WTF did I/we just watch?

Honestly, I'm a bit flabbergasted by this year's Awards Season Screeners. Most of what I've watched, whether alone or with Stephen, has garnered ^THAT^ reaction (the title of this post, um, duh... keep up, kids!)

Here's a short review of stuff I've seen recently (either alone or with Stephen):

the website from whence we stream... no, you may NOT have the url!

the big sick: IMDb says "Pakistan-born comedian Kumail Nanjiani and grad student Emily Gardner fall in love but struggle as their cultures clash. When Emily contracts a mysterious illness, Kumail finds himself forced to face her feisty parents, his family's expectations, and his true feelings." We saw this film at the DGA (maybe?) a couple(-ish?) months ago. We both liked it; we'll probably go ahead and watch it again when we receive our physical screener, or possibly from the website ^. It's good. It's worth your time. Holly Hunter is pretty damn phenomenal. I don't believe the film will be nominated for a Best Picture Oscar. It does tell a pretty good race-relations/healthcare story. It's not about standup comedy, though. See it, if you get a chance.

Call Me By Your Name: IMDb says "In Northern Italy in 1983, seventeen year-old Elio begins a relationship with visiting Oliver, his father's research assistant, with whom he bonds over his emerging sexuality, their Jewish heritage, and the beguiling Italian landscape." I watched this alone. WTF did I watch? Why is it set in Italy? Why in 1983? Why must Elio be a minor, or Jewish, or half-Italian? I didn't understand; maybe you will, if what IMDb tells you (or any trailers, maybe) interest(s) you enough to give it a viewing. I almost stopped watching multiple times, because I was, frankly, bored.

Darkest Hour: IMDb says "During the early days of World War II, the fate of Western Europe hangs on the newly-appointed British Prime Minister Winston Churchill, who must decide whether to negotiate with Hitler, or fight on against incredible odds." I saw this in a theater and then really wanted to see it again with captions, because Gary Oldman as Winston Churchill mumbles probably as much as Winston really did in real life. It's good. It's a Winston Churchill biopic! Do you like Winston Churchill? Do you have an interest in World War II? See it. I recommend subtitles/captions, if possible (like I had access to on the ^website^)

Disaster: IMDb says "When Greg Sestero, an aspiring film actor, meets the weird and mysterious Tommy Wiseau in an acting class, they form a unique friendship and travel to Hollywood to make their dreams come true." I've already reviewed this fucking thing for you! #WhatTheAbsoluteFUCKDidIJustWatch?

Downsizing: IMDb says "A social satire in which a man realizes he would have a better life if he were to shrink himself to five inches tall, allowing him to live in wealth and splendor." I've already reviewed this fun thing for you! #SeeItAlready

The Florida Project: IMDb says "Set over one summer, the film follows precocious six-year-old Moonee as she courts mischief and adventure with her ragtag playmates and bonds with her rebellious but caring mother, all while living in the shadows of Disney World." Oh. Is THAT what it was "about"? No, seriously. You can tell me. #WhatTheFuckDidIJustWatch? Some boring-ass shit, with a fine performance by Willem Defoe. But, um, yeah. NO.

Lady Bird: IMDb says "In the early 2000s, an artistically-inclined seventeen year-old comes of age in Sacramento, California." I haven't seen this one yet, but based on this IMDb pitch, I am not looking forward to it. Don't worry; I WILL watch it. I'm really hoping I don't hate it as much as I hated some of these on this list.

Roman J. Israel, Esq.: IMDb says "Roman J. Israel, Esq., a driven, idealistic defense attorney, finds himself in a tumultuous series of events that lead to a crisis and the necessity for extreme action." I watched this one alone, the other day. It was really wordy. REALLY wordy. Denzel is great, playing a savant, I guess. He has an immense legal vocabulary; and an immense propensity to speak it. It's sometimes hard to keep up with him, frankly. And since I don't have an immense legal vocabulary, it was a bit ... much? to watch. If you like legal dramas, or Denzel Washington, or social activism, then go ahead and bother to see it. #NotMyCuppa

The Shape of Water: IMDb says "In a 1960s research facility, Elisa, a mute janitor, forms a relationship with a mysterious aquatic creature." We watched this one just the other night, and we both wondered #WhatTheFuckDidWeJustWatch? It's been explained to me by a mutual friend that it's actually a social commentary. The primary "heroic" characters are a WOC, a "disabled" woman, a gay man, a myth, and a Communist. The hero "of the day" (the straight, white, powerful man in charge) is actually a sick, twisted FUCK. All of these things may be true, but they didn't make us enjoy the (nonexistent) "story". If you have interest in these role "reversals", then maybe you'll enjoy the film, so, go ahead and see it.

Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri: IMDb says "A mother personally challenges the local authorities to solve her daughter's murder when they fail to catch the culprit." THIS IS OUR PICK FOR BEST PICTURE! Seriously, kids. We just watched it, before I started this particular blog post. You've seen the trailers, and you're pretty interested in seeing it. You should DEFINITELY see it. We only knew, from the trailers, that we're meant to sympathize/empathize with Frances McDormand's character. We have no idea what her angst is, but we know there's some kind of big trauma. We didn't know that we would also really like Woody Harrelson. Or just about any of the other characters. We didn't know that Sam Rockwell's character would go through so much. There were numerous twists throughout, and we were fairly #EdgeOfOurSeats watching it. We laughed A LOT. We cringed quite a bit. We were shocked at least a couple of times. I refuse to tell you anything else. Just Go See This Film.

There you have it. ^THAT^ is WTF I/we just watched. Any questions or rebuttals?

Mommy's Birthday

I went adventuring with my boss/friend again yesterday, and I *had* to buy these

new bowls

, because reasons. Since #NewGearIsDirtyGear, Stephen loaded them into the dishwasher today and ran it. Once everything was clean and dry, my task was to find space in our cabinets for them.

I managed.

They're going to be great. We're both looking forward to eating cereal, soup, and salad from them.

But all day, I've been reminded that it's Mommy's Birthday, and I have things to do to distract me from my grief, and also things to do BECAUSE it happens to be the 28th. Ya see, I cracked my laptop screen... I tried to get the Geek Squad to fix it for me, because #WarrantyMaybe? but they would've had my system for at least a week before they'd even know if HP would cover any part of it, and then another 2-3 weeks to fix it.

*A Month Is A Long Time Without A Computer, Yo*

So I've been using the monitor from my old desktop, and it's worked not too badly. But today is Mommy's Birthday. It's also the last day of any warranty coverage on my HP laptop. So I have to go to Fry's to see if I can purchase and install a new LCD Display (screen?), or else take it to the Geek Squad at Best Buy and be without for a month, in the hopes that HP will, in fact, cover some of the repair/replace.

It's already almost 5 o'clock. I gotta get outta here!

UPDATE: Fry's can't sell me the part I need. Dude estimated it'd cost anywhere from 100 - 800 bux online! #WhatTheWhat? So I'll continue using HDMI cables.

Too meta? Or just too big? Blogging via tv?

Happy Mommy's Birthday, everyone who remembers Mommy and commemorates it.

The things I'll do for you... sheesh

I sincerely hope that you're supremely #Grateful to me. I just saved you two hours of your life (or 4, if you were planning on seeing The Room before you see The Disaster Artist). I just streamed the latter. It was gawd-awful. I've heard The Room is worse. I'm not going to watch it to find out. The Disaster Artist is essentially a biopic about Tommy Wiseau, the producer/director/writer/"star" of The Room. James Franco portrays him pretty closely to the real deal. He was very annoying for me to watch and listen to, and multiple times in my screening, I was ready to turn it all off and opt for Three Billboards or The Shape of Water instead.

But I know Stephen wants to watch both of those, and that he does NOT want to watch The Disaster. So I watched it alone. For him. For YOU. You're welcome.

Save your money or spend it on a movie you WANT to see. Spend it on something that won't drain two hours of your valuable life away. Really. I'm not kidding.

*I did watch the credits, to wonder why so many big names wanted to participate in this shlock. There were a lot of big names attached. Tommy Wiseau was also given a part, but I didn't see him. I let the credits roll and came over to this page, only returning when I heard his actual voice. He's in an Easter Egg scene at the very end of the movie. He's really horrible, but I guess Franco is a fan, and offered him the part. He's playing a character, while Franco plays him.

The end credits and that closing scene are NOT WORTH sitting through the entire movie for! Don't do it! I'm not kidding!

Or did you already see it, and love it, somehow? I don't care. If you want to write a five-star review, go ahead and do it on your own blog. This is my blog, and I give this film five poop emojis.

I made some new friends today!

Because I was On Set, yay!

I had an issue with my service two weeks ago. They neglected to inform me of a booking, and so I missed a day on set because I just didn't know. Y'all KNOW my feelings about my "job". Any Day On Set Is A Good Day. I love working in film and television! So I was a bit miffed about missing that day of work, and also a teensy bit anxious that my standing at Central Casting may have slipped. After that missed day, I needed to get booked again. Kinda like that day I drove 8 hours (round trip) in North Carolina to work in one scene of a show (Sleepy Hollow), a scene that was edited in such a way that none of us were seen, up in that choir loft. Didn't matter; I was grateful for the work. Even at minimum wage, paid essentially for my drive so I could work the 3 or 4 hours for FREE.

So, two days ago, there was another phone-in casting call that I was appropriate for, so I set my two phones to redialing. After ~200-250 calls, I made it through! The casting director was happy to book me, but since it was two days later, I was technically only "on hold", until I got the info from another casting director yesterday.

I got the info! I was to be parked downtown at 7:30 this morning! Woo Hoo! I love those early calls! I love location calls! No traffic, and breakfast, to boot! Score! #Blessed

It was cooooooooooooooooold this morning! We were all dressed for spring! One young lady, for whom it was her First Day Ever, was dressed in the cutest sandals you could want, but her poor tootsies were turning blue whilst we ate! Thankfully, the lovely wardrobe gal opted for new chick's short booties. She was also wearing a cute sundress, but this is LA, and there are numerous opportunities to wear conflicting weather clothing simultaneously.

We ate our breakfasts. We got checked in. We got approved by wardrobe. We sat in holding. They described our short (yay!) day for us, and when some folks went to work the first bit, the rest of us stayed behind to talk biz. In addition to #FirstDayEvahGirl, there was also a #ThirdDayEvahGuy. I and another vet were doing our best to give FDEG and TDEG our best advice on survival as a background artiste. We had plenty of time.

When they called us to set, we still had plenty of time to continue our tutelage. It was a very informative day. I recalled my early days, back when I insulted the color green with all my greenliness. I recalled tips I'd picked up along the way. TDEG kept complimenting me, telling me I should write a book; this was a Master Class, and he was #Grateful for the instruction. #SorryNotSorry, but I don't want to write a book. I write a BLOG. You're here, reading it now. Yes, TDEG, even YOU are reading it! #winkyface

Ennyhoo, it felt good to be back in the instructor seat, considering how much I long to just be working. I gave the other vet a ride home, and we discussed a lot about a lot. I have three new friends that I met on set today! I sure hope we meet on set again, real soon. I'm interested to find out what new things they'll have picked up by the time we meet again, since it will surely be next year before that even happens!

Since so many of the friends I have anymore are online only, it felt good to make new friends in real life. When's the last time you made a real connection, either irl or online? How easy has it been to maintain that connection?

downsizing

is something that we all do, from time to time, at critical points in our lives. Breaking points, maybe? Growth spurts?

When I escaped North Carolina the FIRST time, I moved ALL of my possessions out of the house I co-owned with my first husband. I'd already sold my motorcycle, so I left behind the house, the boats, and "his" stuff. I only downsized my life at that point by cutting my possessions in half, essentially. But with Mommy's and Cheryl's help, I packed that half into a U-Haul and toted it to Florida, and then re-packed and toted it across the country to California when the time came. That growth spurt spanned several months. It wasn't really a downsize, though.

Mommy and I ended up sharing a studio apartment for the next 6 months, with a household's worth of stuff filling it. Moving out of the studio into a two-bedroom shared with a roommate was just a transfer of the stuff. Moving out of the two-bedroom into my one-bedroom duplex was still just a transfer of stuff. Combining households with Stephen into a two-bedroom wasn't exactly a downsize, either. We managed to find a space that would accommodate all the stuff we had, and ADD living room furniture!

Then his dad got The Cancers, and what with all of my industry being so wonky and his gig as a waiter being completely unfulfilling, we moved across the country. Since we thought we were moving for good, the only stuff that didn't make it across was whatever just wouldn't fit into that overpacked PackRat moving container and my Honda Civic. A smallish downsize - things like a bicycle or an end table; little awkward shapes.

Once in North Carolina again, we of course accumulated replacement stuff. But we realized fairly quickly that we'd misread the industry signs and miscommunicated with family, etc. We had to get home. So we downsized for reals this time. Multiple trips to the flea market, local ads, Amazon and Ebay got rid of stuff we didn't need and filled our moving fund. We did it!

Once we got back into a one-bedroom apartment, we quickly acquired new replacement stuff. So we're not hurting for stuff. We could use a downsize, if only to declutter. But we're not at any critical breaking point or growth spurt, so we'll probably just keep accumulating.

So would you like a review of the movie downsizing? We got our list of screeners to stream, and that was one we've both been looking forward to. We figured out how to stream on the television last night (connect the computer via HDMI, duh), and watched it first!

We loved this movie. However, the trailers you've seen don't really set up your expectations properly. I'm not going to spoil it, though. The story is funny and poignant and hits quite a few political buttons (not party, just issues). The actors are great. Hong Chau is a delight. The effects are seamless, and the film is full of little "easter eggs" that remind you of where you are ("big" world or "small"). I'm talking dollar bill artwork. Don't worry, that's just my own little tease; not a spoiler.

I stated at the beginning of our viewing that I'd like to downsize (in the scale of the film) if that technology ever becomes a thing. Stephen countered with caution; let's see what happens. Yeah, I'd still like to do it, if it ever becomes a thing. The movie can be our "life instruction manual"! So should you see it? Are you just stupid, or did you take lessons? DUH. See This Film.

ANOTHER test FAILED

Since I read a bunch of other blogs, I have an account with WordPress. I never created a blog there, because, back in the day when I was an admin at the Arthur Murray Dance Studio, I had to maintain the business blog on a weekly/semi-weekly basis, and since it's a WordPress account, I had to learn my way around. I hated it. Like, that was one of my dreaded tasks. I managed to do it, but it never was any fun. So here we are, in blogspot, which is part of the Google realm.

But after my multiple vlog-attempt failures and my uploading of just audio failure the other day, I thought, "what if WordPress will 'host' my media, and I could just link it here?"... so I created a free WordPress site to host my media.

... except WordPress won't host audio or video for free. It's eight bucks a month for me to have a page to hold all of that crap. I'm not at the point where I'm ready to pay a monthly fee just to make my crap accessible to the world. Once I've figured out how to get a VO agent and/or a home studio and/or self-promote (#RunAwayRunAway), then I'm sure I'll be forking over a reasonable monthly fee to do just that.

For now, it'll just have to be the written word on the page.

Unless you have another suggestion for me?

A new test ... of my patience, among other things

{It didn't fucking work.  DAMMIT!}

Yesterday, I went to the Don LaFontaine VoiceOver Lab at the SAG-AFTRA building. This is one of the many benefits I gain from the SAG-AFTRA Foundation, a separate non-profit entity from my union. I don't have to pay anything for the benefits I receive from the Foundation, and once I'm in a place to be philanthropic, I shall most definitely make charitable donations to them. In the meantime, I volunteer my time for the screenings, which I am currently able to afford (my time).

So yesterday at the DLF VO Lab, I was participating in a Commercial Workout. I've done these a few times over the past year or so, and they're usually a fun way to practice technique. QUALIFIERS to participate are spelled out very clearly in the event details: bring in 2 pieces of commercial copy, have worked in the solo booth > 0 times, have taken the pre-requisite "intro" bundle, cancel by midnight the night before. Usually, there's only one poor sap who didn't read the rules correctly, if at all, so that one poor sap gets a good public berating. My first Commercial Workout, I was that poor sap. I didn't read the requirements, so I had no copy. To offset my public berating, though, there was another participant who had plenty of copy to share. Thank you, kind voice actor whose name I've long since forgotten.

But yesterday, there were only 6 of us signed up, versus the usual 8-12 voice actors we get in there. We'll get in the booth, read thru the copy once, get feedback from the group, read it again, get feedback, and read it a third time. One person at a time, through the whole group. Take a break and then start up again on the second piece of copy. With 8-12 people in the group, it takes roughly 2 hours to get in a good workout. But yesterday, there were only 6 people on the list. So we shoulda flown through our copy, and maybe even had a chance at a third piece, right?

Remember I mentioned QUALIFIERS, though? Of the six of us, I was the Only Qualified Participant. Two dudes didn't even show up, nor had they canceled or called or emailed or begged forgiveness for running super late or whatever. STRIKE! Two chicks hadn't done any time in the solo booth at all, nor had they taken the prerequisite intro class. STRIKE! But at least they brought copy. The last dude didn't even read the confirmation email or any of the details, so he'd done zero time in a booth, hadn't taken the intro, and brought no copy. STRIKE THREE! YER OUTTA THERE! ... or, well, if it'd been up to me, I guess. Sadly, no, all three strikes were allowed to walk the bases.

We spent the bulk of the two hours discussing home studio setup and getting an agent and using the software and practicing at home or in the solo booth, rather than "working out". We did the "workout", but being the only qualified member of the participant pool meant I was also the only one who knew #WhatTheAbsoluteFuck I was doing, both at the mic and in giving feedback. Had I not also booked an hour in the main booth with an engineer that day, I would have left feeling like I'd completely wasted my time. I was not a happy camper, kids. Nor was the dude who runs the show. We commiserated. If you don't follow written directions, how is one to expect you to take direction when you book a gig? Unh Unh Unh... nopity nope nope nope.

BUT, I also booked time in the main booth! I spent the first half-hour or so reading the first chapter of Stephen's WIP* book. Then the engineer gave me some feedback, and I read the second chapter, trying to follow the direction she'd given. As we were listening to the recordings, she was speed-editing room tone in over my breaths, as well as removing my flubs, so the two chapters "sound" like they flow, for the most part. I was in awe of her skilz, and asked how long it took her to get so fast. She was, like, eh... it's just muscle-memory. So, cool. She asked if I'm also a writer, and I indicated #NoHellNoButIDoBlog. She wanted to "hear" my blog, so I read the last entry for her. She enjoyed it, I think? and said "You NEED to have that. Recorded. I don't know what you'll ever use it for, but let's DO that. Let's record it. Now."

So she threw the site up on the big screen in the main booth, set up the mic that faces the screen, and we recorded it! It's my blog, in my voice! Saved to a flash drive so I can hear it again and again, and If Blogspot Will Allow It, for you to hear it, too! So that is the test of my patience... before I typed a single word in this space today, I told blogspot to upload a ... video. Because there's no option to upload only audio. So I'm trying to upload it, and it's saying that it's doing it, but I have no idea whether anything at all will load. If it does, it'll be the first thing on this page. If you want to listen and read along, then you'll have to open the whole site (as opposed to just this post), click "play", and then scroll down to the post before this one.

It's a test. A survey, of sorts. Would you rather A) READ me, in YOUR voice, B) LISTEN to MY voice, or C) READ me whilst LISTENING? If you're here, reading me already, then I know the answer is not D) None of the Above. Thank you for that. ... so now, do I wait the unknowable interminable epoch for the "video" to load? or just hit "publish", and try a second time, to see if somehow an "update" will be quicker than the first upload? Seriously. It's taking forever. Wah. I've decided to do the latter, having already waited a millenia for the former. Here's the post; hopefully, there will be an update, soonish, with the link!
* work in progress