Saturday, May 14, 2016

Best Opening Sequence. EVER. Plus, other surprising movie review(s).

You remember that time we tried to see Deadpool in a theater, and we found out that if you don't get there seriously first thing in the morning prior to noon, you don't get the "matinee" ticket price? So we waited it out, and Stephen picked it up on Blu-Ray today.

We. Laughed. Our. Asses. Off. Tonight. But in addition to this being the Funniest "Ex-Man" movie, it starts RIGHT OFF at the Very Initial Beginning, with the Opening Credit Sequence. Just a hint: this is "some Douchebag's film" starring "God's Perfect Idiot" and it (both the opening credits AND the movie itself) is FULL of "Easter Eggs" (if you're even remotely familiar with Ryan Reynold's sense of humor). Ah, hell. Here it is, for your enjoyment:
We kept laughing. This movie is fucked up, but if you like comics, superhero stuff, really vulgar and/or nasty and/or violent crazy shit with an awesome soundtrack (DOWNSIDE: the lyrics to the amazingly appropriate soundtrack is NOT captioned so you actually have to LISTEN during the montages). then you will Enjoy. The. Fuck. Out. Of. It. As. Much. As. We. Just. Did. No lie. Seven out of Five Stars.

But here's another review; probably one you were not expecting:
Jurassic World. Another reboot, right? With Chris Pratt, today's latest "It Boy" starring as a combo of all the scientist-shmientists we had in the first two, right?

Oh, Em, Gee. No, it is NOT any of that. Three Good Things:
  1. It is a GOOD standalone science-gone-rogue-dinosaur-sculpting-scientists movie about scientists who STILL haven't learned from all of the mistakes that were made by their predecessors (or B.D. Wong's character, who managed to survive for at least 20 years, and has still not learned from his OWN fucking mistakes)
  2. Chris Pratt does, in fact, play not only a Good Guy, but also a scientist who is Up Against It and is Doing His Best to HELP.
  3. The kids, while annoying at first, really do grow on you. You pretty much know, all along, which characters are the Wayne Knight and Sam Jackson (definitely gonna die) characters, but at least one or two of the deaths happen in a surprising way. There is honestly nothing to hate about this movie, and it got such bad reviews, and did so poorly in theaters! I really wish we had known Steven Spielberg's involvement when it was out, because Has He Made A Bad Movie YET? I really Think Not.
Last "review": We bought X-Men: Days of Future Past, The Rogue Cut. I've mentioned this one already, but I haven't yet really "reviewed" it. When Stephen was picking up Deadpool today, Rogue Cut was also on sale, so he snagged it, too. I honestly don't have anything new to say yet, because I don't know what I can add to my previous comments. We haven't looked at the new disk today. I'm betting that there's got to be some additional stuff I can comment on, but it's already 10:30-ish tonight. I doubt we're gonna break that seal tonight (we're still actually watching the extras on Deadpool Right NOW). I'll give it a full review once we've had a chance to look it over, which will likely happen in the next couple of days.

UPDATE as of 11:30-ish: I just remembered what I forgot to mention about all of these movies: No. Noticeable. Handheld Camera Work. What that means is, if they used it, they used it the way it's meant to be used: SUBTLY.  Bonus points for any film that either DOESN'T use it, or uses it so discreetly I don't have to notice. YAY!

Have you seen anything I have yet to review? Any recommendations for something you'd LIKE me to review?


  1. We just watched Deadpool (followed by XMen Origins: Wolverine followed by Green Lantern) Friday night (what can I say? We were on a serious Ryan Reynolds kick) and I could not agree more. Your assessment is spot on. We had already watched Jurassic World (Brian has been a fan from the first Jurassic movie and I have been forced to fall in love with the series against my will) and also love it. When we were at the zoo yesterday, I kept referencing it (at the tiger cage and the bear cage because - plexiglass). I love all movies XMen so I will always recommend them (even if they're shit) but, as always, James McAvoy has that accent and, well, Hugh Jackman, so what's a grown-ass woman with a thing for foreign tongues to do, really? Am I right? You may or may not enjoy it, but I will watch any movie that may or may not have Jean-Luc Picard, past or future, crippled or not so I may not be a really good judge of movies, but keep the reviews coming, sis. I love reading what true Hollywood thinks about the stuff I want to see. <3

    1. Um, yeah, I can't argue with your logic. Tight asses in spandex AND dialects? I'm probably watching it.

      Re: Patrick Stewart (yes, I still find him yummy), if you haven't seen his TV-Movie (I really think it wasn't made for wide release, so you'll probably have to hunt for it), check out Safe House. I won't spoil it for you. Don't read anything about it before you watch, either. No plot summaries. Just watch; it's really good.

      Not that I was able to watch much of Jeffrey, the 1995 Steven Weber vehicle that he's also very present in. I think "True Hollywood" loved that one. Maybe I could handle it now; not then.

      Thanks for READING and COMMENTING! I miss our repartee here.

  2. Yes Deadpool was awesome. I own the Steelbook Bluray cause that's all I buy now.

    A Steven Speilberg movie that sucks...Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull. What a pile of garbage. Although to his defense that was more George Lucas's fault then his. And he did go on record saying he asked George to change some things and George said no. In any case, I disagree with your review on Jurassic World. It was ok, but so lame. I mean, come on...the ending. SPOILER WARNING FOR THOSE WHO HAVEN'T SEEN THE MOVIE!!! Two ferocious dinosaurs not only "team up", but after defeating the bigger dino, look at the humans and go..."no, don't worry, we're not going to tear you apart, take care now, bye bye...". That was terrible. There were some other dumb parts, but that was one of the main bad parts for me.

    1. I don't know what "Steelbook Blu-ray" is... we buy whichever one is on sale and has the most extra stuff on it (biggest bang for our buck).

      Well, okay, if we're going back to Indiana Jones, then I'd suggest the one with Kate Capshaw as unwatchable. The dinos at the end of Jurassic World didn't DECIDE to let the humans go; they were still engrossed in their own fight. There was only the ONE raptor left that DID have a connection with ONE human. The humans escaped as they were able to, they weren't "let go" by the dinos.

    2. Aw, no way. Temple of Doom was awesome. The Crystal Skull was much much worse.

      And come on. The T-rex turned to the humans and then turned away to go do the end roar. That was just lame. LAME I TELL YOU!

      But whatever, if you enjoyed it then that's all that matters.

    3. I think I'm more generous with Jurassic World because we were both EXPECTING it to be so much worse than we found it, so by halfway through or so, we just allowed ourselves to enjoy it.

      I don't know if I saw Crystal Skull. I really hated Kate Capshaw. REALLY.


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