Crying Jags

Wow. It's been six days since my last post. Where the hell have I been?

Crying, that's where.

So, yeah, apparently, I'm in a bit of a Depression. It's unlike my normal ones, in that I'm not feeling "nothing" or "dead inside"... I actually have noticed a moment or two of joy, where television or a movie will make me smile or laugh, and I've also been crying... well, maybe a lot... um, yeah, that sounds at least a little like Depression.

So what has set me off, you ask? Oh, you name it. Stupid little shit. Or clever little shit. Adverts. Twitter threads about Mister Rogers. YouTube videos. Television. Movies. Life.

Yeah, I've been having crying jags. I guess I'm Depressed.

Yes, of course, I would love to be working, and I wonder whythehell I'm not working. Yes, of course, I feel like I'm doing allthethings to get me back on set, and yet, somehow, I'm not back on set. So that contributes.

But I'm also trying to stay on top of Daddy's health and well-being, and being in California versus Florida means he'll tell me that his outing to the golf course resulted in him finishing four holes before exhaustion (YAY! Almost half of the nine they'd paid for!), and finding out later from his bffs that their squatter reported two holes as the "success" mark... meaning, if I were still in Florida, I'd have known the actual truth on-the-day and not worried over what is likely an exaggeration. I can't really call him out for exaggerating, and maybe the truth is that he was tired after two holes but did, in fact, press on for four? He is a Tough Guy, after all. But is that why he expresses a different truth from what others express? Are both "angles" true? Does it matter?

I dunno. It makes/helps me cry, though.

Last night, Stephen and I didn't know what to watch together, so I looked at our wall-o-blu-rays. I was looking at films that were turned sideways, rather than just filed in their appropriate spaces, because "sideways" is our cue that we haven't yet watched that specific disk, to know whether it's even a "good" copy or has any special features on it.

We landed on

License to Wed, which may or may not be one of Robin Williams' last films. I was a tour guide for Warner Bros. through a Christmas season, and as an employee, I was given access to the video vault on a specific day. This was one of the freebies I was allowed to walk away with. It's probably not a movie you've seen or even heard of, but it stars, among others, Robin Williams, John Krasinski, and Mandy Moore. It's essentially pre-marital counseling BootCamp for this couple, and RW is the generic, non-denominational priest/reverend who wears a Catholic collar but is clearly not Catholic.

So, a romp. I don't agree with most of "Reverend Frank"'s tactics, but that didn't keep me from laughing. Or crying. Yup. I shed enough tears last night that I couldn't breathe at bedtime because of clogged sinuses. FUN!

And today, Daddy indicated that he's fininshed Season 7(02) of Doctor Who, so I sent him an urgent email to make sure that he watches The Day of The Doctor and The Time of The Doctor before he continues on to Season 8 (*** let me just say here that Amazon Prime does NOT  make it easy for you to binge-watch a show like Doctor Who in order, as the Day is called Season 50, episode 8, and Time is called... Christmas Specials Season 2, episode 2... and you Do Not Need To Watch ANY of the rest of Season 50 or Christmas Specials Season 2 to keep up!) #WTFAmazonPrime? Seriously! Why you gotta make it so hard to binge-watch In Order?

Ennyhoo, yeah, I watched both of those episodes, so I can start Season 8. And yeah, I cried during each of them, at various "appropriate" moments.

Now, I don't mind crying. I really don't. Growing up, #InnerHippie was the emotional child. Somewhere along the lines, I gained some empathy, and now I'll cry at the drop of a ... bowtie. And I'm okay with all of that, as long as it doesn't clog up my sinuses and prevent me from sleeping, because That Was A Bitch.

What about you? Do televised/filmed/nonsense things get you crying? Ever? I mean, we went to see GotGV.2 and we both cried (probably me more than he, but still)... Do YOU express emotions for anyone else to witness, or are you pretty much bottling up that shit? Because that's probably not healthy, either. Just' sayin'.

REVIEWS! ... eventually, this post. Bear with me.

So, I managed to get fully unpacked and all my laundry put away (thanks, unnamed upstairs neighbor friend, until you give me permission to post your name and likeness!), and I'm somewhat back in A "swing of things".

I was on the waitlist for the VO workshop I really wanted to attend, and had booked a solo booth session following it. Twice I received email notifications that there were seats available, and Twice, I didn't act quickly enough. I have the dude listed as a "priority sender" so that I'll GET notifications in my phone, but I ... just didn't ... in a timely manner, at least. #Dammit #TechnologyIsABitch

So I shopped at Trader Joe's instead, and then went to my solo booth session and recorded some audiobook copy, and cancelled the spot I actually had reserved for the evening VO "talk"... jetlag or something else, I was just too tired to stay on that side of the hill into darkness. #IGottaGetHome. But, I did do some solo work, so that's good.

The rest of this week has been an attempt to reacclimate. Yes, I'm calling Daddy daily, to make sure he's doing something. Most days, he does at least make it to hit a few balls. The day he went to the chipping green (?), he told me he hit 15 happy balls. Yay! He's been feeling a bit puny for the past two days, so he hasn't really gotten "out", beyond a Publix run or similar. But the dude who's staying in bff neighbors' house while they're back in Canada, Tom, is a nice fella who has invited Daddy to join him on the front nine tomorrow at 4. The weather should be cooperative, so if Daddy's feeling well enough, it'll be good for him to go. I'm looking forward to that update.

He hasn't been to the pool lately (his weather turned rainy/cold, so I don't blame him), nor has he yet made it to the gym for light weight-lifting. But it's on his agenda! As well as taking apart the porch swing that essentially rusted out on his back "lanai" from the sprinkler over-spray. He's got plenty of time (no deadline, seriously) to make that happen, unless he orders some kind of replacement furniture online and it gets delivered before he's scrapped the rusted swing.

He's mostly kept up in his binge-watch of Doctor Who, but the fact that Amazon did not include any of Matt Smith's Christmas Specials in his seasons made it a little difficult to watch them in order. He finished Season 6 with me, and then finished Season 701 alone, and then watched "Season 1" of the "Doctor Who Christmas Specials", which were three episodes that should have been placed between S5-6, S6-701, and S701-702. Those are three pretty depressing episodes, and when viewed piggybacked on "Angels Take Manhattan", I can see why Daddy wanted at least a day's reprieve from any DW at all. Thankfully, I watched ahead after catching up, because YES, we are "bingeing" this "together", so I was able to recommend S702 E1 (The Bells of St. John) as being not depressing at all, and pretty "actiony", as we've come to expect. So he's now watched that one and the one that follows it, and now I'm behind. It's okay, I'll catch up tomorrow.

And Now For Those Reviews!

Stephen and I re-watched Guardians of the Galaxy, knowing we'd be seeing the second installment in a theater today. GotG (1) is/was? my favorite installment in the entire MCU. I am only a "fringe" comic reader, having acquired all of my knowledge of the best comic superheroes 20+ years ago, when we were dating in college and Stephen was a weekly collector/reader. I do love a good comic/superhero tale, though, and I ain't afraid to spend good money to watch a good flick. I adore Iron Man and Thor, and all of the rest of the SHIELD gang are pretty cool, too, but Guardians (1) just hit ALL of my buttons. So the rewatch was worth our time, and we were both immensely pleased with what we were shown in the Laemmle Theater today (Guardians 2).

IF you are a fan of superheroes/comics/humour/action/aliens/Stan Lee, then you will probably enjoy GotG2. Even though Kurt Russell plays the long-lost father-figure with all the flaws you would get in a "long-lost" character, this is still a fulfillingly funny, fighty, bittersweet tale of ... well, just people who happen to exist in a world where they can "jump" from one world to another without too much damage. It's sci-fi! It's good guys and bad guys! It's a comic book! It's fun!

We ate buttered popcorn for the first (in a long time) and last (probably, yeah, more than likely last) time, and we laughed our asses off. I sang along with the soundtrack, except for those two songs I just didn't recognize (I know, SHOCKING, right?). We each cried a little bit (or maybe a lot, I'm not sayin'). It was an enjoyable experience, all around.

Oh. And for my birthday coming up, I have asked for a completely non-useful item, something that can be just mine, just because... I want a "Baby Groot". Daddy's got a stuffed Minion, why shouldn't I have a Baby Groot? I dunno if it's gonna be one of those little "dancing flower" deals (which seem overpriced on Amazon) or possibly a 6-10" stuffed doll or what, but every time... Every Time... someone onscreen held Baby Groot or perched him on their shoulder or strapped him into a seat or whatever, my heart just melted. He is SO KEWT... and So Fierce... and my absolute favorite Guardian, I need a Baby Groot of my own.

Ennyhoo. Guardians of the Galaxy (both 1 and 2): Highly Recommended

We came home from that and didn't really know what to watch yet. I'd started Kimmy Schmidt (3 episodes) once I'd wrapped up watching Grace and Frankie, and I had Stephen take KS outta our personal "queue"... it just didn't grab me. Whatever. But what should we watch together? What hadn't we touched yet in that queue?

Santa Clarita Diet. OMG, y'all. This show is Too Damn Funny. Just be sure to not watch at dinnertime. There are only ten episodes in the first season, so we're likely to watch the whole thing in five days or less. But seriously. So funny. Just don't be eating while you watch.

And then, we'd also saved The Secret Life of Pets. For tonight? Eh, what the hell. We'd seen the trailers; we're not afraid of animated animals, as long as they are cartoony enough (and not cgi but speaking English real-looking domesticated pets); this will either be really cute or really stupid. If we hate it, we'll likely hate it right away, and we'll shut it off.

We did not shut it off. There was one bizarre acid-trip sequence in a sausage factory that had us looking at each other and asking #WTF?, but beyond that, overall cute and bittersweet and funny and notATallREALISTIC, which was good enough for us. So, if you're in the mood for #JustStupidEnoughToBeGood, this one also comes Highly Recommended.

So there ya have it. Three Good Things to add to your own watchlist (or four, if you haven't seen GotG1), in case you're looking for things to add to your watchlist. Stephen's gone to bed, and while I have no real deadlines for tomorrow (on another VO waitlist in the evening), I'm probably not up too much longer. I've been clearing-my-throat coughing All Damn Day. It sucks.

I am not planning to continue blogging daily, now that I'm back in California, but somehow I feel like maybe I still have "catch-up" stuff to post? Huh. We'll see.

• Late arrival
• Stephen picked me up, thank you
• Furbabies missed me a lot
• Read the mail I'd received while I was gone
• Daddy is still golfing and swimming and binge-watching Doctor Who
• Uncle Leroy is home; everyone's happy to still be alive but hating aging. (And I'm certainly including myself in "everyone")
• Caught up with upstairs neighbor over French Pressed Mocha
• Unpacked one bag
• Did laundry (haven't put it away yet)
• Ate some Double-Chocolate gelato, and later some chili, both provided by Stephen
• I have an alarm set to call Daddy daily at 5 his time to check on his golf/swim/bingeing
• I watched the same DW episode, but also 2/3 Matt Smith Christmas Specials to be sure Daddy needs to (he does)
• I'm now back to bingeing Grace and Frankie while still snuggling with Cocoa

Tomorrow, I'll reply to at least one letter, either work or workshop, depending on if I book work, call Daddy at the appropriate time, and binge-watch whichever episodes he did. Unless something/anything "different" happens tomorrow, I probably won't be blogging!

This is the second time I've attempted to post today. I'm ...

Revisiting this a week later. Posting, only because it pretty succinctly wrapped up my trip. This should have been posted on the 11th. #TooBadSoSad

Traveling is REALLY fun!

Bathed and packed last night, but still didn't get to bed until after midnight. Awake to pee at 6 this morning, which means AWAKE. Dammit.

Daddy was moving around by 7-ish, though, so I went downstairs to begin our final half-day together. Normal. Coffee, Boost (TM), hash brown breakfasts, internetting.

More normal. Bob Mann video, driving range. Actually, slightly better than normal: 15/18 happy balls with the 5 iron and 4/6 happy balls with the driver, from the third tier down. Slight rest climbing back up to the golf cart. A nice, hot shower for him upon our return.

Not-so-normal: key lime pie for lunch and early Doctor Who binge. We have one episode left in S6. It's a doozy, and we'll have to cross-country binge it "together". We hopped in the rental together to fill the tank of the rental, all of Ten Bux in that economy car! #W00tW00t!

Started crying as I slowly but surely packed the bags into the car. Had a helluva time getting outta his driveway. I was a hot mess, and once I made it to the airport boarding line, I tweeted so. #NotSureWhyImStillTearingUpOverThis #NotSureWhyThisDepartureIsHittingMeSoHard #WhatTheFuckAmISoAfraidOf #WhatTheFuckIsItIfNotFear #HotMessTimesInfinity

*****

TSA in the MCO (Orlando) airport was incredibly taxing/vexing/trying/FUCKED UP. Leaving LAX was a breeze in comparison. I arrived at my boarding line AS they were boarding the group before me. So I tweeted, made friends with the woman in the boarding position behind mine, and we ended up sitting together... by choice. Four hours later, she was prepping to meet her hubby's smiling face and hugging her new penpal goodbye. #GoodTimes!

*****

My second leg flight was originally scheduled with about an hour layover, which has been extended by about an additional hour, which means:

1. I Am Exhausted
2. I Am Blogging, because free airport wifi
3. I Am Drinking Coffee with a shot of Bailey's, because I want to be awake enough to board, but not wired by the time I'm feet on the ground again.

This is a significantly shorter leg. I may or may not catnap on the plane. I may or may not chat with my seatmate. Pretty sure I won't be coloring or fidgeting on any of my devices. My server just informed me that it's "Last Call for Alcohol" (because they typically close up by 9-ish!), so I'm paying my bill and heading to my gate (right next door). Well, ya know... soon as I hit "publish"... and then tweet the link... and shut down... and repack the laptop in the carryon.

This is not the Face of Boe. This is the Face of So. Tired.

Traveling is REALLY fun, isn't it?

Final Florida Post (this trip, at least)

We've been rising earlier, these last few days. Today was no exception; I expect tomorrow will match, as well.

Had breakfast, had coffee, checked internets, and then I had to remind Daddy to watch a little Bob Mann (because he was raring to head out the door before 10!)... so we watched a little Bob Mann, and then we headed to the driving range. Took maybe half of the balls we'd scored yesterday, got to the area from which to hit (they'd lowered us to the third tier, which meant "climbing" two hills when finished), and found a handful of balls left behind again. I lined up 16 balls with no expectations; just lined 'em up. Daddy stretched, set his grip, and went to work. With one or two "sit" breaks, he hit all 16 balls with the iron, 11 of which were "happy"! Switched clubs to the driver; did a couple of seated stretches with it, and hit five HAPPY balls off the tee. So 16/21 balls hit were happy, after a day with no activity at all, and two tiers down from where he'd hit 20/23 two days prior. #NotBadAtAll

As we were leaving the range, he said "pool"... but then he also said "now I have a headache". But he didn't have a backache, and he hadn't used the heating pad before we went, and he'd had to walk a greater distance, and he wasn't particularly winded (except a little from the two "hills"). So we went home and he took some ibuprofen and sat down for a moment. If he went online at all, it wasn't for very long. He went into his bedroom, and when he came back out, he was dressed for the pool! Before 11 a.m.! So, I went upstairs to change, and we headed right back out.

Now, you have to remember that even though it is Florida, and the forecast was calling for sunny and 97º, and the "current" temp at the time was at least 87º, the sun is not yet high in the sky before noon, so when we reached the pool, we discovered to our dismay that the water was pretty damn cold. But we're a coupla tough guys, right? We braved it! We got in that sucker and swam around for something like half an hour, and Daddy did say, at one point, that the water still felt good on his muscles. He indicated when he was done, so I got out for a last round of sunning. After :30 of tanning my belly and back, I was thinking I might go for Round Two, but that water was still too cold. #NopesieNopesterNopes

So I walked home. Got some steps in, but probably not nearly enough to meet a challenge, not that I had bothered to accept one for today. Won't be accepting one for tomorrow, either. Too bad, non-Fitbit thingy! Once inside, I verified that Daddy had put a little alcohol in his ears to remove any water. Also, he reminded me that we needed to check the water levels in the batteries of his golf cart, so we topped 'em all off, and then went for a short joyride (okay, yes, to Publix) before plugging the darn thing in to charge those freshly-filled batteries.

I had Second Breakfast when I got in, even though it was officially lunchtime. I dunno why, but stove-fried hashbrown patties with melted cheddar were #DaBomb today. Once we were officially "in" from all our "outings" (we'd been very active very early, for us), Daddy fired up the binge machine. A Good Man Goes to War and Let's Kill Hitler were quite a lot of plot for one sitting, so after that, we each did some internetting, and before long, it was time to eat one last "good" meal. So I nuked our individual Marie Callendar's frozen dinners, and Daddy tuned in to YouTube, where we watched back-to-back standup clips from this one humourist who goes on speaking tours rather than "working" nightclubs. Her bits were very clean, and very funny. We finished our dinners, and I served up our key lime pie. #NoNapForDaddyToday

And then it was suddenly after 7 p.m., and we had briefly discussed "how" to binge Doctor Who with the whole country between us. I'm just going to have to call him daily, around 3 p.m. or later, to see what he's done activity-wise in the morning, and how many/which episodes he'd be watching later, so I could make a plan to watch those same episodes, so we could talk about them at the next check-in. Okay, well, we didn't actually discuss all that... but that's going to have to become a rough outline of the "plan" to continue bingeing. We watched Night Terrors, and then Daddy took his meds and went to bed. Good episode to go to bed with! #NotSoMuch

And that's pretty much it. I've mapped my route back to the airport, so I have a rough idea of what time to leave here. We'll be able, barring any unforeseen nastiness, to have one more morning together on the driving range. I still have to pack my bags and bathe and prep either lunch or my travel food (depending on if we eat it at lunchtime), TONIGHT. In the morning, I'll empty the dishwasher, eat breakfast, and set my jeans and long sleeves to jump into last thing. It's all worked out, and even though I have so much to go home to (Stephen, furbabies, industry, et al), I am melancholy tonight. This has been a very worthwhile trip, and like David Tennant at the end of his season of "specials", I'm not ready to change it.

I think Daddy got a little melancholy tonight, too. This is hard, y'all.

Oh, in case you haven't yet had a chance, please visit the Fragile Storm website and view everything that you can, FOR FREE, and then share the website in your own social media and other circles. This is the beautiful film I was honored to work on, and we need it to go viral. It's won awards in about a bazillion festivals, and it's important. Thanks.

Setbacks and progress, both

So, yesterday, we'd learned that Uncle Leroy had a heart attack after we went our separate ways from lunch. We were thinking we'd make it out to the hospital yesterday evening, but information was being shared pretty sporadically, what with hospitals being hospitals, so we made a slightly-more-solid plan to go today.

Got up this morning, both of us feeling heavy-hearted, primarily due to the unknown nature of Uncle Leroy's attack, but also with the added "bonus" of not knowing whether I might need to extend my visit. I told Daddy that we should definitely see Uncle Leroy again in person, no matter where he was, and then we'd see Laurie, too, but mostly, Daddy the former nurse could GET all the deets about the attack, and then translate the sitch to us civilians. He agreed, so we just kept trying to figure out when Laurie would be there, to decide what time we should go. He also said to me "don't take this the wrong way, but I think you should go home on Wednesday". I agreed that, barring some unforeseen negative turn of events, I should go home on Wednesday. But it hurt that after all this time (my whole life), he felt a need to preface that statement with "don't take this the wrong way". He was afraid I'd think he doesn't love me. As if!

So, while we waited for final confirmation from Laurie about timelines, he watched episodes of his shows. One each of Elementary, Lucifer, and NCIS:LA. At some point, he spoke to his brothers, and once Laurie had indicated she was on her way and his last show was done, we gathered some things and left. This was not until almost 3 p.m., so even though we'd had breakfast, we hadn't gone to hit golf balls, nor eaten any lunch, nor made any other plans. I was beginning to feel a bit antsy.

We got to the hospital and parked. Daddy had the energy to walk in the front door, but that's about it. He sat in one of the lobby chairs while I chatted at the information desk. Charles, the volunteer there, found our man and brought over a fancy wheelchair so he could take Daddy up there himself. Nice fella! We found Daddy a chair next to Laurie, who was next to the bed, and I stood for a little bit, facing them. After hugs, we just discussed all the everything. And I took the page I'd colored out and gave it to him. #BecauseHeSaidYesPlease #GuessedOnTheEyeColorAndGotItRightWhew! #AndNowTheresAPageMissingFromMyColoringBook #SadAndHappyToo #INeverHadAPerforatedColoringBookSoIGuessIDidItRight #GladIdAlreadyReadTheLittleStoryOnTheBackOfThatPage

Uncle Leroy had decided, once his symptoms began, that something he'd eaten must have been "off". I decided that, upon our departure from the restaurant, asking him to send our love to Laurie triggered a "got to find a way for them to see her before emelle goes home" response (sure, why not a heart attack?). Daddy decided that it came because he'd paid the lunch bill, instead of letting Uncle Leroy pick it up. ... so, we were all in pretty good spirits, picking on each other, as we do.

Any staff who came in the room were a bit taken aback by the jovial nature of our visit with a man who'd just had a heart attack, for God's sake! How can you be laughing at a serious time like this? but obviously, we are well aware that laughter is the best medicine, and why shouldn't we? I guess most ICU patients don't have medical personnel, retired or otherwise, in their families who come to visit. #SorryNotSorryForOurBehaviour #LaughWithUsOrSuckIt

By the time we left there, Daddy was again drained. So when we got home, he took a "coffee nap" (where you slam a cuppa and then immediately take a nap), and I borrowed a lounge chair from bff neighbors' garage to just get some sun on my belly and back for about :30, after which, I woke Daddy (so he'd sleep tonight).

We ate again, finally, and watched three episodes of Doctor Who (The Doctor's Wife, The Rebel Flesh, and The Almost People). Doctor Who bingeing was something we'd missed yesterday, and today, it was the only part of our "normal" routine we accomplished. But we've agreed, barring unforeseen morning weirdness, we'll treat tomorrow (my last full day here, this trip) as a "normal" day, meaning hitting balls, swimming, Doctor Who, and possibly another golf cart trip in the 'hood, as we do sometimes.

I didn't quite meet my step challenge for the day, but I've bought my last Florida lottery ticket (for awhile, at least), and I'll probably pack for my return when I first awake on Wednesday, since I've promised to bring down all the "spent" linens for him.

I'm bummed that I didn't get to accompany Daddy to the actual golf course. But he assures me he will continue building his strength with activities we've discovered he actually does enjoy. In fact, his "goal" is to be back to his former "normal" by the time bff neighbors return! That's only going to happen if he decides to hear my voice in concert with Bob Mann's... in his head... telling him to get his butt outta that recliner and doing a thing!

Do it, Daddy. Get outta that recliner and go do a thing. All of the rest of you, do it, too. Get yer butts offa the couch and go do a thing! And if you DO do a thing, won't you tell me?

I Am Here. Are You Here? Where Are You? Where Will I Be Tomorrow?

Final Sunday with Daddy, right? Our plans today included lunch with Uncle Leroy and Laurie, possibly golf balls at the driving range, possibly a swim, probably some Doctor Who. First thing I actually did was finish (and tweet) this page I'd started yesterday:

"Haters Gonna Hate, Players Gonna Play. I'm Just Gonna
Hide in the Closet Because I Have Social Anxiety."

Daddy was up early (for him), and so was I, after a night of weird-ass dreams. So yes, we watched a little bit of the Bob Mann instructional video and went out to the driving range. Daddy was out of balls, so he rented a small bucket... but there were the remains of a large bucket, abandoned there on the range. I asked the only person to whom they might have "belonged" whether he was set up there, and he said no. So we scored (essentially) TWO buckets for the price of ONE. #WeAreMoneyMagnets #ThankYouThankYouThankYou Not only that, but he hit 10/11 happy balls with the iron and 10/12 happy balls with the driver.

Got back in plenty of time to try to schedule a 4:00 tee time for tomorrow before heading to lunch. Had an issue with logging in and scheduling online, so we popped by the clubhouse on our way out, and he got it scheduled. A TEE TIME! On the actual front nine of the course! Unfortunately, Laurie'd had another bad day and night yesterday, so lunch would only be the three of us. Bummer. I didn't want to miss seeing her this trip. Still, Uncle Leroy looked pretty good, and we had an enjoyable lunch, asking him to send our love to Laurie.

That outing took a bit of the wind outta Daddy's sails, though, and when we got back in, he lay down for a nap, which turned into a pretty long one. He'd asked me not to wake him, but maybe I should've done. 'Cuz at this point, he might not sleep tonight.

Once up from it, he had no interest in going anywhere, so I dressed for a walk and swim, and left him to watch a movie. Not knowing how long I'd be gone, I told him to call me if I wasn't home yet when his movie was done. I walked over, swam a bit, sunned my back a bit, sunned my belly a bit, and started walking back home. He called, though, to tell me he was picking me up so we could drive into Deland to see Uncle Leroy in the hospital - he'd had a heart attack!

Neither of us went into "panic mode", because frankly, we just don't. But I got in, tweeted a request for love and light, plugged my phone in, dressed, and then went back downstairs to find out whether we'd be heading right out or waiting for Uncle Dan to ride with us (since we were the in-between locale). While I was dressing, Laurie called to say that they'd moved him into the ICU, so we were awaiting further instruction...

Daddy fixed himself a drink because I refused to, in case we needed to head out. And he tuned back into various movies, finally settling on Clue. Good choice! Meanwhile, I found an "appropriate" page to color in You Are Here, and during the course of the movie, had time to complete it:

"'Small' Is Not The Same As 'Weak'. Always Remember, Frightened Rabbits Fight Hardest."

I made him a grey/white wabbit with blue-grey eyes, in honor of Uncle Leroy, and dedicated it to him. I suppose if Laurie wants the actual physical page, that'll be the whole reason #TheBloggess had this book perforated. I'm still not particularly confident in my coloring, but I'm enjoying it. I especially like using contrasting "weights" of the same colored pencil, as evidenced in both of these specific doodles.

Ennyhoo. When Laurie finally called, I had to take the phone away from Daddy, because that one drink had been enough to slur his speech. Laurie sounded okay, all things considered. And when she said that she hoped they'd keep him (her dad) in the ICU beyond tomorrow, HE joked in the background that the nurses (already) don't want him to leave! So, assurances made that our presence wasn't needed tonight, I bid her a restful good night, and told her we'll be expecting her call in the morning, and that we would come out to the hospital tomorrow, if requested.

Then I called Uncles Dan and Terry, to keep them in the loop. Uncle Dan was glad to hear that he didn't need to go anywhere tonight; Daddy's first phone call had sent his heart racing, and it still wasn't calm yet! I also told him that we expect to hear from Laurie in the morning, so rather than texting Daddy that he was "okay", why not call and drive over? That way, if/when we do head out, he'll already be here. And if we don't go anywhere, it won't hurt anyone for him to hang out here for a bit. He seemed amenable to that. Uncle Terry will be expecting our update, as he's in Miami and will only come if requested (probably).

So the tee time is cancelled. I'll probably get to see Laurie! But under different circumstances than anyone may have hoped, hmm. Daddy's taken his meds, we watched no Who, I've colored and blogged and acted like a parent, sending Daddy to bed.

Please let tomorrow be a "good" one!

Final Saturday Florida Blog

My time here with Daddy is wrapping up. I've a few more days to tell you all about it, every day, but just know this: My time here with Daddy is wrapping up.

It honestly is beginning to feel like a conglomeration of episodes of Doctor Who, which is not necessarily a bad thing.

We've had days that felt really good, like we got a lot done, and made great strides in his overall health and well-being, and possibly even some strides in my overall health and well-being.

And we've had some days that ended, um, #NotSoMuch.

Today was decent. Up at a reasonable hour; watched some instructional golf videos; "braved" the "cold" (wind, really; today's high was 79º but Very Windy) to hit 80-90% happy balls at the driving range (19 balls using an iron and a wood); watched episodes 1 & 2 of season 6 (we skipped Matt's Christmas Special, because Amazon doesn't make them easy to find) of Doctor Who (of course; what else could we possibly have made it to S6 of, together?); took a boredom-break golf cart joyride to Publix; farted around online a bit; watched S6 E3, and then Daddy took his meds and went to bed.

I had a phone call with Stephen to non-blog catch-up. I discovered that my brain may not have been running on all cylinders when I booked my return flight. It leaves here in the evening, and arrives in Burbank at almost 10 p.m. During his closing shift. In Encino. No worries! That's not "late" or anything! Except that it is, if my bag doesn't get unloaded quickly, because the last bus of the night leaves within an hour of my plane landing. So I may have to taxi/Uber/Lyft home, except that I've never actually done that. And my brain/body will still be on Florida time, so we're talking 1 - 2 a.m. #Oopsie!

I also have a TON of mail (thanks, #TheBloggessTribe #PenPalsUnite!) and a healthy, repotted lavender plant, chili in the crockpot and dessert in the freezer, and possibly-very-angry furbabies waiting for me. And maybe work on Thursday or Friday. And voiceover workshop(s), if not work, on Friday. And... And... STUFF!

Tomorrow, we lunch with Uncle Leroy (and Laurie, if she's feeling up to it {I swear, everyone in this family is sickly!}). If we're up early enough, golf balls on the driving range before lunch ('sposedta be Toasty-Oatie-Ohs tomorrow, so early golf!), and then some swimming well after lunch. Then more of that routine on Monday and Tuesday. Who knows what we'll do before I leave on Wednesday?

Surely you're sick of this by now, right? No, and don't call me Shirley. What have I missed? What else do you want, before I head back home? Let me know!

Hoy no era bueno, más o menos

It WAS Cinco de Mayo, hence the Spanish title. And no, today doesn't expect you to fill a sink with mayonnaise, blech! No, it was generally not a good day, and I don't really even want to blog, but you've come to expect it from me, so...

I came downstairs at 9:30-ish, after internetting on my phone for a coupla hours, because I started to worry that I hadn't heard Daddy stirring. He's not usually up "early", per se, but he is usually up before 9! He exited his bedroom, bleary-eyed, just as I entered the living room. He didn't know why he'd slept so heavily.

10:00 approached quickly, and he asked me what time we were going to see Uncle Dan. That hadn't been determined yet, so he called him. I had put the crock back in the pot to reheat the roast a bit, so I suggested we take lunch over. He agreed, so after confirming that plan, we each had to ready ourselves. We had also talked previously about dumping a bunch of dead electronics at the landfill "on our way", so we had to load up the trunk with both a bin of that and the crock pot of lunch. Out the door!

We were both dressed for a central Florida spring day. I had the sun on my side, so I drove with my window partially open, rather than running the a/c... because today was more like a central Florida winter day. Neither Daddy nor I are particularly tolerant of cold weather, but we knew the temps should rise to a reasonable number before too long. 75º was our high today. Not very warm, for us.

After a very long drive, we had a nice visit, and we got to feed a man who is old/sick enough to not bother eating much. Then we came back home, and when we walked inside, Daddy was a bit winded and woozy. His pulse oxymeter showed "normal" readings, but he compared how he felt to the day he'd taken a three-hour train ride with his brother and uncle, and that day had sapped his energy for three days! We figured out that he still had water in his ear from yesterday's swim, so when he lay down for a nap, I poured a few drops of isopropyl alcohol into the offending ear, to help break up the water so it would drain. That did the trick, apparently. No nap needed.

But because it was late in the day, and so cool and windy, he decided to refresh his golf swing memory but only swing a club in the backyard, without hitting any balls. I watched him do that, and determined he'd not know if he was doing it right unless he hit a few, so I went to fetch the bag. While I was gone, he scuffed a couple that he'd scuffed nearby the other day. I talked him through his grip and stance, tossed a ball at his feet, and he hit it pretty. Tossed another, and it was also pretty. But that's all the balls he was going to hit today. His balance was off because the day was "off", and there was no good way to recover our day.

So we watched Vincent and The Doctor, The Lodger, and The Pandorica Opens. During our binge, we each consumed nutrients, including a bag of popcorn. Then he declared that he wanted ice cream, so we carted ourselves over to Publix for pistachio gelato. We were both freezing our asses off during that short jaunt (no lie - I had goosebumps on my legs and arms when we were in the golf cart), so while I was dishing the ice cream, Daddy was fetching a coupla warm bathrobes. Then we watched The Big Bang (not Theory), and it was time for his meds and bed.

Tomorrow we'll both be wearing sleeves and long pants, because #FuckBeingColdInFlorida. I didn't meet my step challenge today. We didn't swim. We didn't go to the driving range. We dumped dead electronics, had lunch with Uncle Dan, finished Season 5 of Doctor Who, and ate gelato. And I'm blogging before midnight. So I guess, hoy no era bueno, ni malo. Hoy era así, así.

¿Cómo fue su cinco de mayo?

I guess I was too excited yesterday :(

Daddy and I have developed a bit of a routine these days. Up when we're up, we each consume a Boost, maybe something else of substance, maybe coffee, and Daddy takes his morning meds. Then he uses a heating pad to warm his back muscles while checking his internets, and I wait for the "let's go" signal. We load up the golf cart with all of the accoutrement I've mentioned before, and we go to the driving range for him to hit balls.

Then we come back home, back to the internets, possibly a little television (either Doctor Who or one of his "stories" that he watches), consume more nutrients, and when he gives me the "let's go" signal, we swimsuit up and take the golf cart over to the pool, as long as the weather indicates it'll be warm enough for us to get in the water (overcast and 80º is not a good indicator of "warm enough to get in the water"). We'll swim for a bit, and when he prepares himself for departure, I settle onto a lounge chair for 20-30 minutes of tanning/drying off. He'll call me when he gets home or I'll call him as I'm walking, and that'll be where I meet my step challenge for the day.

Then more television after a short nap (if a nap is needed), maybe a quick run over to Publix or CVS, and dinner, then night-night meds. Usually (but not tonight), he'll go to bed and I'll check my internets, including blogging for the day. (Tonight I'm blogging early)

Today was pretty much one of those days. Except for the fact that Daddy missed one of his regular pain meds this morning, which caused him to only hit 9 with his #9 iron and only 6 with his driver. Of the 15 balls he hit, I'd say that 90-95% were "happy", but they caused his sciatica to flare, and that's all we got this morning. (Hence, the frowny face in the post title)

Then, when we went to the pool, we both found it to be rather relaxing (having it to ourselves), and we did work our muscles without a lot of pain. But he was cold when he got out, and cold when he got home, and I had to recommend a mug of broth from the crock pot roast to warm him. Once I'd made it home and we were just chillin', he mentioned what an "off" day it was. I hadn't noticed it being "off" personally, but I attributed his feeling of "offness" to the golf pain and pool chill.

It got better after that. Tonight was the monthly Food Truck Parade over at the clubhouse, and he'd made plans to get gelato for dinner (possibly only gelato for dinner, which I honestly don't have a problem with)... but there was no gelato truck tonight (nor will there be in June) - only the shaved ice truck, which was playing steel drum versions of music from The Little Mermaid. I don't really ever consume shaved ice, much less pay for it. It's frozen water with syrup - YUCK! So we opted for actual food - shrimp-n-cheesy-grits, with actual cheese and butter; nothing that could be considered "one molecule away from plastic" - and we had a good time bantering with the head chef about his use of real food.

And it was soooo gooood. But no dessert tonight. And we managed four episodes of Doctor Who, before Daddy realized that he's going to have to take his night-nights soon and go to bed! But he still has internetting to catch up on! So we're ready to watch "Vincent and the Doctor"... and I've been excited to get to this place in the queue, because Daddy's home that is also his art gallery is FULL of Van Gogh prints! #Squeeeeeee!

Tomorrow, more of the same, only better. And we'll probably throw in another visit with Uncle Dan, because, #WhyNot?

We have Good Days and Great Days and Not-So-Great Days (today was not Bad, just made less progress than yesterday). I think our Bad Days are behind us (I'm lookin' at YOU, day lived in the ER!). I hope yours are, as well, generally speaking. May we all have Good and Great Days, and even Not-So-Greats (to help us appreciate the Goods and the Greats)!

Progress! Like, Noticeable Progress!

First things first, since I posted yesterday just this much shy of midnight, I intended to sleep in this morning, not be awakened by buzzy buggy dreams because of noise outside. I was outraged-awake enough to tweet!

emelle‏ @Showbiz_emelle

Yeah, I'm awake before 7. Had "buggy" dreams bc some @$$hole is using buzzing lawn eqpt @ 6 fucking 45 in the morning. WTF?

I did get back to sleep, though, after emptying my bladder and searching in vain out the windows for the fucker who'd awakened me. Didn't wake again until after 9! Woo Hoo! No longer angry, I dressed and proceeded downstairs.

Daddy was checking emails. I heated some corned beef hash for us whilst also brewing my failed "cold brew mocha" that I had prepped the night before (I knew the experiment had failed because I tasted it... chocolate milk, while yummy, is NOT mocha). Daddy informed me that cold-brewing takes a long-ass time (I've since forgotten how long, not that I really care). After we ate and consumed coffee, he announced he was ready to hit the driving range, so then he found a video made by some pro-to-the-pros golfer, to use as a refresher (because yesterday had pretty much sucked), and then off we went. (The pro-to-the-pros had demonstrated archery, and I was astounded by how beautiful his demo had been. He was relating the "mental prep" for golf as being essentially the same as in archery.)

There were quite a few dudes out there, but the club had moved the tee area up a level, which meant Daddy wouldn't have as far to travel to get there. Less energy expended should mean more balls hit! He'd brought his chair, his glove and his Pedialyte, and a #8 iron and the better driver (of the ones he'd already practiced with). He rented a new bucket of balls, but he'd forgotten to bring his brush tee. So we found him a spot that looked like it would have room to set up his chair, and also had a few discarded tees lying about. No free balls to rescue today!

He started with the iron. He hit a total of 12 with it, and of those, 8 were damn pretty. 75%! So much better than the last two days from the back yard! During the use of the iron, he sat down to sip Pedialyte once or twice, and each time he got up, if he didn't remember the training from this morning, the first shot would inevitably be kinda crummy. So I started remembering for him. With the driver, 3 of his first 4 were not wonderful, and I told him he'd have to hit enough balls to equal the "happiness" of the balls with the iron. He got it. He remembered the training, he sat when needed, he sipped when needed, and he ended up with 7 happy balls out of 10. I didn't make him hit the additional 2 for 75%. I was proud of what I saw today.

We got back to the house with 18 balls in our little wine bag, and put away all the gear. We started watching some tv, and before too long, he was getting bored or antsy or something, so when I suggested the pool, he was like, yeah. Let's do that. So we did!

Yesterday morning, it had stormed, and the air temperature hovered near 80º all day. Today, on the driving range, we could tell that it was gonna be a hot one. So the water in the pool shouldn't be "too" cold, except upon first stepping in. We passed a couple of tan-and-lovelies on our way to our chosen shaded chaises, and when Daddy stopped to read the back tatts of one of the young ladies, I had to remind him that he was looking a little "stalker". Parked at the deep end were a gaggle of teenagers, probably having been out of their school day just long enough to take up "residence" there. They were playing loud obnoxious music but didn't actively bother us or the tan-and-lovelies.

I got in first, and let Daddy know that the water was cool, but not cold. He followed and concurred. We both swam about, mostly in the shallow end, but because of all of my prior-to-my-visit breathing difficulties, I had to test my lung capacity by swimming the length of the pool. Not great, primarily because my muscle strength in my arms and legs has been somewhat depleted, too. Daddy noticed the same, but we both remarked that the pool will be good for us to hit daily, and he even commented that he may decide in the not-near-but-not-too-distant future to also make use of the gym!

***** Before I made this trip, I kept trying to convince Daddy (by phone) that he should start walking toward the pool and the gym. His breathing just wouldn't allow him to do that, and frankly, he may never have the physical strength again to walk the 2500 steps to get there, much less the 5k steps round-trip! Blame that on old, I guess. But now that he's actively participating in activities he enjoys - golf and swimming, for now - there's no reason he can't continue actively participating in every activity he enjoys, including some high rep/low weight muscle rebuilding in the gym!

It had been years since he'd been in the pool, and probably longer than that since he's lifted any weights. I'm happy that these are now things that he sees as beneficial. He's even recommended similar activities to Uncle Dan, because they are enjoyable for him as well. They are brothers, after all. They did used to golf together, back in the day. *****

In addition to all of this physical activity (I met my step challenge by walking home from the pool rather than going with Daddy in the golf cart), we also watched a lot of Doctor Who. Daddy's sucked in. And even though he has a habit of telling new companions that they're being dumbasses (and I make a habit of reminding him that they are NEW at this whole concept and will learn), he did state that it is the companions that make the show worth watching. I countered that the Brits know how to make good television; he didn't argue that point. We also agree that we love River Song. I hope to get to cover most of her story-arc while I'm here. I don't know if it'll happen, because that really is an awful lot of television. #ButItsSoGood

So tonight, before bedtime, I started a small "complete meal" that I'd gotten for free for shopping late the other evening. It's a two-person roast, with one serving of baby red potatoes and one serving of baby carrots and one pearl onion. I dunno, maybe they consider that cut of beef to be a single serving, too. Daddy only has one rather large crock pot, so I also cut up about a dozen larger red potatoes that neighbor bff had left behind, and I added the jarred pearl onions she'd also left behind, and I threw in various seasonings and enough water to allow it to make its own juices. I'll probably take the baby carrots on the plane with me, as Daddy has declared that he doesn't "do" carrots. In the morning, I'll skip over to Publix to find the smallest celery heart they'll sell me, and add those, and the can (ugh, Daddy, a CAN?) of green beans he's got, or maybe I can convince him that this'll be good with frozen greens of some kind (collard, turnip, or spinach)... mmm, a full meal that required so little work! And with the way we eat, it could easily be two or more meals!

And we'll hit the driving range... and the pool... and then, he's fairly certain that tomorrow is "Food Truck Thursday", which they do once a month in this gated community, so we've got dinner covered.

All in all, a very good day. I hope your days are as good as this one was for us!

Stayed in bed this morning because...

I'd gotten plenty of sound sleep, but the thunderstorms rolled in, and even though I didn't get a light show, I did get to hear the heavy rain and thunder... so I stayed in bed having a mental war with my bladder, which did eventually win, but not until I heard Daddy puttering around downstairs. That's late enough! Get up and pee, for gooness sakes! #GoonessIsARealWordIJustMadeUp

We started our morning in sleepwear... which progressed to starting our mid-day in sleepwear... which progressed to starting our evening in sleepwear. At some point after just snacking through our morning, there was a question of "real food". I remembered we still had ingrediments for wraps, so that's what I fed us. And then Daddy eventually changed into "outside" clothes, because he was ready to hit a few balls in the backyard. So I raced upstairs to put on real clothes, too, so I could join him outside.

He wasn't particularly happy with his shots, and frankly, for having been landscaped for the past two days, the grass was pretty damn thick. Musta been all that overnight rain.

We came back in, and after resting his back for a mo', I suggested we get ourselves a bit of dessert from Publix. Daddy had mentioned yesterday that they carry cannoli in their bakery, and I reminded him that they also carry key lime pie. So that'll be a "yes" on dessert!

We'd already watched a lot of Doctor Who (from S4 E14 through the DT Specials {which were not so easy to find in Amazon} and into S5 E1), so Daddy was ready to watch something else (and I blamed our sedentary day for his not-great club-swinging). So, since I was still "outside" dressed, I decided to meet my step challenge while Daddy watched "something else". I'd only be gone about a half-hour, and his "night-night meds" alarm would be going off shortly after my return, so we'd have our dessert then, and he could take his meds.

Pretty uneventful day, and if I could have done all I managed to do from the bed, I mighta.

Momma said there'd be days like this. There'd be days like this, my Momma said. When was the last time you had a day like this?

Rainy Days and Mondays Always Get Me Down (sing it if ya know it, kids)

Went to bed fairly early last night. Got up pretty early because of it. This is not a problem. I'm just sayin'...

Our morning was overcast, and even though my "successful" day at the pool yesterday "inspired" Daddy to indicate that he may also head that way, we kinda knew that the water temperature on the first day of May would be uncomfortably cold, if the sun stayed hidden behind clouds. So we ditched that as a possible plan, for today, at least.

We called Uncle Leroy to see about rescheduling our lunch date. I'm not leaving here until the 10th, so we settled on Sunday again. Maybe before then we'll see the other family we've already seen; maybe not. We're still keeping tabs, by phone/text, because that's what we do. So, Sunday lunch with the L's.

We also (both) emailed the neighbor bff's who went back to Canada shortly after I got here, because somehow, they were being left outta the loop regarding Daddy's health, and that needed fixin'. So we fixed it.

Daddy grabbed a dozen golf balls from the garage and his #3 hybrid wood, and we went out back. After an ugly swing, he hit all twelve off towards the green behind his house. Don't worry, the green's not so close he'll actually get a ball up there, at least not at this stage of his "game". Once that's a worry, he'll have already made it back out onto the course, and he won't need to go to any driving range for muscle memory of his swing.

We came back into the house after the dozen because the lawn dudes were mulching out back, and because it was beginning to look like it might rain. And then it did rain. I even tweeted about it, because I was a little bit excited to be able to hear it, and see it falling at 45º towards the back porch. Daddy suggested we sit on the back porch swing, but I reminded him that at that angle, the swing was very likely already soaked.

While I sat hoping for the thunderstorm that the meteorologists were predicting, Daddy got a bit melancholy and played the Karen Carpenter tune that he kept in his queue for days such as today. I sang along, and it had a melancholic effect on me.

So we watched some Doctor Who, and Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, and Daddy watched a couple of "his" crime shows, and we snacked on proteins like tuna salad and pb&j. Then around 5, he decided to take a nap, and since I had a step challenge to meet, I took a walk around the block. Stepping out his front door, there's the overwhelming smell of a broken jar of olives. Walking down his sidewalk (on HIS street only, not around the whole block), that scent is everywhere.

I love olives, but that was a very weird thing. The only thing we can figure is the mulch that the landscapers are pouring everywhere for some reason smells like olives. They've only just finished Daddy's street today, both in front and back yards. So. #ILoveYouOliveJuice (enunciate both phrases into a mirror; they look the same to someone who reads lips) #OrSoIveBeenTold #PossiblyAnOldMommyTale (that's "Or So I've" not "or solve", fyi)

Woke Daddy from his nap, and we watched more Doctor Who. We have one final David Tennant episode, which means we've completed Donna's companionship, as well as getting to see the entire gang of companions & wannabe companions, all together, saving the universe. Of course, by the end of S4 E14, I'm a bit of a blubbering mess, so more melancholy.

And it never stormed. But today was pretty much both a Rainy Day and a Monday, so we were Down.

Does any music alter your mood just by hearing it or thinking about it? Do you have specific music you like to listen to BECAUSE it will alter your mood?