dies.: To be released on November 18th, this one is, oh, great, approximately the same story as A Monster Calls! Good thing the Q&A will have a bunch of people and there will be coffee and donuts prior! W00t!

... So, yeah, coffee and donuts. I got in line pretty dadgum early to make up for missing out on the last time they made that offer, and boy, howdy, did I make up for it. Put my sweater on a 3rd row aisle seat and carbo-loaded. It was more like chocolate croissant than donuts (that I ate, at least), and were they ever "worth it" (My Life Motto: if dessert is "worth" eating, it is worth eating first)! Didn't see that they had actual milk or cream to add to coffee (rather than powdered nastiness), so I opted for a cuppa Earl Grey and Moroccan Mint tea... and oj with cranberry on the side. Whilst lingering over my gnosh in the lobby, I approached a guy I thought I knew. Turns out, I only "know" him in the same way you do, from television. We had a pleasant, brief chat, and after my sixth croissant, I downed the last few drops of tea in my cup and headed in to take my seat. Like I said, I made up! 😋

The Movie... is a languidly-paced, laugh-out-loud heartbreaker of a tale. It's beautifully written, well-directed, and beautifully performed. Casey Affleck is superb in his simplicity of grief, and so believable in the flashback scenes to happier (or just earlier) times. The ensemble cast holds him up as well. I was never bored, even though it is a slow-moving "slice of life". I know for grief, kids, so I was with him all the way. Either he's a tremendous actor or he knows for grief, or (most likely) both. I was able to ask at the Q&A whether they'd had the luxury of filming the "past" prior to "present day" (not necessarily in chronological order, just get the past done so he'd have the scenes to reflect on). There are very few films out there that have that luxury. This one didn't. The logistics of a shooting schedule can be so complicated that you wrap out a specific location before moving to the next, and I have a feeling that they shot mostly in Manchester-by-the-sea (a real place in Massachusetts, USA) before moving on to any of their 3 or 4 locations. Which means, nope, not gonna be finished with past before jumping forward in time to "today". Which just reinforces my belief that Casey Affleck is an as-yet-un"discovered" gem; a phenomenal actor with real chops. I look forward to his next flick.

So, if you're mired in grief yourself and need a reason to laugh through it all, See This Film, (and then look for the bar scenes - my laughter may have been inappropriate, but it was solid and genuine). If you know people who are mired in grief and you'd like a chance to understand them a little better, See This Film. If you just like a well-told story with lots of Massachusetts accents and humor, then you'll want to See This Film. There was minimal (if any) handheld camera work, and the only "action", per se, is in the bar scenes, plus the one raging fire (there's a raging fire). If nothing I've said here appeals or applies to you, then stay home and wait for it to come to your small screen. It might gain some award "buzz", but I'm not on the Nom(inating) Com(mittee), so I don't know what it could be up against.

Deadpool A fast-talking mercenary with a morbid sense of humor is subjected to a rogue experiment that leaves him with accelerated healing powers and a quest for revenge.: Um, yeah. This was released way back in February, and probably a lot of you saw it, and I may have even already reviewed it! We bought the Blu-Ray when it came out, and We Love It. But I got really excited when I saw there would be a screening on Sunday, and I could take Stephen, and Ryan Reynolds was scheduled for the Q&A. I didn't get a confirmation, and maybe Stephen will just want to watch our Blu-Ray sometime soon. No matter what, as long as you're not easily offended or watching with your young kids, this one is Highly Recommended. 😁

Doctor Strange A former neurosurgeon embarks on a journey of healing only to be drawn into the world of the mystic arts.: Stephen and I went to see this at our walking-distance theater today, not at a screening, because there are no screenings available for it, just seeing movies on the big screen the old fashioned way (buying tickets). I LIKE comic book movies (yes, I just "reviewed" Deadpool without any additional viewing of late). I LIKE the Marvel Universe that includes The Avengers, The Guardians of the Galaxy, and Doctor Strange. I don't yet "Get It" how they all tie in, because I don't read the comics from whence these movie ideas have sprung, so I'm pretty lost on backstory.

That said, I enjoyed Doctor Strange. Stephen says it's a pretty "accurate" origin story, and once we've watched it a couple more times (on Blu-Ray, probably), we'll both have a better understanding of all the things we likely missed today. I'm down with that.

Visually, this film would seem to be equal parts The Matrix, Inception, and Edge of Tomorrow. There is an unfortunate amount of handheld camera work, and not in the usual places, the fight scenes. For heavy cgi (fight scenes), the camera tends to be "locked off" so you can shoot green screen "plates" where you lay the effects in later. So the handheld stuff is just when you're alone in the room with ONE character (or maybe two), looking at a face or an object. Gawd, PLEASE Make It Stop shaking!

Ennyhoo. Benedict is great; the ensemble is great; the vfx are great; the story's pretty good; Benjamin Bratt was a welcome surprise; I didn't mind Tilda Swinton as The Ancient One. If you like comic book movies and/or the Marvel Universe and/or either of the Benedicts this movie so adeptly employs, then you should See It. Heck, at this point, you may already have!

Next up: Mr. Church and The Bronze (unless I book work for Tuesday and/or Wednesday). How are you feeling about all these reviews? You haven't been commenting... maybe you don't care? Maybe you'd like me to talk about the day of work I had last week, or the hotspot Smokey seems to have developed on his neck (that we are keeping a very close eye on as we treat it)? Lemme know; I'm writing all this for you, too!

Wow. I REALLY have had nothing to say in, like, awhile. So here's an UPDATE!

Today is 4 July 2016. That means nobody in America is working (except for folks who work at hospitals, movie theaters, some grocery stores, and the Warner Bros. Studio Tours Department). That means that everyone else has made their beer-and-charcoal runs, and is now having barbeques and lighting illegal fireworks and ending up in the ER, or watching movies because they can. Or, if they're not 'Muricans, they're taking tours of Warner Bros. and wondering why there are no movie stars on the lot today. It's a National Holiday, Kids. Read this paragraph again if you're still confused. Here's a YouTube video to help you, or confuse you even more, as the case may be:

I've spent my morning on Twitter, as I do. I also trimmed Smokey's nails and gave both furbabies plenty of treats and lovin'. I'm also currently in the middle of de-crustifying the coffee pot, something that should happen monthly, but probably doesn't. Stephen has done a little writing, a little cleaning, and now he's updating his MLB team on the PS4 (I think that's what he's doing; I'm grateful he's doing it MOS). We're supposed to go hang out with our friends, the homeowner-hosts of my big blowout birthday gathering, after 3 today. We don't really know if it's a barbecue or what, or if we're supposed to bring anything, but more than likely, it'll be us rushing to catch an open grocery store before they close early, to bring whatever it is we're s'posedta. Also, Stephen had indicated yesterday that if we have time, he'd like a haircut. I've just asked him about that, and since we're both in the middle of things, we'll probably take care of that in the next half-hour. We'll see.

I got to work on set One Day in my birth month. It was a decent day; pretty lucrative, but it really just made me wonder why I'm not working more. Yesterday, my allergies flared up, only when I was inside the apartment. So the plan was to vacuum today. I'll be honest. I have a good vacuum, but I still hate running the damn thing, and since my breathing is perfectly fine today, I'm probably gonna procrastinate that task. Unless I do cut Stephen's hair and he doesn't manage to sweep it all up.

Tomorrow, I'll be attending some callback auditions for a student film that I will be Scriptying. I'm not sure yet what the shoot schedule for that is, but the director has also found a classmate who has expressed some interest in Script Supervision, so if I book any PAID work during the shoot, My Department will be covered. So that's good.

At the end of the month/beginning of August, I have a three-week film that I'll be working behind the camera on, for pay. Just not sure yet what my job will be, as my hat's in the ring for Scripty, but I may end up Key Set PA (which I'm perfectly happy accepting). We'll see.

So for the remainder of this month, I'll be getting my daily 10,000 steps in and submitting for other gigs, and hopefully booking one or two days of paid showbiz work per week. Three or more per week would be stellar. Y'all can do whatever it is that you do in the way of putting "good vibes" into the ether on my behalf for that. And on days I'm not working, you're welcome to join me in the pool. It's usually pretty clean (but for surface dust or bugs or whatnot), but it's also mostly cold all the time. Unless management pulls a "last year" and decides to heat it again, from today until Labor Day. Stoopids.

UPDATE: I know you kids are always saying "Pics or it didn't happen", so here is ONE "before":

and a handful of "after"s:

 

Last Post for the weekend

Yeah, I know, I don't usually say "I'm about to blog/not blog for x amount of time", except for that last time I said, "hey, I think I'll try blogging daily". But this weekend, Stephen and I are doing a "Digital Detox" (Thank you, Straight and Curly, for the suggestion). What this means is NO ONLINE ANYTHING from 9 p.m. tonight (local time) until 9 p.m. Sunday night (also local time). The gals over at Straight and Curly are in Australia, so they're already well-entrenched in their DD Weekend, and by the time they get any notice that we're also participating, we'll still be knee-deep in it, and they'll have hit their Sunday nights.

If you need to reach either me or Stephen this weekend, we will have our phones on/with us, but they'll be looked at ONLY as phones. That means No Texting, No Emailing, No GAMES, No GPS, no anything "smart" that a smartphone is built for. It'll be a throwback weekend, if you will, to the time when you had to call someone on their landline, and possibly leave a message, and wait to get back to them. It'll be like, when you made plans to do a thing, and the only way to back out of those plans was In Advance. I'll be attending a birthday party for my friend Stephanie. I've already mapped it out, and I need to Write Those Directions down (or print them), because as of 9 p.m., I'm not only going to turn off our internet router for 48 hours, I'm also going to turn off my computer. Gonna give it a break.

I've already let Stephen know that he can still write this weekend, but it'll have to either be longhand, or just in his non-internet-based word-processing software. We're not having a Luddite Weekend. We still have access to technology. But we're turning off the blue light as much as possible. We're going to go to bed each night after winding down without a small screen.

If you think you might like to try a Digital Detox, go ahead. Tell me about your experience. I'm sure I'll have something to say about mine, after 9 p.m. Sunday.

In the meantime, would you like my review of Captain America: Civil War? Yes, you know you do.

I love movies. In the past several years, I haven't seen nearly as many movies in theaters as in my younger past, partially due to time, partially due to money, and partially due to just inclination in general.

I love comic books and superheroes and the movies made about comic books and superheroes. I'm as much a fan of an action flick as I am of a broad comedy or weepy romance or epic historical drama. I want there to be a good story, though, and I want that good story to unfold in a visual way so that I can follow it.

We've been binge-watching the Marvel Avengers series of films (on Blu-Rays, because that's how we roll). We're completely caught up on the story they've been unfolding for us. As we were watching Age of Ultron last night, I commented to Stephen about some visually-stunning portion of the film. He knew exactly where my comment was going. The camera was either locked-off, or on a dolly, or possibly on a steadicam rig, so the cinematography for this particular action sequence was fluid, followable, and really quite beautiful. They slowed it down for just one little bit. It wasn't jumpy or frenetic, and yet it was still edge-of-your-seat action.

This is my problem with Civil War. It has a good story, but for much of the first hour (out of 2.5 hours), it is Completely Unwatchable. Do you know why? Because the camera work was handheld. There were fights that happened, that I couldn't really tell you who was fighting whom. There were car chases, where again, I can't say who was chasing and who was fleeing. Car chases do not EVER need to be filmed with a frenetic, bouncy, cameraman-has-Tourette's style. There were also bits of two-people-in-a-room-talking that Just. Kept. Moving. STOP IT ALREADY WITH THE FREAKIN' HANDHELD CAMERA WORK!!!!

I know that filmmakers get younger and younger. I get that the handheld style was created for fight scenes, and to combat the short attention spans of Millennials. But the audiences are aging. What's the average age of the stars of this particular action film? 39. Thirty-nine is not young, people. I mean, yay, there seems to be more work for those of us who are not fresh outta high school or college. I mean, yay, there seems to be quite a bit of really physical work for actors of my generation. Did you know, that of the cast of "fighters" in this film, there are only TWO "Millennials"? Elizabeth Olsen is 27 this year, and Tom Holland is 20. Then we get four folks in their 30's, four in their 40's, and TWO in their 50's. I betcha, when they were watching the dailies, if they watched the dailies, almost every person who watched the handheld camera work looked away during those scenes. I'm also willing to bet that no one said a word. I'm sick of it. And what I mean by that is that it makes me feel nauseous to have to watch it, and so to combat that nausea, I look away. There were honestly three distinct moments during the first hour that I almost left my seat to demand a refund of my ticket. That's bad business, folks.

And so, even though, overall, I enjoyed this installment of the Marvel Avengers Universe, when the next one is about to hit theaters, I'm going to check the names of the director(s) and cinematographer, and if it's the same team that shot This One, I will not see it in a theater. Take this installment under advisement, especially if you feel the way I do about handheld camera work.

See ya in 48+ hours!

What if "I" weren't here?

I may be having an existential crisis. I'm not sure; I don't really think that's what it is, but let's call it that for the time being.

Please follow along with me here.

Imagine that "I" am your toddler "I DO IT!" son; your "You're not my Mommy!" step-child; your "Dad, you ruin EVERYTHING!" teenage daughter. "I" am a total pain in your ass, more often than not, but you still love "me", right?

Imagine that "I" am your best friend; your "soul mate"; your spouse. Sometimes, "my" quirks get under your skin, but you still love "me", right?

Imagine I'm your classmate; your co-worker; your teacher; your boss. There is plenty you don't know about "me" but we get along; we're sorta "friends", right?

Imagine I'm your sibling; your parent; your aunt/uncle/grandparent. We've had our differences throughout our lives, but you still love "me", right?

*****

Now imagine I'm no longer here. Or possibly never was.
How would your life be different?

I'm not suggesting that I need to be George Bailey or Nic Cage's character, being shown a "glimpse" of some other life. I know I've recently requested a "do-over". That's not what this is about. Just imagine that I'm not here.

Would your "diet" be healthier or worse? Would you exercise more or less?  Would you be sleeping more or less? With more or fewer partners? ;) Would you have the same pets, or none at all, or some that are completely different than the ones I brought into your life (assuming "I" brought an animal into your life)? Would you have tattoos? Piercings? Funky haircuts? Funky colors in your hair? Would you play more games or fewer, or different kinds of games? Would you watch more or less television? More or fewer movies? More or less Porn? ;) Would you be writing or painting or reading or sculpting or singing or knitting or crafting or dancing or working with wood or machines, more or less than you do now? Would you be doing the job that you currently do? Would you live in the same neighborhood? or town? or country? Would you travel more or less?

Think about these things, please. If enough people answer these questions honestly in the comments, then I'll give you my answers as a follow-up.

*****

For the record, I think I already live enough in "The Now" that I'm not really having an existential crisis. I had made a decision at the beginning of the year to blog daily, and recently, I've found that it wasn't the creative outlet (or PUSH) that I was expecting, so I opted to cease blogging daily. I think, since I made the decision to NOT blog daily, I have only NOT blogged on one day. That was the day that sent Lee over to another blog, because he was afraid I'd be gone forever. That was Lee, imagining that I'm No Longer Here! Being all prescient and shit; possibly foretelling of This Exact Post! Way to go, Lee!

Ennyhoo. Please comment below. I'd love to hear your thoughts. Just pretend I'm not here. ;)

A Day Off

I know what you're thinking. You're all like, STFU, Bitch, I know you always have the days off, and when you gonna get your ass to work? But of course, my response is, Bitch, you know that I wish I were workin', so get off my ass about it! And then you're all like, Bitch, why we callin' each other bitches here? So I'm like, Hey, yeah, let's stop that and get on with me talking about a Day Off...

PURPLE for Prince today.
Purple eyeliner (yes, on my "day off"), purple framed glasses, purple nails, purple cami, purple shorts.
Yes, I was using Prince's death as an excuse to be a grape. Shut up.

Sorry. I wanna talk about when my Day Off coincides with one of Stephen's. Ya know, like today.

First: Stephen, in his downtime, is a writer and a gamer. He might argue my specifying "downtime" but I honestly don't have any idea how much "uptime" brainpower he devotes to either writing or gaming. I know that when he's at his job or walking to or from that job, he's not on his computer. He's probably also not even on his phone much during that "uptime", because, ya know, needing to be focused on things like work or getting somewhere safely. So for the sake of "argument", I'm labeling "downtime" any time that is not spent focused on work or getting there. In my downtime, I fart around online; I get my steps in; I look for work; I try to do at least one productive domestic task; I pet the kitties; I blog.

So when Stephen has a morning off or a full Day Off from his forty-hours/week job, he writes, and he plays video games. He also checks various internet sites, and if he's really needing to calm his brain, he'll color. Aside: he's very good at the coloring. If Stephen's morning off coincides with me not working, he'll get out of bed at whatever hour suits him, and he'll leave me sleeping so he can do whatever in the living room. I stay in bed, even if I'm awake, for many hours in the morning, so as not to disturb his writing. Because frankly, I don't know what order his creative juices flow, or whether there's any kind of "pattern" established. I do not want to be the non-creative interrupting creativity. THAT would make me a Bitch.

When I do eventually venture out into the living room, Stephen will typically acknowledge my verticality. This morning, I had used up all the juice in my phone, so when I came into the living room, it was merely to plug that bad boy in. I wasn't staying. He asked if I was going back to bed, but it was already after 11, so I let him know that no, I was going to jump in the shower. He went back to whatever it was he was doing, and when I returned to eat a little breakfast, I made the mistake of suggesting to him a Costco walking, sampling lunch and grocery run. This suddenly became pressure for him, you see; I was establishing a schedule for our Day Off. His mistake was not just saying, hey, I'm writing, so can we talk when I'm done? Because, if I know that's what he's in the middle of, then he can know that I'm not trying to pressure him. At All.

So we both made mistakes in that moment, and the suggestion turned into a conversation, and that turned into pressure, and we both got a little angsty, in that moment. Once he'd set his laptop down, I knew he was done, so I apologized for my mistake, informed him of his mistake, and we both got down from the ledge we'd climbed. Don't worry, it was only about six inches off the floor, and about three feet wide, so it's not like "jumping" or "falling" would have hurt either of us.

We walked to Costco, kids. We did the walking, sampling lunch. We circled back and "weighed" the items we were considering carrying home, and then, after a little bit of math, we actually put the appropriate items in the cart and checked out. I'd carried four grocery bags with us, and when we left, I had about ten pounds of stuff evenly distributed between two bags for myself, and Stephen carried the ten pounds of carrots. Yes, Stephen likes carrots enough that we buy ten pounds of organic carrots at Costco, cheaper than we'd buy a much smaller quantity of even just ordinary carrots somewhere else. Hard to decide to carry ten pounds home on a walk, but Stephen was okay, as long as I was okay with the other ten pounds of stuff. I never in a million years ever imagined shopping at Costco ON FOOT on as regular a basis as I do.

Once we were home from our shopping, I found time to take another walk to get my steps in, and Stephen spent plenty of "downtime" playing games. It was a pretty good Day Off. I did submit myself for work, but I'm not yet booked for weekend or Monday. One of these days, they're going to rush call me for something. I'm ready. I'm available. Please send me to work, because I really don't like having too many consecutive Days Off.

Do YOU do things differently on your Days Off? Tell me about 'em.

Links!

I stayed in bed late today. I wasn't necessarily still sleeping; I just had no reason to get up, other than a quick bladder-emptying that happened around 7:30. After I'd farted around on my phone for a bit, I tweeted, since the non-FitBit thingy thought I was still sleeping (HA!), that maybe I'd go ahead and take a nap. I followed that tweet with a nap. Funny how that works.

Then Cocoa decided that I should rub her belly for a bit, since I was still horizontal, and there was that little pocket of space for her to occupy. So I woke up for reals with giving the baby girl some belly rubs.

The rest of my day was pretty uneventful. Yesterday I'd been on set, and got all my steps in between work setups. Last night and part of today, I had some coughing fits. I know that those fits were likely entirely pet hair and dander related, so my only real plan for today was to vacuum the bed and all of the walking surfaces in the apartment. Once I was officially "up" for the day, I ate some leftovers for my breakfast, which really happened at lunchtime, and then I vacuumed. And then I mopped, too, because why not?

I checked the mail a couple of times, and eventually, Stephen informed me that I needed to get my steps alone, if I were planning to get them (he would not be venturing out today). So I grabbed by earbuds and my phone and headed out the door to appease non-FitBit thingy.

Checked Kelly's website, knowing that there would be two podcasts to keep me moving. Actually read a non-podcast post while walking (with hyper-peripheral-vision vigilance for street crossings!) and then got to enjoy this. Before you close this page (my blog post), PLEASE click on all the links!  Be sure to also open the video of Louis CK; it's fun. Kelly's podcast absolutely spoke to me, primarily because I am NOT the person she and Brooke are talking about. Usually, there is definitely some aspect of my personality that fits, but for this one, I simply related as being the lone "chill" person. But boy, do I know others who will get upset over #FirstWorldProblems!

Once I'd gotten home (and yeah, I "owe" about 19 steps to reach my 10,000 step goal. Don't worry - I should hit that just getting ready for bed), I farted about online some more, deciding what to blog today. I knew I wanted to link Kelly's, but there are some other recent posts that I'd like to direct your attention to as well. Maybe you're not a huge Star Trek:TNG geek like I am. Maybe you are, however, a fan of Wil Wheaton. Maybe you don't even know it yet. He occasionally gets to play a really evil version of himself on shows like Eureka or, more recently, The Big Bang Theory. But he's also an excellent writer, and a downright nice guy who occasionally struggles with Depression and Anxiety. I'm grateful not to suffer from Anxiety. Still, when Wil talks about Depression, I can relate. His blog is here. Check him out if you have any interest in any of the things I just talked about.

Speaking of awesome writers who write about Depression, if you haven't yet started reading Jenny Lawson, then whatthehelliswrongwithyou? She is only one of the most honest and candid bloggers/writers out there, and this post should tell you everything you ever wanted to know about what it feels like to live inside of a Depressed Mind. Once you've decided that you love Jenny, whether as a sufferer of Depression or Anxiety or as someone who supports a sufferer, you'll probably also want to join her Twitter tribe. Yep, it's #TheBloggessTribe.

And lastly, of the blogs I read, I've become fans of a woman who deals more with physical pain in her daily life (but can relate to mental anguish, too). She doesn't post often, and her posts aren't typically very long, but when she does, they pack a punch. You can start reading her here.

This link is to a YouTube page for a chick that I occasionally "follow" on Twitter, and I occasionally watch her "My Drunk Kitchen" videos, because she's fun. She's a little more "out there" than the rest of these links, primarily because she's an unabashed broken person who happens to also be a lesbian. If that ain't makin's for some fun, I don't know what is!

So there's some links for ya. When you come back, won't you comment below? Tell me what you thought; tell me if you've decided to begin "following" any of these; tell me if this will be the last post of mine you'll ever read, because I either drove you away with my sense of what's right, or I sent you into the arms of another lover (or two).

Scrapin' off the rust (Post #500! What the What?!?!)

It took close to TWO hours for me to fall asleep last night, between my continuous coughing and the neighbors celebrating a birthday in the atrium after midnight. I mean, there were CHILDREN up and noisy (with the noisy adults) out there, voices echoing off the pool. Had I not been coughing continuously like a madwoman, I'da stepped out my front door and yelled at them all, for fucks' sake, people are tryin' to sleep, you shitheads, take your damn noise INSIDE! But it seemed pretty pointless, what with not being able to stifle my cough. Oh, well. Eventually, after a cup of sleepy tea, a melatonin, a cup of ginger-n-honey, and three cough drops (neither simultaneously nor consecutive), I finally fell asleep.

No idea what finally allowed Stephen to sleep, altho he did initially go to bed before me.

Slept about eight hours. Had cereal and informed Stephen that my plan for the day included vacuuming everything, including the bed, as well as getting laundry (including bedding) done. I knew he would be writing, so I just needed to know when he'd be writing, so I could work my schedule without disturbing him (like, do the laundry while he was writing). Only other thing I hoped to accomplish was more Rock Band Drums, but it wasn't necessarily a goal for the day.

So that's what we did. He wrote; I did laundry. He finished writing, and we both started with the Spring Cleaning. No coughing all day (also, I bothered to take all my vitamins and claritin). Then we played some Rock Band. I ended up having to calibrate the drum set again and again, because apparently, the wireless signal doesn't communicate properly through the coffee table, so in order to not "miss" a bunch of notes, you gotta give the signal a straight line of "sight", calibrate, and then play. Also, the futon is lower than our old couch, so I found myself sitting too low, and had to prop myself up on an additional pillow. Hrm... :/

Still, we found our groove and earned some stars and trophies. Scraped off a bit of the rust. Then he quit for awhile, to make dinner; he was a bit wiped out, so I created a new band for myself, so I can play when I'm alone without affecting our band scores. Got done creating my all-girl band, the Jaded Bridesmaids from Reykjavik. Got all the girls dressed and made-up, and then "we" played our first couple of gigs. When I was finally ready to quit, we ate dinner.

Now that I'm blogging, Stephen decided to create his "own" band, so that he can practice when I'm not around without affecting "our" band's progress. He's currently playing as a member of the Blazin' Blue Banshees, out of Dublin. He's also playing his THIRD gig, because he's not ready to quit for the night. I'm afraid Rock Band is going to take over our lives. No, I'm not. If it does, there's no fear. ;)

What I didn't do today was get my steps in. Yesterday will be the last day of my "streak". It's already cold and dark, and while I've logged all the "workouts" I did today (laundry and Spring Cleaning), the thingy doesn't really "recognize" them as anything other than "Other". So it's probably going to fuss at me while I'm on set tomorrow. And since I'm booked with my car, I dunno whether I'll get my steps in while I'm on set. Okay, I'm ready. Let it fuss. It's not the boss of me, dammit!

Stephen's just spent some of the moola his new band has earned so that he can be a cool hepcat in whichever band he's playing with. It remains to be seen whether my new "version" of me will carryover when I play as a member of the Delta Butlers again.

So now, I need to prepare some shit for tomorrow, and get to bed at a reasonable hour. Have coughed a little bit tonight, now that the sun has gone down, but hopefully, I'll sleep a little sooner and more soundly than last night.

What are YOU scrapin' the rust off of?

Trying not to be Judgey

Yeah, yeah, Yoda, I know.

Still, it's hard, now that I'm officially unemployed. YES, I am still a Money Magnet (Thank You, Thank You, Thank You). But when Stephen leaves for work on a day I'm not scheduled for anything, he says (in a completely non-judgey way), "try to get outside for a little bit". I know if I find a reason to get out in the world, that while I'm out there, at least, my breathing will be clear, and I'll probably be productive. But there was no reason for me to get out, past the mailboxes, either yesterday or today.

I was expecting to receive my paychecks for those days on set last week. That would have gotten me to the credit union, and then I probably would've swung by Trader Joe's while I was out, because that's part of what makes me, ME. The mail came early enough, both days, but there were no "get out in the world" notifications in the box, so I just came back upstairs.

I haven't washed the dishes or loaded the dishwasher today, and I was planning to try to do that. I didn't work on my crochet project today, and I wanted to try to do that, too. I haven't caught up on all the blogs I read, and there are quite a few, even though I've been trying to do that ever since I left the Bros. I didn't do the tax research I mentioned yesterday. I haven't prepared a lovely dinner for Stephen like I did yesterday (I'm thinking sandwiches, or some other fend-for-yourself).

I checked the Central Casting Facebook notifications, and submitted for appropriate work as it came through. I played a lot of games on my computer and my phone. I read several chapters of Furiously Happy, which I bought oh-so-long-ago and even got signed! ... which has actually led to me trying not to be judgey. The last chapter I read (before posting) was "The Big Quiz". Jenny talks about having imposter syndrome and feeling like she fails at life, even when, to the outside observer, she is SO Winning! I completely related to the chapter, because, duh, I'm unemployed, and I still can't even get myself to load the dishwasher! But I realized that I was being judgey with myself, and that's not fun. So Thank You, Jenny Lawson, a.k.a. @TheBloggess, for reminding me that Today still has

Three Good Things:

1. Submitting for gigs
2. Putting myself on avail for rush calls
3. Reading
4. Staying awake all day
5. Exercising my brain muscles with the games I play
6. Exercising my legs by traversing the stairs to check the mail
7. Cleaning the litter box gets me points, according to Jenny's quiz!
8. I didn't die today (also points in the quiz)
9. I only ever say "liberry" ironically, but I never say "supposeably" or "flustrated", so I'm still taking the quiz points for that one.

Oy. Spell-check knows that "flustrated" is not a word, but it recognizes "liberry" and "supposeably". And now my heart hurts. Not really. But my brain does. Or maybe not. Wait! Do I get points for not punching the assholes at Spell-Check in the neck for approving those non-words? Yay! That's me, WINNING!

So tell me, are you your own worst enemy? Are you actually winning, but for the self-judgment? Or are you MY worst enemy, and you're sitting there judging me RIGHT NOW? ;)

Welcome Back, Denmark and Singapore!

The first time Denmark showed up was more than a year ago. Singapore arrived last August. Don't really remember how long either of you hung around, but it would appear you're back. Stick around! Chime in, on occasion! Thanks for stopping by.

In other news, in case you happen to participate in Friday Fictioneers (by reading or writing or commenting on reading or whatever), then you may be interested in this post I found over at Wil Wheaton's blog.

In OTHER other news, I followed Yoda's command today. I did not TRY to antagonize or aggravate my husband today, but boy, howdy, did I manage to DO it! We're all better now, and he's predicting that he'll be sick in a week or so. Apparently, a week prior to him coming down with something, he'll have a really bad day where he stays in a foul mood, and just about anything that seems to not be going his way, he'll take more personally than on any other day. I blame the weather for his bad day today. I'm predicting no sickness! We all have bad days; I recognize when mine are precursors to Depression. I fight days like today (where it was basically cold and gloomy, you know, normal for January 18th if you live anywhere other than LA) with vitamins C and D, and I try to remember that the Universe is NOT conspiring against me, and no matter how much Stephen or anyone else treads on my last nerve, they are probably just following Yoda's command equally well!

NOT a Resolution

Just a goal, sorta.

Got off the phone with Daddy last night and realized while I was helping him set a goal for this year, that I had already set a goal for myself.

I'm not much of a "goals oriented" person. I've always hated when motivational speakers tell you that you have to create an action plan before you can take action; that you have to have goals to achieve before you can really achieve anything.

I'm one of those "the road to Hell is paved with good intentions" people, meaning, I'm not letting my good intentions get in the way of me doing stuff.

But I did realize that I had already set a goal for myself, for the year 2016. I want to post something here, on my blog, Every. Day. I want my post list to number 366 on the 31st of December. I know that some of those posts will likely be written ahead of time (as this one is actually being written "last night", since I already posted "yesterday"). I know that some of these posts may even stack up, so that I write more than one post in a day, so I can "get ahead" in my goal achievement. I'm okay with that.

The goal is to POST something worth reading Every. Single. Day. of 2016.

Whether I succeed or fail is immaterial. If I succeed, then I imagine I will have accomplished something worlds beyond writing 100,000 words (or however many words that results in). I will have accomplished something worlds beyond a monthly (or more frequent) Friday Fictioneers or Photo Phriday or a completely green map in my stats. I will have disciplined myself to carry out a goal. That will be an amazing accomplishment.

If I fail, but I keep this goal in a little pocket in a corner of my brain, then I will still succeed. If I fail outright, without keeping the goal in mind, then I will have succeeded in weeding out a stupid goal. No matter what, I WIN.

So, do you have resolutions or goals of any kind for 2016? Are you willing to share them in the comments below? Do you feel the way I do, in that, whether you succeed or fail, you will still WIN? Can we keep each other accountable here?

The Year in Review

I better hurry up and get this posted, before it's 2016!

Without reviewing my entire sidebar, because, yeah, I can get distracted by it, I'll tell you what I remember I did this year.

Blogged. Not nearly enough. Read other blogs, and commented where appropriate. Wrote some short fiction. Not nearly enough.

Worked as an admin at a dance studio, and danced a little. Not nearly enough.

Swam in a heated pool for the bulk of the summer, and then the management ceased to heat the pool, so Swimming = Not. Nearly. Enough.

Worked as a background actor, here and there. Not nearly enough.

Encouraged Stephen to expand his kitchen repertoire and then harassed him about the cleanliness of the kitchen. Ate a lot of really good food, lovingly prepared and beautifully arranged. Complimented the chef Not Nearly Enough.

Script Supervised an amazing short film in 2014, and this year, got to attend some premieres. Script Supervised a single day of shooting for a youtube series, in which we shot 26 5/8 pages in that single day. Both of these Scripty gigs were amazing accomplishments, for very different reasons, but I Scripty'd Not. Nearly. Enough. this year.

Hung out with friends. Not nearly enough.

Got hired on at Warner Bros. as a tour guide and had good days and bad days, and This Week seems to have turned things around from, say, that last post where I thought I was losing it. Don't think I can make a "not nearly enough" statement about the Bros. There's definitely a good balance between the Bros. and the rest of the things I do.

Consumed my ever-expanding weight in wine and chocolate. Worked out to keep that weight under control not nearly enough.

Missed Mommy. Missed Daddy and my siblings. Missed the nieces and nephews (and great-nieces). Skyped and emailed and phoned. Said "I love you". Cried a lot; laughed a lot. Coughed a lot.

Not that I ever make "resolutions", but I think if our return from North Carolina was supposed to make 2015 the year of "saying yes", then I have just decided, for myself, at least, that 2016 shall be the year of "enough". Obviously, in the best way possible. I managed to strike a good balance between the Bros. and all the other fun since May, so that's the only one that reached "enough", and in a good way. For 2016, I shall attempt to strike good balances between each of the other fun stuff AND all the other fun, so that everything can be "enough".

Has "enough" ever been a goal worthy of setting for you? How did you manage to get "enough"? And oh, Happy New Year. See you in 2016!

Friday Fictioneers - E48 South Main

My thanks, as always, to Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for hosting.

PHOTO PROMPT © C.E. Ayr

Friday Fictioneers - E48 South Main - 100 words

I loved these shoes. They looked cool, and they hadn't cost me a cent, handed down from a friend who always spent good money on good clothing. When she was finished with something, she'd give it away to a similarly-sized friend who loved hand-me-downs.

Lucky me!

But this pair developed a squeak, and I couldn't for my life find the source of the squeak. They were such fun to wear, except for that squeak. Clearly, I had to find a similarly-sized new friend out on the street! (I hadn't noticed that pegleg when we met at her cardboard box; hmm... )