Wednesday, June 15, 2016

Reviews

The Guardian: this movie is a decade old, but we didn't realize that when we started watching it a few nights ago. The main things we noticed were the "legitimate-armed-services vs. 'lite'-armed-services" comparisons. I was, in 8th grade, enlisted (?) in the Civil Air Patrol. I, and all of my compadres, knew that this was "Air Force Lite". I have come to realize, by virtue of watching "The Guardian", that there is No Such Thing as "Marine Lite" altho the National Guard is (probably) considered "Army Lite" by those who enlist in the Actual US Army, and the Coast Guard is (definitely) considered "Navy Lite" by those who enlist in the Actual US Navy. Let's start this movie review assuming the aforementioned to be "true".  The Guardian is Top Gun Lite. If you know and love the Tom Cruise original and/or you have any positive feelings about Kevin Costner and/or Ashton Kutcher, then you will probably enjoy The Guardian. Look for those "Top Gun Lite" moments! Make a drinking game out of it, if you must! It's not a bad movie, per se, it's just simply "Lite". Please comment on the results of your drinking game.

Room With a View: this movie was pretty much our ''go-to" relive our college years 'go-to' favorite A-list Big Name Of The Era (OMG look at how YOUNG ____ is!) romantic movie. I always knew I'd get to visit Venice, or possibly Florence, and stay in a Room with a View. We LOURVVVVVVED this movie, Back in the Day. Here's what I noticed THIS time around:
OMG, Maggie Smith has NARY a facial wrinkle! What, is she merely FORTY? (she was 50, by the time this was released)
OMG, look at how young and "vibrant" Helena Bonham Carter and Julian Sands and Daniel Day "My Left Foot" Fucking LEWIS are!
OMG, is that really "M", Dame Judi Dench? (Also, only 50+ at release) And is it possible that I know "little brother" from the Cumberbatch/Freeman "Sherlock"? REALLY? Did we NOT also realize he was in "V for Vendetta" and "The Madness of King George"?
And WHEN THE HELL did this script get So Incredibly Fucking FUNNY? Seriously, this time around, we laughed our Fucking Asses Off. Amazing, what a decade (or THREE) can do. This has become my NEW "go-to" relive our college years 'go-to' favorite A-list Big Name of the Era (OMG look at how YOUNG _____ is!) romantic movie. If you NEED an 80's movie that ISN'T a John Hughes movie to fill this particular bill, you can't go wrong with this one.

The Canna (Skin and Foot) Spa: I was having pain in my left arch. I Googled "reflexology near me" and found two places (very near me) where I might relieve that pain. One of the two places offered massages and reflexology, for $X. Not too many reviews, but they were proud of their "Thai environment". The other place, also not very far from home, had 4.9 out of 5 stars, on A Lot of reviews, for various services, including reflexology, and "great value for the price". The only "negative" I found in any review was "Seriously; they speak NO ENGLISH". This is the one I opted for. Outside the front door, there were two posted "specials" I could have chosen from, and since I was mostly dealing with FOOT pain, I could have easily stuck with my "no more than $25" plan and simply gotten the One-Hour Reflexology (Foot + Other) Massage. But I'd felt a slight "twinge" in my back as well, and I had yet to spend all of my Birthday Mailbox Money. So I opted for the slightly-longer "full-body plus reflexology" massage for twice the price. Forty Bux for Full Body? Sue Me. (Thank you, Daddy Dear!)

Thank you, Thailand, for sending tiny little petite gals who don't have an ounce of bodyfat on their bodies, and yet, they are as strong as oxen and have the upper-body and shoulder strength to prove it, to America, specifically the San Fernando Valley, California, to work the tension out of all our little #FirstWorldProblems that we carry in our "anywhere". "Kylee" was amazing. I'm sure that's not her real name. She spoke zero English. I wasn't even sure how "naked" to get for my full body massage (completely, as it turns out, or to whatever degree I'm comfortable with, which, as it turns out, would be "completely"). Had an amazing massage in a private room with "traditional Thai jazz" playing that would be completely non-distracting, and then moved out fully dressed (in shorts and tank top) to the "common" area for the reflexology portion. The music in the completely-devoid-of-other-customers common area was "easy listening" or "light jazz", the sort of music you might hear being played by a live pianist in the lobby of a mid-to-high -end hotel chain. No vocals, just all piano. From Every. Era. Since the Beginning. Of. Time. We're talking SERIOUS "Easy Listening". The first song I heard, I recognized, and it immediately evoked Grandma: "The Shadow of Your Smile". This song is so old, I wasn't sure if it was The Shadow of your LOVE, your LIFE, or something else entirely. Yes, I recognized it immediately, and yes, it reminded me of Grandma. There were no lyrics, and I had to do Everything In My Power not to lose the tune All Day so as to be able to report on it later. In fact, I made Stephen PAUSE the next thing so I could find it on YouTube (no, the linked version is not the version I heard, but it's certainly jazzy) first to verify it!:

The New Top Gear (BBCAmerica): Okay, so we love Jeremy and James and Richard, and YES, we always loved them better than their American counterparts (because seriously, it was the Same Exact Show except in front of a Live Audience that Wasn't Allowed to Sit Down). But Jeremy apparently said some things that didn't jibe with the BBC, and so he was fired, and James and Richard said "if he's fired so are WE" and the BBC took them up on their offer, and so now there will be a new show with Jeremy and James and Richard (YAY) on some other network, but there's also still a new "Top Gear": We've watched the first three episodes. We absolutely LOURRVVVVE (seriously, can we LOVE him more than emoticons allow? #AskingForAFriend #BlogspotDisallowsEmoticons) Matt LeBlanc on this show. It is as if the show were always written for him. His "co-host" (who is actually the "primary" host) Chris Evans (no, not the CaptainAmericaChrisEvansThatWeAllKnowAndSecretlyPineFor, but some tiny little British Ginger Chris "Evans" that we've never heard of) is scripted as if he could ever possibly hope to deliver Jeremy's lines in nearly as deadpan or snarky a way but SeriouslyNeverCould. They keep adding "additional members" - who manage to round out the missing "Mythbusters" Build Team (which is the Full Entire Reason We've Quit Watching That Show: How Do You Fire The Build Team and Keep The Viewership, Mythbusters?) so we're still deciding which "extraneous" members are fun to watch? Chris is okay, but Matt should be the Primary Host, and Chris should be his Co-, and eventually the BBC will settle on a Secondary Co- (we think/we hope).

I started this post LATE last night. I'm SO GLAD I didn't hit "Publish" until I'd had a chance to proof it. So now, I'll "review" myself:

"My use of quotation marks": TERRIBLE! Stephen I and took a walk together today, and we passed a sign outside of a business that said "WE ARE" OPEN! Come on in! I then spent the next block of walking, doing air quotes, trying to explain exactly what the signwriter had "meant". HA!
MY USE OF CAPITAL LETTERS: "just awful" - have I forgotten how much I love the bold and italic modes of emphasis? Or the occasional underline?
MyUseOfSpaces, or LackThereof: again, I think I may have just been farting around with new modes of emphasis. #Don'tHurtMe

That's all for this post. I know, no photos today. But we can't always have pretty pictures to look at while we're tryin'aread. Tough Noogies. Have you anything to add?

6 comments:

  1. Damn - now I want to go watch "A Room With a View" again - I haven't seen it in YEARS.

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    1. I know, RIGHT? It really had been an incredibly long time for us, and what a joy to revisit.

      Do It. :)

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  2. Yay! A movie I haven't watched that I just KNOW I'm going to love because of your excellent review. Really wish now that we'd gone for that massage/reflexology thingy while I was in town. Next time for sure.

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    1. Wait. You haven't seen A Room With a View? How did you miss that one? Or were you planning on making a drinking game of Top Gun Lite? ;)

      Now that you're back home, there are more and more items of interest that I would have hit with you, given more time. Hindsight, huh? "Next Time" sounds good to me!

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    2. Room With a View is the movie I'm putting on my list. I don't give a rat's ass about Top Gun - lite or not. But I love me some Brits in films.

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    3. Well, you may or may not laugh your ass off, but it's available on Netflix if you wanna watch it tonight and then tell me how much you love it.

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