I have a friend with a three-year-old son who is VERY physical. She's unable to work much outside of her home, because, even though her husband has a great job "in the world," childcare in Los Angeles is very cost-prohibitive. So she's a full-time, stay-at-home Mommy with business partners who give her enough freedom to also "work from home" as much as possible.
I had indicated to her that we are saying "yes" to more and more things, as much as possible, this time around in LA. That meant driving an unfamiliar distance to an unfamiliar neighborhood to help her husband celebrate his birthday... which led to Stephen making a new friend, and us staying longer than we might have, to catch up in general, with my friend the wife.
... which led to her asking (one day this week) whether today might be a good day for her to bring the son over for a swim. I called it "Park, Picnic, and Pool" and invited other moms with young sons to join us. Who cares that we all live on different sides of town? Let's make a "Play Date" and get all these little boys socialized! I am, after all, the Best Auntie Ever!
So another Mommy was happy to bring her not-quite-two-year-old over for a swim, if nothing else. I was happy to see them both, even if the little one took his sweet time warming up to me (I get it - I met him when he was a true "infant" and then went away - it'll take awhile!). We figured out where to put all the picnic items and then the other family arrived (the daddy, too). The third family asked for a "raincheck" - we'll definitely be hosting this kind of deal again, so no problem!
Once all expected parties were here, we went down to the pool with some of the food. Not ready to walk to the park in hot/humid weather, when we can just spend all day in the pool! That's fine. The two little boys befriended each other and will likely become better friends as they get a little older, if we manage to get them together to do so. The Mommies had enough in common that they'll find a way to become better friends, and therefore socialize their sons. And the menfolk had all day to "conversate" (can you believe that the OED has added that as a new "word?"), and I'm STILL The Best Auntie Ever!
Single Mom and Youngest Child left after a good, long visit. They had evening plans and still needed to squeeze in a nap. Family with Very Physical Three-Year-Old stayed a good LONG time, and I had time to give Stay-at-Home-Working-Mommy a "grown-up" break (they all talked politics while I got to play cars and superheroes and shooting rubber bands and nerf guns with the kid). It was a fabulous day, even though the sun never quite broke through the clouds, and it slowly but surely melted into a fabulous evening/night.
Saying "Yes" means MUCH MORE socializing. Today was not cost-prohibitive for any of the participants (to my knowledge), and it was really really lovely. I can't wait to "Say Yes" some more!
What a terrific philosophy. I've been working on just letting the day unfold in front of me even though I'm a control freak and crave the schedule/planned-out route. It's hard, but usually quite gratifying when I can manage to let go.
ReplyDelete... and that would be what "saying 'yes'" really means TO YOU.
DeleteWith my line of work being always of a "temporary" nature, I'm less of a "schedule" person, altho I still exhibit plenty of "control freak." I think maybe we got that from Mommy, even though Daddy's the "Type A" in the family.
Very Nice Em ;-)
ReplyDeleteThanks, Bob. When did you start reading me? ;)
Deleteoh emelle !! what can i say?? just wanted to let you know how entertaining i find your "blog"?.. just love reading about stephen and you out there in la. i'm so glad that you guys finally got home..also i truly believe you could have a column in any number of magazines..and yes i do think you are also a real writer.. hello to stephen ..love and best of luck in the future..
ReplyDeleteThank you for reading me, Ruth (or is it Ruth Ann?)! I'm enjoying the blogging but still don't consider myself a "real writer," no matter how many "fans" I accumulate along the way. Thanks for the compliment and the giggle, tho! Stephen says hello back atcha. Hope you're still having fun in NC!
DeleteBrilliant philosophy and such a lovely thing to have done too! I bet they were so appreciative of it
ReplyDeleteI love it when I can "say yes" to an invitation to ANYTHING, and I also love being able to "host" (even if I only provided the location and the "Auntie-ing" and none of the food). I have heard back from both Mommies - they definitely expressed positive feedback and gratitude. I hope no one decides to wait for the next "invitation" and takes me at my "it's open" word so that the boys do get socialized sooner rather than later. I know that folks, especially in this area, don't ever want to "impose" - but unless I'm at work, I'm gonna be in the pool anyway, so ya might as well join me! :D
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