Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Sometimes, I'm a complete and utter moron. Good thing I'm a BLESSED complete and utter moron!

Today was a day quite similar to any other recent day.  We got up and did the little things we do.  I started a load of laundry, with help carrying it all down.  Then, as I was moving towards swapping clothes from washers to dryer, I got a call from a friend of mine looking for some help on a rush basis - did I want to make fifty bucks for a couple of hours, and could I be at the Disney studios by noon?  Well, of course!  What will I be doing for my $25/hour?

My friend didn't have all the details, but what she did know was that she needed to find one more "player," and then she'd get those pertinent details.  All she knew in that moment was that we'd be playing a game as if we were on a game show.  Cool.  I dealt with the laundry, with the promise Stephen would rescue it all from the dryer in an hour.

Then several text messages were exchanged and I was able to get dressed and made up and out the door in time for the noon call time.  I arrived at the actual location after noon, but I was the first of our little gang of three, and I learned that our actual call time was 12:15.  All of us early!  YAY!

The game we were testing looks to be a ton of fun, once they get it on the air.  The fact that we were all "in" the industry means that they'll never call us back to be actual contestants, but that's okay.  We had fun; if they liked us enough to come "play" again while they tweak the process, then we'll get another fifty for another couple of hours.  Win-win!

So I celebrated by running to Lowe's to pick up some more lumber and brackets, since Stephen's been hankering to continue the bookshelf-building.  I also seriously considered getting us a new kitchen trashcan, so I meandered down to that aisle.  Once I'd made up my mind on none of the choices at that time, I realized that all I had in my cart were my purchases, and all I had in my pocket was my phone.  WHERE were my wallet and keys?  WHERE was the fifty-dollar bill I'd be paying with?  WHAT kind of complete and utter MORON leaves all those things behind on the lumber shelves while shopping elsewhere?

Frantic, I went back to where I knew I'd left them.  I went back to the employee who'd cut my lumber for me.  I went past cashiers, asking all employees I saw whether anyone had turned in a wallet and keys.  Getting desperate by the time I reached the customer service desk, I can assure you.  Didn't know how I'd get home, or how Stephen could possibly help me if I phoned or texted him.  Didn't know how to report my car stolen if it had been.  Didn't know what to do about all of my "cards" in the wallet, and so pissed at myself for being DOWN seventy bucks on the day rather than UP fifty!  STUPID, STUPID, STUPID.

But not only were my wallet and keys turned in and at the very top of the "Lost and Found," so were my clip-on sunglasses!  The wallet hadn't been opened - every card, every piece of paper, even the single nickel in the changepurse part were exactly in place.  I am so blessed.

So after I went back to complete my purchases, I encountered the couple that I KNEW had turned them in.  I'd seen them in the lumber aisle as I was leaving it, and the gentleman may even have been trying to get my attention when he first saw me!  He gave his wife the credit, and I thanked them both PROFUSELY.

Moral of the story: if you're going to be a complete and utter moron, which, if you're human, you may very well decide to be from time to time, make sure that you recognize before, during, and afterward how very very blessed you are.  You may regret being a moron, but you will definitely appreciate being blessed!


  1. Ha ha ha - me and you both! Yesterday, whilst on the phone to my mother, I got a piece of toast stuck in the toaster. I unplugged it and was trying to retrieve it with a knife. I got frustrated, shook the toaster upside down, crumbs went EVERYWHERE, then I went back with the knife again, cut off a piece of the toast, flipped it out and it landed in my tea. I swore, my Mother was shocked. Sigh. So, it is not just you!

    1. Thank you - you elicited a laugh from me, and I'm not yet fully awake.

      I'm not sure I would classify your moronic episode as "complete and utter," Holly. ;) Possibly just a bit clumsy (not quite moronic, even)? But the BLESSING is that you remembered to unplug the toaster!

      I'm grateful that my wallet was found and turned in, and that, while you may have needed a fresh cuppa, at least your mess was limited to crumbs! :)

      {Side note} My Mommy taught me to swear (with Daddy's help), so she'd not be shocked by my "walking into a bar and sailors running out."


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